[Closed] While the wife/husband's away........

.... and posting in the wrong forum. That'd kill her, but she doesn't know.

Again no lines of marching powder of the flesh of naked hookers, but I like going out for a ride, coming back late, dropping mud all over the house. Drop my clothes on the floor and commence slamming a pizza in the oven while I have a shower and then putting on some low grade action film - preferably something with Chuck Norris/Van Damme/Seagal, as that is a sure sign it will be aimed at my low level of intellect.

That and listening to rap music in my gruds, whilst getting some breakfast in the morning.

I've been looking at the internet while eating.
I've eaten most meals out of a bowl even though a plate would've been sufficient.
I haven't stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.
The dog's sleeping on the bed.
The bike's in the house for fettling.
The TV hasn't gone on once, aside from watching American Flyers yesterday.
I bought white bread.

As I say, not rock and roll, but I feel I'm 'geting away' with stuff.

Your wife seems to run a fairly tight ship. So tight indeed, you can't seem to fit your testicles in?

Wander around naked and wee in the sink, might as well make the most of it 🙂

I haven't stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.

My Wife went away with Her sister a while back .If they did hookers in Tesco's I would have been in there like a rat up a Drainpipe.

Instead I stripped my Bike in the Living room and ate a LOT of Pizza

I can eat pasta for every meal, never have the telly on, read without being told to do something, play music without being told to turn that racket off, actually now I look at the list I'm wondering whether I actually married my mother!

I haven't stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.

Well you can no longer call yourself a man.

And won't she notice when she comes home and switches it on.

It's just nice to take life at your own pace, wife and kids have been away for the last two weekends, even started riding again which I've maintained. Trouble is they're back now and my mum's coming next week, one extreme to the other 🙄

As for the dishwasher comment scaredypants +1

I haven't stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.

Surely paper plates were invented for such occasions?

So tight indeed, you can't seem to fit your testicles in?

I can.

If she says I can.

I forget quite how in control she is until they take their annual trip. Couldn't do more than 10 days though, I need my direction.

I can eat pasta for every meal

Cooked for tea, it's good to go for lunch tomorrow. Check.

And won't she notice when she comes home and switches it on.

Very good.

ride my bike down the front steps, in the front door, round the tight corner, through the hall, into the bathroom, clean it in the bath.
ride it through the kitchen, through the living room, out the back door, across the garden (through the bedding plants, tee hee) and into the shed.

I got caught teaching myself to use the sewing machine. 😳

If she says I can.

😀

Your wife seems to run a fairly tight ship. So tight indeed, you can't seem to fit your testicles in?

So does your mum give you more room for your testicles?

So does your mum give you more room for your testicles?

[img] [/img]

My wife's away next week to visit her sister in Germany, the kids have left home, but I've ended up looking after my daughter's dog 🙁

When the family were away on holiday for a week I felt slightly guilty about bringing the bike stand into the living room, putting the sport on and opening a beer or two. Stripped and serviced a fork but no carpet protection apart form the oil bucket, just to keep things edgy.

A full nights sleep was the other highlight.

my lot has been away for most of august. nowt has changed.

12 hour ****athon

/ thread

I think I have it good. My wife takes the kids to her parents (400 miles away) for two weeks at a time while on maternity leave and feels guilty about it. The oven does not get used over this period.
Two week cycle of work,curry,plan weekend, biking/hiking/kayaking up north. At the end I can tell her how terrible she is for taking the kids from their dad for a couple of weeks.

I'm not talking cocaine and hookers

You're doing it wrong.

ha ha ha class , however the dishwasher thing sounds like my mrs , agree wee in the sink.

Living the dream with you...

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/so-mrs_oab-is-away

Beard growth challenge - 7 days with no mrs_oab and I grew this bad boy:
[img] [/img]
(Twas shaved after one snog upon return...she wasn't happy!)

12 hour ****athon

I would have bet my house you'd say something like that

Clean your bike chain in the dishwasher. My Mrs now considers this [i]normal[/i] behaviour.

Amateurs. You need lessons in winding the missus up while she is away. I just sent her this picture after we had a conversation about speakers in the lounge.

[img] [/img]

Helped a mate pick them up from a freecycle add, before he took them home I placed them in my lounge to see if this would help with my case to put my B&W 601s on stands.

Kids, if you want a puppy, start by asking for a horse.

My wife and son are at her dads currently. Took a day off on wednesday, rode all morning and most of the afternoon, snoozed on the couch, then ordered a dominos. Bliss

Party at OP's?

I bet you had a wee standing up eh, you naughty boy 😉

Kids, if you want a puppy, start by asking for a horse.

