[Closed] What's the funnies thing you've ever seen on a bike ride?

Well there was this one day, me and a mate were out on the singlespeeds round Inners and there were these couple of mincers on meta 5.5s......

On a road bike ride through london, one of the guys I was cycling with had his front wheel go between two planks of wood on some decking. We were just cycling along next to each other, then suddenly he seemed to start to dissapear into the floor.

He ended up all tangled up with most of his bike sticking out of the floor on top of him.

Unfortunately, he managed to get up before I could get my phone out and take a picture. He was fine as well, no damage to him or the bike.

He wouldnt agree, but I thought it was funny.

I saw sonething so funny at SSUK last year at Drumlanrig but can't go into too many details as the culprit frequents this place.......

Oh bugger it I saw some bloke riding with Mary bars and bar ends LOL 🙂

Ok, sheldona wins.

The funniest thing I ever saw on a trail was once on Leith Hill as I rode over the edge of a bombhole at high speed (I think I was actually in the air and dropping in over the lip). The expression of fear and embarrasment on the face of the poor woman who had decided in a moment of very poor judgement that the very bombhole I was riding into was an excellent place in which to hide and curl out a huge shit was an absolute picture.

Luckily I missed her (and her huge shit) by millimetres.

My neighbour in a remote car park with a compromising cucumber and an audience

Saw a bloke back scuttling his lady over a gate on a ride a few years ago. I wished them a hearty "GOOD DAY!" as I passed within about 4 feet of them.

😀 scott_mcavennie2

Once caught a couple at it when i was riding up out of Hayfield, wasn't particularly funny but that's the best i can offer.

Me and three mates were carrying our hangovers up Ben Lomond at 3-4ish in the morning in order to catch the sunrise and ride back down.

Next thing we knew a half blind sheepdog came hurtling down the hill, barking like crazy. We thought it was some sort of feral collie, until the owner came marching down after it in his Y-Fronts, totally oblivious to the cold, the hour of the morning or the four still half drunk bikers gawping at him in fear and awe.

He picked the dog up by the scruff of the neck and carried it back up to his tent which we hadn't seen as it was hidden just over the brow of the hill.

Worst thing was the whole process repeated an hour later when we went back down... 😀

wasnt a ride but at crossroads skatepark two lesbians and one big jockof strap on! and two very intrested mates

I saw sonething so funny at SSUK last year at Drumlanrig but can't go into too many details as the culprit frequents this place.......

Did it involve a carpark and someone elses bike? 😉

Two young ladies with naf all on and a fella with a vid recorder in local woods on a busy sunday morning. Stood and watched for a bit with a couple of old fellas who were already there when I arrived, boggle eyed and salivating!

Saw a couple going at it just beside the BMX track in Avoriaz. Yes, I nearly crashed.

On another ride I warned my sister about a bridge with parallel boards that a bike could get stuck in. She tootles merrily across the middle....Genius all knowing brother proceeds to drift into the slot, slowly go over the handle bars, across the side and into the snow bank down below. Cue much hilarity and "He knew! He knew!...he even knew, He told me! ahahahahah!"

funniest thing i ahve seen on a ride is johnclimber riding with a tractor tyre instead of a front wheel!! Oh how i laughed :ROFL:

AND THEN - telling me that someone else had a similar clown bike 😉

Kevin Dangerous bunnyhopping a squirrel on a downhill

Just finishing a ride on the ridgeway with nickc from here. Stopped for a bit and found in one of the houses near Waltington that it was porn night on the massive widescreen. Made us giggle a bit.

One winter morning we found out the real reason everyone should use SPDs. Waiting at the meeting point up rides Pete in full winter gear and fluffy tartan bedroom slippers.

Yet another on-trail shagging experience, but just a little way further I came up to a police dog handler exercising said dog. Of course I had to stop like a naughty schoolboy and tell The Man that there are a couple having outdoor exercise over there, can he go up and say something along the lines of 'allo, allo' allo, wots going on ere?', and can I watch their reaction. He gently suggested leaving them to it. Spoilsport.

On the same trail a bunch of students dressed appropriately for fantasy gaming. I felt I had to say, "My what a huge weapon" as I rode alongside them.

A man dressed in suit, newspaper rolled under his arm on top of a mountain at least 5 miles from the middle of nowhere. Puzzling.

I must be night riding in the wrong areas, I've never seen any shagging whilst on the bike

it was me really. My mate and I were riding back from a lacrosse game. My mate was of the opinion that it was best to carry the lacrosse stick strapped to one's back to stop it getting stuck in the wheels. I ridiculed him and pointed out the lacrosse head was far too big to get stuck between the spokes.

