[Closed] "You're weird ..." and "You're obsessed with your bike and riding ..."

Thin end of the wedge that, I'd suggest that you could devote your time to installing a new patio with some room beneath for a complaining missus.

have my fun (group or solo)

So wrong in many ways

do you have kids?

Keep ignoring the comments and it will go 4 ways

1, She'll get used to it and stop the comments
2, Get more and more pissed off and moan more to try and stop you riding
3, Get her own hobby and be happy then for you to have yours
4, Find herself another fella who she can control to do whatever she wants

My ex took option 4........... happy days, someone elses problem now as she's still the same!!

Disguise your intention of going biking by saying you're off out to see your mistress?

Get a new mrs...
I'm lucky, mine puts up with my obsession and actually tries to keep up!
[IMG] [/IMG]

Green eyes, baby's got green eyes.

Time to get rid i'd say.
When you get your replacement, don't get one thats interested in bikes either, she'll only want to come with you 😯

Is it any wonder girls only understand one thing [url= http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/shoes/ ]This[/url]

Just point out that many bloes spend just as long, (and longer) and just as much money in the pub and on beer. Ask if she wants a fat alcoholic husband or a fit healthy one? 😀

Hopes LGB doesnt see this pic and notice i've nicked the pace forks of the Mrs On one and stuck them on my DB.... 😳

My Mrs has 2 horses so she is gonna lose any argument about time/money consuming obsessions

Looks like she wants to spend more time with you and is missing you at times, . . that's not always such a bad thing?

Thin end of the wedge indeed. Her resentment will develop as time goes on.

Either back down and let her control you, or continue doing what you want and let her know in no uncertain terms that all her moaning won't change who you are.

Unless you have kids that you never see and she actually has a point.

I am very lucky that my good lady doesn't mind how much time I spend with my bike, I would hate her to get into it though as then she would know how much things actually cost!!! *AHEM*

yes for the sake of a relationiship you should NEVER compromise and spend time with her. Instead you should ignore her and complain to a bunch of fat single men who only have three hobbies
Bikes , mysogyny and onanism
They of course only know what the first one means.
[b]Have you thought about discussing this with her rather than us ...I know this is a radical aprroach but I beleive that communicating with your partner can often be succesful[/b]

with me it started with cars, fixing, rallying, autotesting etc. Then it was badminton followed by squash(7 days/w). Then I got into teaching swimming+cars+squash.
Nowadays it is mostly "just" biking and a bit of gym.
Still together and still getting the "not again" remarks after 30 odd years.

She is clearly a mentalist!!!!

Mine says exactly the same. I feel your pain!

Kids - our first is on the way, ETA Sep 1st. I understand this could be part of her newly adopted attitude - fair enough. She also understands I want to get more miles in now because our whole routine is going to change - and she knows I'll still want to go out but not as often.

I know a couple of guys who's partners also ride - they both say it's a nightmare because they can't get away from them. I guess it depends how much time you want to spend together/apart.

I don't ignore her comments - I reason with her for a minute or so and then just go out. She doesn't get ar5ey, she just seems to get herself a bit wound up when I want to go out for 4hrs+.

@PP: I spent most of my formative years down the pub so I don't "need" to do it these days. She's well aware I could be wasting time and money elsewhere.

@Junkyard: I'm not airing this here because it's an issue. I'm just mentioning it because lots of us have s/o's with different attitudes, hence just wondering out of curiosity ...

They of course only know what the first one means.

You must be special then, because you're supercilious and invidious as well.

My wife is mostly OK with it though does say that I'm more interested in bikes than her - probably true. I made it clear before we married that this is what I do and if that's a problem then she has her options.

But she understands I don't spend much time in pubs or drink too much and thinks it unlikely I'll get bored and look for another woman so she seems happy really; she has a baby now so pretty busy herself these days....

she may be thinking your having an affair.it happened to my mate .

My girlfriend has her stuff she does, I have my stuff I do.

Perhaps she's just got the monk on because she's pregnant and less able to do what she likes?

Hmmm I didn't even mention going out in the last three months of my other half's pregnancy.. I figured that with all the changes she was having to go through.. and all the changes we were both about to go through.. the best thing I could do was man up and start getting used to having completely different priorities..

This paid off well in the long run.. cos of how grateful she was for my unwavering support.. and once the post-natal psychosis and depression eased off after the first seven months of our sons life she was totally at one with my need to get some space for a good few hours each week..

EDIT: massive hormonal changes (in both parents scientists have recently proved) during pregnacy can also lead to some quite pronounced personality changes..

OP see the warning signs and start talking/emphasising and listening to your other half now.