A girl I know did this to her boyfriend when they bought their first flat together. She'd found this stripy carpet that she knew wouldn't be to her OH''s taste, so she started off saying she wanted to put it on the floor AND the ceiling 😆

I usually end up buying a motorbike on Ebay 🙂

When mines away the place actually gets tidier!

A girl I know did this to her boyfriend when they bought their first flat together. She'd found this stripy carpet that she knew wouldn't be to her OH''s taste, so she started off saying she wanted to put it on the floor AND the ceiling

So what did she end up with, magnolia. ❓ ❓

I just go all out... crack and hookers though, none of your gay nose powder.

In all seriousness though i just ride more be that skateboards or bikes it matters not... Oh and steak Mrs Rizla don't like steak.

wee in the sink, might as well make the most of it

Why would I want to wee in my own sink?

Plus, I had to empty the dishwasher this morning (finally ran out of cups). It was a right PITA. Should've stacked it logically. Damn her.

+1 @zippy.

why is it that women like to control so much and make life a general misery, A. because they don't have a hobby themselves, grrr. Actual this thread needs a sister thread "Most anal/bone moments from the missus"

Why would I want to wee in my own sink?

I'm not going to justify that with a proper response.

Funny how most people have said about not having to watch TV!

Get fed up of having to watch crap on the TV with the other half. Better now we live in a flat with a seperate Kitchen as it means I can cook while listening to music again.

computer games, beer, 3am, on a weekday. and Nightride everynight.

if she goes away for more than a week, I start to lose skin tone and hair.

they keep you healthy and alive.

Mog - Member

wee in the sink, might as well make the most of it

Why would I want to wee in my own sink?

Because you can 🙂

following your logic Mr Knife, then why not have a Richard in the sink too?

There is always one that goes too far yoda 🙂 and today that is you 🙂

Boys your girls are rubbish. My mrs always puts good music on over telly. Only moans about bikes in the kitchen when mine get in the way of hers. Encourages funky facial growth and never watches soap operas and understands the argument of no I dont want to do that now.

I'd probably just spend the 10 days roughing up the prime suspect to be honest

mactheknife - Member

Mog - Member

wee in the sink, might as well make the most of it

Why would I want to wee in my own sink?

Because you can

Got it.

yoda - Member

following your logic Mr Knife, then why not have a Richard in the sink too?

No.

Gotta be washing bike parts properly in the dishwasher and tyres in the washing machine, surely?

Sofa is moved to a few inches of the tv, brushing my teeth in the shower & kids cereals in. I go wild

brushing my teeth in the shower

while-the-wife/husbands-away

Doing nothing [b][i]is[/i][/b] a valid use of time, it's called relaxing, unwinding and suchnsuch. Unfortunately, the OH is like some kind of nightmare parent/ boss combo: "oh, you're not doing anything*, I should give you something to do"

*-that I acknowledge as being 'something'. Xbox, films, TV, reading, generally unwinding all fit within this category of 'nothing'.

Boys boys boys...............

I've been living la vida contractor away from home for a year now and can recomend to you amatures the following.

To survive without a hoover for 6 months is posible. Simply buy rolls of brown packing paper (the heavyweight stuff thye scrunch up to pad out boxes of bike parts) and lay over carpeted areas. If you cant find a local supply of this, simply buy more bike parts.

The woman next door will wash and dry your laundry if you casualy drop into the conversation that you havent got a washing machine.

For £20 once a week a cleaner will come arround. Unlike some strange people I don't clean up beforehand, thus she has to work for her money. This is the only thing standing between me and hospitalisation for some godawful disease not seen in the western world since the dark ages.

Bike maintenance can be done in the livingroom, or the kitchen, or outside. The kitchen has the advantage of the sink, however the livingroom is more productive due to the bike-beer seperation. Outside is good, but can be a bit draughty, otherwise it has none of the advantages of inside.

Actual this thread needs a sister thread "Most anal/bone moments from the missus"

Let me know when this thread is started...I have pictures.

i quite like sitting in the lounge with the main light on without her complaing that it's too bright and she needs mood lighting.

Last time my wife was away for more than a day or two (in hospital with a broken leg) my most outrageous act was to use only a single bowl and a spork for the whole week.

Finish meal, put spork and bowl on the draining board for later adding to the dishwasher. Next meal, wash by hand, re-use. Repeat.

I did go through several mugs, and I did watch a lot of really rubbish action films and yes, the dogs were allowed to sit on the sofa with me, but that was about as adventurous as it got. Hardly a week in Vegas...

Who knows, the next time she's away for the weekend, I might go kayaking. JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT!!!

I haven't stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

sc-xc - Member

Actual this thread needs a sister thread "Most anal/bone moments from the missus"

Let me know when this thread is started...I have pictures.

Why not start your own thread?.....am keen to see the pics 😛

tyres in the washing machine

I am keen to try this. What cycle for tyres?

if she goes away for more than a week, I start to lose skin tone and hair.

they keep you healthy and alive.