Not believing me he suggested I was talking out my arse. 'I'll show you then', I responded, and proceeded to jam the lacrosse stick into the front wheel.

Well, I should imagine you can guess what happened next,

On the STW just-post-christmas ride a few years back in ramsbottom, about 40 of us followed a trail which joined the end of a dead-end road. the couple in the solver toyota obviously weren't expecting 40 odd bikers to come past at 11.30am on Dec 27th, but Binners was kind enough to stop and offer to help the lady look for the contact lens she'd dropped in his lap...

Years ago while riding on arthurs seat we found a load of polaroids of some bloke's frontal area.

Also seen quite a few couples in cars on night rides.

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This guy on the Transpennine trail saw me at the end of the water and assumed that I had riden through it so he hit it at full speed, at one point you couldnt see the bike, still managed to stay on

Tracey

I once stuck my front wheel in a axle deep bog on Blackstone Edge, then proceeded to go over the bars and stick my head in the same bog up to my shoulders.

My mate informed me that it was the funniest thing that he had ever seen.

Sadly no photographic evidence exists of this.

Also for alfresco shagging... There is loads of it round our way. I find that the best thing to do is approach by stealth then switch on the lights when you can see the whites of their eyes or the barking spider (depending on which way they are facing).

one of the funniest things i've seen also provided entertainment for none other than sheldona and... er... the other one's other halves.

i'd been riding in nant all week with some friends, all of whom are enthusiastic but not, in all honesty, quite as fit as i am. i had wanted a proper go at the "leg burner" long climb towards the end of the routes, so on the last day we rode it i let my friend go on ahead while i called my girlfriend. once i'd given him a suitable headstart i set off at high speed to see how fast i could catch him and make the top. having gone past the aforementioned other halves, i went round the first corner and found him flat out on the floor on his back with cramp in his legs, so i had to stop! so i got to laugh at him stricken on the floor, and believe that the other halves remarked that i'd huffed and puffed past them and then stopped almost immediately. 😆

Whilst Riding on the local moors with the wife I came accross a bloke wearing high heels, stockings & suspenders and very tight fitting mini skirt 😯 Unfortunately I had forgotten my phone so could not take any pics, but I did give him the fright of his life as he had not heard me riding along 😈 The wife was to busy looking where she was going so did not see him until I pointed him out a little further along the track, cue histerics 😆

Picture the scene: Fat bloke Jason turns up for a night ride in purple silk hareem pants. OK, each to their own etc. As we ride through Hurst Green it starts to rain, ans on the downhill to Lambing Clough the pants, now air tight due to the water, inflate into a giant purple heart with Jason sticking out the top like the stalk. I was too incredulous and helpless with laughter to get a shot 🙁 One could never imagine such a thing were even possible...

i think this is one of the funniest John 😉
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Ah keep it coming folks, I was in a reet ****ed off mood today but this has cheered me up no end
Ta

Funniest thing I've seen was some p*ssed up bloke jogging along the canal bank "sans pants". I can only think he was on a stag do or something. Or a rapist.......!

For such a little chap our John gets about a bit 😉
Pre uber niche bike days

John
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Normal height person
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Maybe not as funny as you guys, but I witnesses Junkyard wheelie'ing into a deep muddy ditch and falling over 🙂

A man walking the same trail naked except for a rucksack - I think it was that guy who said he had a right to ramble naked a couple of years ago?

And, a woman using one of those she-wee things - she looked a bit embarrassed and made some comment about she wasn't expecting someone to come along so quickly.

😆

Caught a couple stark naked at it on the Ridgeway right by Ivinghoe Beacon. The lass was on top and in her hurry to hide her face she bent over the fella giving me a face full.
Not that funny apart from the fact a huge bunch of elderly ramblers were coming round the corner.

bloke used to come out with us occasionally
used to moan about a sore arse ,told him to buy padded shorts as
he used to wear running shorts
so as he knew better he bought a trans-alp saddle the one with the
gap in the middle
he was fit but no technical rider on one windy single track we waited at the bottom for him eventually he came into view kinda lost it then regained control ,then with a shreik ,the kind that buzzards make
he highsided onto the grass we were all lying on
it was then that we noticed an apple a red one in his shorts except
it wasnt an apple it was one of his chubbies that hed managed
to force into the gap on his saddle then rip out again as he flew thru
the air
my how we laughed ,right up to the point that we realised some one
would have to get help and the rest of us would have to get him
somehow to the nearest civilisation
this was in about 1994/5 not seen him since we stuck him in his dads car

I once saw someone use a plastic colander attached with rubber bands as a bike helmet.

mikee,

Are we talking de-gloving or detaching one of his "chubbies" here?

