[Closed] What is your favourite Strava Segment name?

reverse dutch steamboat.

"Secret singletrack"

Fan e magnet. Apparently it's to do with the number of young ladies on horseback

[i]Showing off outside the pub[/i] is a sprint outside a pub

or [i]ride this on your bloody cx bike[/i] - a rather technical downhill section to foil the KOM baggers

"Lesbo cottage romp"

Rapist tent - Cafal, cwmcarn. Was a random homemade tent on the top of the climb just before it opened.

A few just outside cardiff are good, gammon hangers, dogger dodging and holy shit that was steep.

"makes you want to punch a kitten in the face"

going up to freminton edge.

"stop riding like an anti-social knob through the park"

OP - I thought that sounded like it might be a Partridge quote (I haven't watched any for years), so did a Google.

It is. and there is a whole blog dedicated to the Wilmot line...
http://bestsincewilmotswedding.tumblr.com/

😆

Yep you got me they are Partridge quotes. Segments of my own creation. Want to see if any Swedes pick up on it when they KOM 'You make Pigs smoke'

Excellent Wilmot blog, and I like Gammon Hangers for it's weirdness

Segments of my own creation

So hang on... you started a thread for your favourite segments, which are actually your own?

Bit weird. 😕

I go for quantity rather than quality so my favourite is 'dogshit alley' of which there are many.

I started a thread asking what is your favourite strava segment name. My favorites are my own. Arrogant yes and probably weird too 🙂

Naming Strava segments is akin to naming a rock climb although first ascent/descent is not required. Look up John Redhead's climb names to get inspiration: Cystitus by Proxy; Tormented Ejaculation; Menstrual Gossip; Sexual Salami; Raped by Affection; etc
Let's see some creativity!

There's a brap ya mam that always makes me chuckle when I see it.

Village near me is called Bethlehem, there is a downhill segment on the road from the village called

"Jesus Christ Leaves Bethlehem"

Most of my local ones have pretty boring names - it's all "Montée" this and "Descente" that, or the name of landmarks.

I did set up one called "Cake or Death?" that goes towards a supermarket/boulangerie, and there's "STW climb of near-certain discomfort" that was named during a discussion on here about changing segment names. Not very popular that one, no-one else has ridden it! Possibly put off by the 29% max gradient and the loose rocks.

I like the elegant simplicity of a particularly savage climb near us: "[i]Absolute bastard[/i]".

A few more i thought of.

Kamikaze ferret
Schnitzel fingers
Quimoil
Kungfoo Cookoo

Pretty much all the segments on Afan masts are class, medic, connect 4, loam and away, hovis, vole roll, jitter, jigsaw, kinder...

'KOM = not you'
&
'Threapwood Quarry exit strategy' - which isn't particularly inspiring but it's a nice steep downhill and at one part there are several runs to choose, hence which strategy will you choose.

"10 man train" was a local one who's name was lifted from the local Doggers' carpark nickname!! Sadly it no longer exists, the segment that is, I have no idea about the the Dogger's site, honest!

if you put cnts - strava change it to unicorns

There's one round our way called "I can't believe the way treated David Icke"

"This isn't dangerous, stop flagging" or along those lines, funnily enough on checking it is currently removed again

timb34 - Member
Most of my local ones have pretty boring names - it's all "Montée" this and "Descente" that,

Heh there's poetry in some of the French section names. One next to Murviel called "monté après la descente de l'ornière" links into "Descente des feraliés portage des crabouillés"

Singletracksuit.

'Your clio is shit bruv'

Comrie Croft has a Strava segment for the new red trail, named "Euan's Second Cousin Buys Jam for the First Time". I don't even...

@howsyourdad1

Did you create "Working like a Japanese prisoner of war. But a happy one"?

Always wondered about that segment name

Probably a least favourite is "Proflexforever tw*t" in the Surrey Hills.

It annoys me every time I see it and it used to set of the swear filter when I used to work in a school.

I assume there must be some sort of story behind it otherwise its a pointless and ridiculously short segment.

Check out this segment on Strava: http://app.strava.com/segments/2416078 — Yes. That horse will still have the bigger willy no matter how many KOMs you get 😉

The Swedish Chef - Member

@howsyourdad1

Did you create "Working like a Japanese prisoner of war. But a happy one"?

Always wondered about that segment name

Rumbled.... 🙂

Your Clio is shit bruv , Absolute Bastard and the jam buying one are possible new favourites.

I like the elegant simplicity of a particularly savage climb near us: "Absolute bastard".

There is a "Hell Bank" near me, the climb out of Beely near Chatsworth. It sounds compelling as a challenge but its nothing more that a few miles of 6% gradient road. Certainly not hellish compared to come of the other climbs in the area. I'm sure there is some pre-strava local back story as otherwise the chump who named the climb needs to have a word with him/herself.

Just round the corner there is short little pointless section called "Cock Rings" which would be good if it wasn't the most tenuous and obscure pun ever.

We've got "I Smell Gypsy" near me, I think that's about as good as it gets.

One near me called "The worst journey in the world", the name doesn't accurately some up the road it's on, but I like the fact that the creator knew that Apsley Cherry-Garrard lived nearby.