Plus 1!

Wife and children out for the night, therefore I've just glued my CX tubs in the kitchen.

When my other half goes away for a day or two she expexcts her bike to be washed serviced and polished.

brushing my teeth in the shower

+1 - why dos this piss women off, best form of multi tasking

Whilst having a piss ?

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

I've been living la vida contractor away from home for a year now and can recomend to you amatures the following....

missing the point, which is when they are away, you can rebel in the most minor way possible. what you describe sounds like a sad bachelor life. women make the world soft.

When Mrs Coolhandluke goes away with the little one I always:

Cook an ace meal that she wouldn't eat or get too much curry take away
Bike fettle and bike ride
Watch an action film with the volume way too loud
Drink too much
Go to bed too late

Last time she went away I even moved in my bookshelf speakers ( Mission 780se's) next to the TV and put he neat little satalite speakers away. The bookshelf speakers are still in place too!

My wife's away - so I'll actually have to run my own bath when I get home from a night ride - rather than having a full bath bath waiting for me, grrrrrrr 🙁

Load of ironing out, wife is in bed and I am listening to antisocial music, loafing on the internet and drinking fresh coffee. I truly am one crazy mo-fo. 😉

why is it that women like to control so much and make life a general misery, A. because they don't have a hobby themselves, grrr.

This one drives me to distraction. Because Mrs RBIT appears to have no interests beyond work/Miss RBIT (up to and including not going out with her friends) I have no bargaining position when there's stuff I want to do.

Andy

Its the subtle things. When I lived alone for a while I almost never watched TV, even when eating in the evening. My other half isn't a TV person, neither am I. Yet now we both watch lots of TV then complain we have done nothing all night.

Here are the things I enjoy when we are separated for Any reason. ...

Shopping for nice meals, cooking them and enjoying them. As and when I want. Not having to guess what's in the fridge, who will be home first and if it will use up something planned for another meal.

Coming home and spending the evening programming, in the garage, the loft our garden or just spontaneously staying in town and gathering friends for beers. None of which are forbidden now but somehow feel wrong when someone is around that you feel you need to entertain somehow.

In many respects I quite enjoy being alone but without these valuable balances I would be a depressed negative wreck fairly soon!

This thread has me wondering why I continue in my pursuit of trying to find a ladyfriend/overlord...

tomhoward - Member

This thread has me wondering why I continue in my pursuit of trying to find a ladyfriend/overlord...
Posted 2 minutes ago # Report-Post

Because what is life without balance, you need the good lady in your life to appreciate the alone time you will get when she is not around.

My list was started and i soon realised after 2 pages that more things bug me when she is around that i had previously though. Not good 😮

This one drives me to distraction. Because Mrs RBIT appears to have no interests beyond work/Miss RBIT (up to and including not going out with her friends) I have no bargaining position when there's stuff I want to do.

Amen to that.

Shoes on the carpet. Man Vs Food marathon. That's as rock and roll as I get.

My wife is remaining on holiday in Poland with our daughter for a month after I return. I'm just going to catch up on things that are hard to concentrate on, cook some meals that she can't eat. For those with partners with no real hobbies, surely it's about free time? Sitting in front of the TV every evening is effectively a hobby. If you're expected to do that then for balance you should be doing one of your hobbies together as well. Or take the more sensible approach that as long as you're both happy then the relationship will be good.

None of which are forbidden now but somehow feel wrong when someone is around that you feel you need to entertain somehow

This has summed up my thread in one hit. Spot on. I've just been out on the road bike, as I do every weekend, but I didn't have that niggling feeling of 'got to get back' after I left. Completely relaxed the whole way round. Mrs Mog doesn't mind me riding at all but I always have that 'need to get home' feeling - don't know why.

Having said all this, just skyped my 2 girls (2&5) and they're coming home tomorrow - WooHoo! Going to shops now to buy their favourite tea.

Agree with Mog just up there - even when she/they don't need me to be back at a certain time, if they are around, I am always conscious that time spent doing my own thing is time I'm not spending with them, even if it does us all good to get away and do our own thing from time to time

Food with nuts in as she is allergic.
Walnuts make cakes awesome, pad thai is amazing, DRY ROASTED PEANUTS, snickers so much better than mars, not having to check curry ingredients.
Otherwise, I'm on a very long leash.

They can go away alone? 😯

Food with nuts in as she is allergic.

Used to be quiche here as my wife is allergic to eggs.

Don't seem to have done it as much recently. Don't know why.

she needs mood lighting.

You can then ask her if she's in "the mood" and when the answer is negative, suggest bright lights are not the problem.

I'm now too house-trained to rebel, though Mrs S has had some training in what are acceptable indoor maintenance activities!