Dont become a typical self-obsessed singleton who hides from discussion and listening.

Your summing up the majority of women arnt you?
Me and my ex split because I dont think she could hack me going out and having fun without her with my own hobby, tried to get her into it but she didnt enjoy it, pretended to kinda.

find her a hobby and it will help you no end.

my mates wife does the same treatment as mine did when he's out on his bike, im not sure what it is but its certainly a common thread.

Why does she (I assume) devote so much time watching shite soaps, reading magazines that bitch about celebs etc?

I am very lucky that my good lady doesn't mind how much time I spend with my bike, I would hate her to get into it though as then she would know how much things actually cost!!! *AHEM*

Mine doesn't object to the odd couple of hours here & there, as it's time I might otherwise have spent at the gym. She does have a bit of a go when I go off on an all-day epic though, especially when eg. the shower needs regrouting.

I really don't want her to explore the actual cost of things - she thinks my (still bargain-tastic) £300 Crossmax SLRs were £100...

Andy

Ask her how many hours a week she spends watching the bloody television.

🙄 😐

I'm not obsessed - I just [s]like being out on my bike[/s] don't like spending time with her - simples.

corrected that for you 😈

Its all about balance. Obsessing too much over one hobby that starts to take over your life isn't healthy full stop. Its alittle autistic in a way.

Balance- I have circa 6hours a week to ride and I make up for it by having a great time the rest of the week with my missus 🙂

MTFU and do what want when you want! No woman finds a doormat attractive, even tho they say and think its what they want!
When i first met the wife and took her back to mine, i think the kitchen full of motorbikes, xc hardtail,2 bmx's, an all mountain teocali and a snap on three box roll cab kinda gave the game away!

I know she developed an interest in mtb to have a common interest(she was already in to motorbikes so that was half the battle) and in return i support her in any interest she develops, but if its a girlie thing, she fully expects me not to take part

What you need is one of these:

[img] [/img]

The rare 'MTBing Wife', i was one of the lucky ones to catch such a rarity 😀

she has a baby now so pretty busy herself these days....

How kind of you to give her a hobby - where did she get it from ?

my mates wife does the same treatment as mine did when he's out on his bike, im not sure what it is but its certainly a common thread

LOL @Zulu-Eleven

@Scienceoffice et al: she hardly watches TV - neither of us do really.

@hora: we're pretty cool in the listening/talking dept - but I get your gist.

@EVERYONE: I'm cool with her "attitude" and I don't have a problem with it. I think it's a combination of:

> latter stages of pregnancy
> she wants everything to be sorted ready for the new arrival (believe me, I (indeed, we) have done loads on this front recently
> there's been loads of sport on lately (WC, Wimbledon, Golf, TdF, etc) and she doesn't really get sport and she think it's obsessive

She's usually totally cool when I get back - it's just the pre-ride bit she stresses out.

More important than sharing a hobby is actually finding someone you are attracted to, like being with and get on with. Bonus if you share a hobby but its a hardly a key requirement.

she has a baby now so pretty busy herself these days....

I hope no one from mumsnet is reading this.

If she is expecting then you are probably being a bit selfish. Pregnancy is quite draining and I assume that she is quite keen to have you around to help out with household stuff, preparing baby related things and just be there if she needs you all that etc.

Kids have a way of impacting on your time that you can't really prepare for.

I'd suggest that you ride really early AM I often head off around 6.30- 7 am back at 10-11 ish and then you have the rest of your day maybe do a night a week.

Bibbbl

Pop psychology here but at a guess. She is pregnant, probably very nervous, hormones are upsetting her, anything and everything is a threat. Reassurances and warnings / planning if possible when you go out may smooth the road.

Being pregnant was a vital piece of infomation you missed out there!

Do the right thing.

@joolsburger and TheBrick: I agree it's most likely the pregnancy vibe, particularly with her only have a few weeks to go. I guess this is something that us blokes can never fully appreciated. So I think I'll have a chat with her from a couple of different angles this week to offer more support and reassurance.

Hard to say for sure without knowing you both but this late pregnancy thing isn't uncommon and quite possibly is subconsciously concern in case things kick off and you're miles away which isn't unreasonable. Not to mention that she's quite possibly feeling a bit bored, etc while not being particulary mobile/feeling great so you being away for several hours at a time isn't great.

For me, I just cut back my rides myself - down to 2-3 hrs and more local than before. In some ways it's good prep for when the baby's born, depending on how yours is - ours was pretty exhausting, some are less so - and if I'd been going out for hours regularly in the early months, I think she'd have quite justifiably lynched me...