"Past fat kids house and the pikey fair"

And

"Cox's climbing fandango"

Probably a least favourite is "Proflexforever tw*t" in the Surrey Hills...
I assume there must be some sort of story behind it otherwise its a pointless and ridiculously short segment.

There is and its from this very forum... http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/crashed-on-surrey-hillson-new-section-supernova

There's one near me called " your mum"! I was king of your mum once

'john thomas via prince albert' ... it's a steepish chute that intersects a switch-back making a route that looks like a man's 'gland' on strava if a circuit is done ... 😳

"No thanks I don't want to be part of your sex festival"

Must be another Partridge fan round our way too.

Most creative I've managed is: 'enter my bombhole'.

Col de la Merde du Poulet

I'm quite fond of "PROFLEX FOREVER T WAT" on Pitch Hill

Cwmcarn Caffall has a section called the rapists tent.

[quote=andyrm said]Cwmcarn Caffall has a section called the rapists tent.

See page #1 😉

A few near me.....

On your knees spinney.

Nice cleavage woods.

Up Gaylords passage.

🙂

There's a 'Joss Ackland's Spunky Backpack' somewhere.

Death Bend. It's a sharper than expected bend on an otherwise normal cycle path. Death probably doesn't follow if you take it too quickly.

If I've got the KOM I don't care what it's called, it instantly becomes my favourite 😀

"Those pilots keep the milk cold while the rude lawyer makes the girl cry" is one that keeps popping up on mine

There's one locally called '!regnitS'

It's the same trail, but in the opposite direction, to 'Stinger!'

Got back from a ride last week to find I'd got a pretty impressive 3rd overall on ' Dodge The Smackhead '
which I thought was brilliant.

Most of our local ones are quite prosaic, best we've got are -

Mine's a Pint (leads down to the pub).
Snow Leopard, which then leads into Chilly Kitten and Soggy Moggy.
Bambi's Bonce.

"If your reading this then you owe me inter - underwear relations"

At Glentress, always makes me laugh when I see it on strave

Still waiting to ride with someone called Dave and then on asking where next I can say, F*ck off Dave 😀

surroundedbyhills - Member

"10 man train" was a local one who's name was lifted from the local Doggers' carpark nickname!! Sadly it no longer exists, the segment that is, I have no idea about the the Dogger's site, honest!

yes it does 😉 you just need to miss a little bit out at the start, now called 10.1 man train, can do in a loop with pigs and guns

@jfletch

There is a "Hell Bank" near me, the climb out of Beely near Chatsworth. It sounds compelling as a challenge but its nothing more that a few miles of 6% gradient road. Certainly not hellish compared to come of the other climbs in the area. I'm sure there is some pre-strava local back story as otherwise the chump who named the climb needs to have a word with him/herself.

The woods next to the road is actually called Hellbank Plantation. It's a nice cheeky descent through them on an MTB

'New Pants Please' is a pretty good name up near Ladybower

Proflexforever**** always makes me chuckle. Even more now I am reminded of the backstory.

First rule of proflexforever**** club. You don't talk about proflexforever**** club.

Sh!t B@stard Climb,

Up to the Roman Road in the Peaks makes me Laugh, for about a second before i realise i've got to spin it out up the thing,

Watch Out For Tramps, on my Local Loop.
Make it or break something

The climb past the local crematorium was called 'Bring out yer dead' but it seems to have disappeared 🙁

Reagan Loves c*ck - https://www.strava.com/segments/4771779

Named after someone scribed it into a sign at the top of the segment.

Fannyside road to Slammanamen - "Fannyslam" 😀
Binny hill - "Bin there, done that" 🙂

"Farkin el"on a fast and relatively steep descent and "feel the gurn" for a slow and relatively steep climb are 2 locally that make me smile.

I like this one

"Pedal faster, I hear banjos".

https://app.strava.com/segments/4697600

If you've been to Roman Camps, you'll see why...

Cock hell is a local one And shimpling the best is another.

I had KOM on The Angry Dragon for ages. Sounds innocent until you Google it.

I named one on the Surrey Hills 'Anne Frank' because it was bloody difficult to find once the autumn leaves had fallen.

This Tarmac is disgraceful you should be ashamed Gosforth! Kinda speaks for itself that one.
I did 'mmm......black pudding climb' recently on Wigan.
A regular closer to home is 'devils dip (crappy ghost)' which confuses me.

Climb names still have the edge.

The Tower of Babel at Stoney has the seven deadly sins, greed, sloth etc, finishing in "lust". The next climb on adjacent face is "Lucy Smith". 😆

"The bastard" is a pleasant local uphil segment, and "lucky heather sprint" goes past the local gypsy camp.

Theres one near me called "I Luv French Men's Cock !! .... obviously I avoid using that one ! 😕

Now sadly deleted: "Isogo Police Chase"

I like "Hazardous my arse" which was placed on top of a segment which had been flagged.

What happens if you use the french men's cock one? Do you become French is that why you avoid it?

"Suicide"

&

"Punch it Chewie"

"Suicide"

&

"Punch it Chewie"

Dead Tramp Sprint

"Regan loves c*ck"

Poor lass had a bit of graffiti written by some local youths and is now immortalised in a Strava segment.

[quote howsyourdad1 - Member
What happens if you use the french men's cock one? Do you become French is that why you avoid it?

Its a KOM which I'd not like to claim and then stuck with it 😯