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You haven't said how frequently you go out on a ride? Every weekend?
Riding a bicycle should be lower down your priorities at the moment IMO. Im not preaching or being condescending.
Talking from experience. 🙂
yep! same as OP, women dont understand it, and when in the company of a mate who rides also, his missus and mine are constantly on at us, and whining to each other!
we just switch off as its not gonna stop us going and just let them moan at each other all night about us, it seems its part and parcel of cycling in general 🙁
I think I may have to preach
You're gonna be a Dad - sort yourself out!
To the rest of you moaning/whinging and whining about your lovely ladies either:
MTFU
Get a new model
Or
STFU
I get so fed up with this nonsense......trust me, it works both ways. Men can be just as domineering with when/where and how you are allowed to spend your free time. It comes down to successful negotiation. If you can't manage that you either need to find someone with whom you can form a proper relationship OR you need to take a good hard look at your own communicating skills.
*waits for torrent of testosterone fuelled feedback*
Oh, and U31 - you're a very naughty boy *wags finger* 😉
Make sure you tell her her hormones aren't your problem as you go out the door.
On a serious note, I've developed a habit of doing 3 things:
1) Try and make the most of any time when she's out doing anything to get the biking in then where possible.
2) Try and always tell her you'll be back about 2 hours later than you expect, thus surprising her when you get back 10 minutes earlier than that.
3) Make sure she knows and understands you like getting out and about, staying fit and healthy and being in the countryside - i.e. understands that it's not just some masochistic exercise thing.
Good luck - hope no one's said the above cos I couldn't be bothered reading everything! 🙂
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
OP- I get round the weekly issue of riding by starting most of my rides at 7.30-8am. Back intime for family. I used to think people were wierd doing this. Now it makes alot of sense.
lol Jo, is that the swiping her forks, or somethin' else i said.... :p
If I were you I'd tell her you'll go out much earlier so you can be back in time to spend the day with her, make sure you're sure to have a mobile and be where you can get a signal and reassure her that when the baby comes you'll cut down on the riding for a while so she need not worry.
I've got two of my own and my wife is very keen on my riding as it helps keep me fitter than without but kids have to take the priority time wise.
OK so I'm gonna get flamed for this but here goes...
Being pregnant is pretty shitty. You're fat. You feel hideous. The mirror tells you you look hideous. You feel like an whale/elephant. Your hormones are all over the place. Black is white and white is black. Your brain feels like it's becoming mush. You're hot. You're tired and boy are you grumpy. And you feel unlovable.
Spacemonkey - sorry but it's time to put the bike down for a few weeks and concentrate on the lady YOU got pregnant!
Right - if anyone wants to flame me I'm over at the stadium riding my hardtail...
@corroded: about 6-10hrs/week (2-3 rides inc the big one on the w/end)
@clubber and hora: agreed.
@littlegirlbunny: I'll have you know I am in no way domineering about what she does and with whom. Neither of us have an issue with attachment/jealousy/attention/etc. It's only the last few weeks where she's got a bit ranty at the amount of time I spend riding.
@philjunior: 1) I do when I can, 2) she'd go mental if I said "See you in 6 hours"!, 3) she understands why I do it - for the reasons you say
I'm seeing this a bit more from her side. I guess I am being a touch selfish in terms of riding time, especially at the weekend (even when I've got all my/our other jobs done). Will definitely have a chat and a re-think.
Cheers all
possibly is subconsciously concern in case things kick off and you're miles away
This was absolutely one of my other half's concerns..
FWIW, I [b]was[/b] out riding when things kicked off but we'd just got back from hospital and they said that they'd induce the next day so Mrs Clubber suggested that I go out for a spin while I could...
I raced home when I got the call (only took 20mins as I was staying local) but I really shouldn't have - I was as tired as her afterwards (OK, not really but I really was pretty knackered...) 🙂
Good luck though!
Oh and
4) Make sure you have some time when you're just enjoying time together - not doing all the stuff that doubtless needs to be done at some point.
@hora, unfortunately I can't ride that early - I'm at my desk (upstairs 😀 ) by 7:00-7:30. Hence I tend to wrap up around 4:30-5:30 and head out. My natural weekday instinct is to get my work sorted first and foremost.
@joolsburger: I've tried the early Sat/Sun riding but get the same response. I think it's just the fact that I'm out/away for that period of time regardless. I'll reassure her again that I'll cut right back once the little fella appears.
@carriegold: that's a pretty good description.
How many evenings a week do you ride and how many times on a weekend?
One or two 2-3:30hr weekday evenings, and then a 3-5hr session at the weekend.
EDIT: the thing is that when you look at the amount of time you spend on a hobby, e.g. let's say 8-12hrs/week, you can pretty much equate it to one- to one-and-a-half working days. No wonder it doesn't go un-noticed and we have to find a way to fit everything in.
Twice at the weekend for me. Or one Weekend and one weekday. With a newborn its too tiring (and lonely) as most mums can spend all day alone.
Shes probably thinking ahead and worrying.
You could also mix it up and do two 1hr road rides straight after work? minimal impact and an intense workout still?
She doesn't have an issue with the weekday/shorter rides.
In a way, her issue is partly to do with the fact she think I'm obsessed with trying to do more miles, hence going out for longer. She tends to feel I'm too competitive generally anyway - although my argument is that I like to get better at "stuff."
Dude, you aint got it so bad believe me....i had a nipper 8 years ago and had to forego loads of my self indulgant hobbies then just when I was getting some time back we had a second nipper, now the cycle starts all over again, and i'm not getting any younger.