Out on the Cheshire lines,had popped down over the dyke to avoid a gate thing as I popped back up onto the path theres a guy standing there looking most surprised. As I went past him theres his misses squatting in the undergrowth in mid stream. For some reason she tried to pull her knickers up sharpish and fell backwards into the folliage wit legs a kimbo. I was still laughing an hour later

Me and the gf were up at Ashton Court and we're asked by two Chinese girls if the tree we we're under was an oak. We said no, but took them to one nearby. They thanked us and we left. When I looked round one of them had hoiked up her skirt to reveal a lack of undies and her mate was taking a photo of her standing under the oak. No idea what that was all about, some kind of arboreal readers wives?

harry
niether just bruising from forcing one thru a 1/2" wide gap
then pulling it out again 😯

I have been crying with laughter at this thread 😀

so have I, unfortunately my boss is wondering what is so funny in the legal docs I'm meant to be reviewing!

please have some saved up for tomorrow!

I was riding round Queen Elizabeth park one midweek afternoon at about 3pm. As i winched my way round a corner a young lady was squatting by the side of the track . She could have moved about 5 meters away into the trees, but no, shes having a wee right next to the South Downs Way. She spots me pretty quick and quickly pulls up her troos and walks down hte hill toward me. The poor thing was bright red with embasrressment, and she had a very small baby in one of those front loading papoose things that the trendy young uns use.

Not a sh@gging story, but one year whilst doing the SPC we came across a guy playing bagpipes, he was miles from anywhere no idea how he got there, another time my brother and i were just finishing off a day riding the quantocks and we did the ford at the far of the 'tocks he got half wat across and hit a submerged kerbstone and went clean over the bars in the river, it was 5 years ago and i still laugh today about it.Then when we where the lakes big andy and opposed to little andy ,missed the edge of the path, went down the shallow drop landed upside stuck in his spds but after we stopped laughing and freed him we saw that he had ripped a huge hole in the arse of his shorts, but he thought it as a small hole and when returned to the bb he bent over to show the lady of the house and waved everything at her luckily she was nurse and was nonplussed

One for all you Cranham riders.

At the bottom of the Popes wood bridle track (one from the top of the beacon past the back of the Royal William) there was a skin coloured 12" dildo.

It was hilarious, me and my friend could not believe it. I have a picture somewhere but wont post it as its a family site.

On a bridleway in Danbury at about 3pm with all the milfs walking their dogs enjoying the fresh air. I rounded a corner to find a Toyota Hilux parked in the middle of the trail. There was a pair of feet in pink socks pressed against the window and a hairy arse bobbing up and down between them 😆

I was riding alond a creek in late February 2 years ago when, having just ridden around a bend, I noticed a massive hole in the path. It was muddy so I decided to unclip and carefully ride past it. I did, well, unclipped my right foot and put the left one down. You should've seen faces at Wickes 15 mins later where I was buying some bulbs 😀

There was also a couple at it down the alleyway leading from Feltham train station along the tracks to the level crossing. Around 3.30 pm midweek.

A few years back while doing the selkirk merida, my mate says he needs a shit so goes off into the bushes just before the last big climb, so we leave him to it and proceed up the climb, while eating our grub at the top, he comes up over the hill all red faced and tells us he just farted for five minutes, still makes me laugh today and i though my stomach muscles were going to cramp up with laughter at the time.

At Penmachno a few weeks back we were riding up a fireroad climb and encountered two guys fettling with their bikes by the side of the trail. Strangely though, there were three bikes, but seemingly only two riders.

As we looked over and asked if everything was okay, we noticed another rider, no more than six feet away from them and right on the open edge of the treeline, braced over a fallen tree and crimping one off.

We assumed they were all part of the same group 🙂

It followed that after that, every time our group stopped to reassemble, someone would say, "'Scuse me lads..", mime dropping their kecks and squatting to lay a cable. This act continued back to the campsite and into the pub later that evening.

Riding through Trossachs I happened upon a guy getting a BJ off his woman friend.
Right out in the middle of nowhere so it was an agonising few moments for them until I passed by.

I really did laugh out loud.

heading home from the sidlaws one autumn night 2 years ago - dropped down to the carpark by the white farm house.

Mate says - stick lights out ... so we did , rode down the ditch to the carpark like normal and saw the car with light on ......

rode up , lights on ...cue very startled womans head like a rabbit caught in headlights and lots of shrieking

being caught in the middle of no where giving the mr (i presume) a BJ - priceless

it was an agonising few moments for them until I passed by.

She was probably doing it wrong. I don't think it's meant to be like that for the man at least.