She constantly moans about even a couple of hours a month let alone each week and has even started complaining about me cycling to work and back as it means i'm back half hour later than if i drove,...i try the discussion approach and just get shot down in a tyrade of overwhelming counter arguments....but i'm not bitter..
if you are about to have a baby, i think that you are going the wrong way with your training levels.
IMO you should be starting to cut back so that you do not experience such a big crash. Exercise and mental health are closely linked and if you have to STOP cycling and START being a father full time you may suffer.
Suggest you try to cut back to to a few hours one day a week, now, and hope you can maintain that level happily both before and after the kid is born.
SOOBalias +1. That makes alot of sense.
Since when did being a father become a reason to not to do anything!!
A baby has no interest in its father, get the riding now, you can spend time with the kids when their older(and more intresting).
However to keep the piece at home I suggest you steal only half the time from there, the rest you bunk from work.
Good Luck, and keep on riding.
if you are about to have a baby, i think that you are going the wrong way with your training levels.IMO you should be starting to cut back so that you do not experience such a big crash. Exercise and mental health are closely linked and if you have to STOP cycling and START being a father full time you may suffer.
Suggest you try to cut back to to a few hours one day a week, now, and hope you can maintain that level happily both before and after the kid is born.
I reckon you've a good point there - and not one I expected to hear. I can get "irritable" if I don't run or cycle anyway, so who knows how much of an ar5e I might turn into post-arrival.
When I saw the header of this post I was going to weigh in on the OP's side because I got loads of flak from my last two boyfriends about being obsessed blah blah blah. Frankly, it was to do with their insecurity issues and inability to be alone/amuse themselves, plus some widespread puritannical hangover that we mustn't have a nice time. Knickers to that I say!
HOWEVER, she is pregnant. When you're pregnant everything changes, it's horrible. So please try to cut her some slack.
Then again, life shouldn't have to stop completely, and you will have to make sure a precedent is not being set now, hopefully you will be able to negotiate some bike time and increase it once your child arrives.
I knew a triathlete who used to take her baby on the bike with her (she said it was great training!). Probably not newborn tho.
Yes when my missus was heavily pregnant I learn not to disagree with her... 😆
I think you still need your "shed" time - we are men after all. But maybe cut back a bit and spend that time reassuring her.
"onanism" - I had to look this up!
"onanism" - I had to look this up!
Via Google with safe search off, I hope! 😛
My wife had me tannoyed at work once so I would phone her up so she could start an argument when she was pregnant. 😉
If I was expecting delivery of the thing I wanted most in the entire world, like a DB9 or something, I'd be really excited, I wouldn't be in a bad mood all the time.
Tsk, women eh?
It's the natural order of things, I'm afraid.
Your own life is now over and your only remaining purpose is to provide for and raise your family.
Get used to it until your next life.
You do believe in reincarnation, don't you?
samuri - Member
If I was expecting delivery of the thing I wanted most in the entire world, like a DB9 or something, I'd be really excited, I wouldn't be in a bad mood all the time.
😆
What you need is a wife with a more expensive and/or time-consuming hobby than biking - mine has horses.
Basically its £100 per week to point into a field and say 'thats mine', and that is before all other 'minor' costs, such as buying, vets, blacksmiths, gear, entry fees, travelling etc etc.
Nothing in mtb-ing comes close, not even my Ti/XTR habits.
Learn a new word [b]compromise [/b]also how to plead and look sorry for yourself helps, also plan ahead, your life will change when baby comes along so except that biking will be a now & again thing for the next couple of years, however she will never understand your passion especially if you hurt yourself coming off. 😕
Forget the psychology, what's needed is a tandem and sidecar...
Take her with you.
If you think its bad now, wait till the kid comes, you will not get a lot of riding in compared to what you are used to. Adapt though, I run a lot when they (we had twins) are in bed and got a trailer for the bike, but the days of 2 day epics or weeks away in the alps are very few and far between
Have you got a dog that needs walking ? mine needs a run in the woods I cant keep up so I have to take my bike!!
Only do 50 - 60 miles and with the time you save go into the nearest pub to your house, get lathered then go home. She'll then think you are a normal bloke and shut up.
Or she'll find another bloke (or lass).
tell her you need to clear out your left hand side of the brain from the weeks rigours. Tis a fact!
have a danger ****, it can be as thrilling as DH racing, more pleasurable and you dont even have to leave your house
I like to tell the wife that I've been mountain biking longer than we've been together and it's a case of last in first out
You want to try ****ing off to the alps for a week while your missus is mid term.
Got 2 kids, 2 grandkids + another on the way so still got same problems 😕
Luckily I work shifts 😀
Although this is a bad weekend/week. Nights at weekend, grandson till tomorrow and a meeting to attend Wed before back to work Thurs and 12hr nights again at weekend.
Is this a serious discussion or are you taking the piss?
understands that it's not just some masochistic exercise thing.
It isn't? 😮
Andy
We all love riding, I myself have posted at least two threads bemoaning lack of £s and understanding in my household.
It keeps me sane and gives me that brief thrill of danger that helps remind me there is more to life than middle management and life behind a desk for the sake of a three bed semi and a car loan.
[b]however[/b]
riding a bicycle is a hobby, something which I fit in around my life alongside of competing priorities. My wife is 5 months gone and is the focus of all my attention, she is carrying my child and that's a damn sight more than a set of welded tubes or anyone one this forum is likely to do for me (no offers please 😉 ).
Having had a childhood where I infrequently saw my dad due to his combining a vocation and a job to the point where we never did anything togther and are now virtual strangers I know that a hobby is not a priority over a family. Do you really want to risk losing your wife and being seperated from your child because you [b]had[/b] to go over the hills and far away on an inanimate object obsesivly?
Just try a bit of compromise, I'm assuming you're not aged eighty so I'm sure a period of reduced biking can be made up for in the future.