"I bet you can't ride down that" (then point at a 500m sheer drop/cliff, marginally less steep that vertical). My stock answer is usually "It was hard enough riding up it"
I can honestly say that no one's ever said anything like that to me!
Get off the road you *ing *!!!
Get off the path you *ing *!!!
Get orf moi laaaand *ing *er!!!!
I want your babies!!!
When they ask what your bike cost then tell you that you could get one like that for £150 from Halfords.
Heh- a couple of weeks ago on Cavedale at the top Iwas told it was possible and a woman said she was "going to put it on youtube".
We did Ben Lomond at the weekend and there was a lot of similar stuff said.
where's your bell
[i]Oh look, a lycra lout![/i]
Said when I passed some woman at about 1mph, breathing out me arse, climbing the Wrekin.
"Are you Simon f Barnes?" 🙂
"wow, nice bike! How many gears?"
"18"
"Pfft, ha ha, mines got 24" followed by looks of pity.
😆
Mountain bikes cause more erosion than horses you know. My reply? 'At least they don't 5hit all over the road'
Read in a mag some years ago but it is the thing my gran would say
"He keeps his water in that little bag"
you should slow down which usually gets the response: I did - you should learn to share...
Heh- a couple of weeks ago on Cavedale at the top Iwas told it was possible and a woman said she was "going to put it on youtube".
I had a very similar experience when I rode Cavedale a while back.
Chavvy family at top arguing:
"I'm not F'ing walking down there, it's F'ing impossible."
"Oh F*** some guy's just gone down on a F'in bike, he's going to F'in kill himself, come and watch!"
"I'm not F'ing walking down there, it's F'ing impossible.""Oh F*** some guy's just gone down on a F'in bike, he's going to F'in kill himself, come and watch!"
😆
I've had 'are you going to ride down those steps mate?'
It's almost like a challenge. To back out would be to show weakness. The penalty for failure is certainly injury and humiliation, and possibly death...
I remember the gathered crowd when I went down the hill that the hang gliders jump off at Dunstable downs saying he's mad, I also remember I forgot to zip up the camelbak & all the content flying out in front of me 😕
Oh and the scramble back up to retrieve the contents, some of which were in rabbit holes 🙂
the things people say to you when you're on a mtb
are you a roadie then? 🙁
covered in muck during a winter ride a couple of young horse riding ladies greeted me with " my god, you're filthy" they looked a bit shocked when I responded with " Oh yes! and I'm covered in mud 😉 "
'so that's why it's called a push bike'
+1 egf! 🙂
Oh look there's one of those people who likes to get all dressed up.
Not to my face but I was within listening distance 🙄
Oh look there's one of those people who likes to get all dressed up
What where you wearing at the time? Tweed and loafers? 😉
"My god you're sexy. Look, follow me home, we are going have the wildest sex you've ever experienced in your life!"
What a bullshitting bastard he was. It was rubbish.
What a bullshitting bastard he was. It was rubbish.
Sorry, i had forgotten to take my blue pill 😥
slow down you ****
"we're going to do this, take it easy or get off if you want" (points down).
I just follow 'em a little bit slower.
Then they say "I'm pushing this bit"
I Just ride past 'em.
"will you go to the shop for us mate, for some cans like, we'll look after your bike"
lol colnagokid!
"Can I get a lift?"
500 times on the weekend I was riding the West Highland Way, not realising that the Caledonian Challenge was going the other way.
And every single utterance of it was made with the speaker thinking it was entirely original and witty
You lot should try going out on a tandem and see how quickly "she's not pedalling" get's on your tits.
Ooh look, he's all muddy. (In central London on the way home.)
"man check out his bike -its stealth
said by group of young hoodys when riding my dh bike to the local shop
i like that 😆
Look at them! They've all got ........**** ing......... Disc Brakes!
On a STW pootle.
"Nice bike mate. Youre going to have to give it to me. ..... Hey come back here!"
There was a knife involved too 🙁
Had a good one from a granny on Piccadilly this morning, had popped onto the pavement to check the exchange rate and granny ( real old and gnarly looking) said ' you should'nt be on the pavement on a bike you stupid f@@king fool!'...she was right of course. Made my day.
You lot should try going out on a tandem and see how quickly "she's not pedalling" get's on your tits.
Does it? I just always reply "she must be, because I'm not" (occasionally something else, but that's the stock answer).
"Aren't you supposed to be riding that thing?"
From an old lady as I pushed up a hill, I was ashamed.
"Plenty of pedal power today"
From an old guy today, wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, is it a question, a prediction, a comment on the weather, I wasn't sure.
"DID YOU CATCH THEM?!" Bellowed by competitive dad to his son after they had followed our group down some singletrack. Tw*t on so many levels.
[i]How can you ride a bike with such fat tyres?[/i]
Whenever I cycle to work, which is in Roadie/Triathlon Heaven.
"Aren't you supposed to be riding that thing" when i'm pushing up a hill is normaly replied with "It's feeling a bit tired"
"You killed our friend!" Passed on to me by two horse riders as I was stood still waiting for them to pass, turns out a cyclist ran into a horse not long before and the guy had been thrown off and killed (don't know how truthful they were) but then decided to tarnish me and probably everyone with the same brush.
"You've been burning the wood!" By some old lady that confused us until we saw firemen putting a small fire out and realised she had thought we were just riding round the forest starting fires.
I ride a singlespeed so get abuse from everyone even other bikers.
😉
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But i was told that when i was little in my three wheeler
Loading the car this morning...
"this early...!"
"Been for a ride today? Is it muddy?"
Said to me as I loaded 2 bikes plastered with mud onto my car.....ffs what did they think we'd been doing?
"are you lost?"
"How many gears has it got?
27
"Oh, it must be fast"
Why's it only got one gear...is it for going downhill only?
Q: "How far"
A: "No idea, maybe 3hrs"
Q: "How far though"
A: "No idea, but 3hrs so far"
"Oh"
F****** slow down!
I've stopped, it would be difficult for me to go any slower.
You like you are going to have fun on that!
I am!
Most people are pleasant enough but there really are some right knobs out there.
Looking in the back of my car and seeing my Airnimal Chameleon (which has thin Schwalbe Stelvios on) ... "That's a nice mountainbike, I've got one like that"
Usually when climbing i get told by walkers coming the other way "nearly there" or "not much further" to which i like to reply "i doubt it, we've got at least another few hours to go yet"
They always look puzzled 🙄
"You should have a bell" normally just after I've said hello / hi / morning / excuse me. Admitedly aggresive bell ringing is more fun as it does make them jump, but I've grown out of it.
"You should have lights I cant see you" from a woman who pulled along side in her car to give abuse, this was 5mins after sunset last week. No one ever harangs walkers on roads.
"You should have lights I cant see you" from a woman who pulled along side in her car to give abuse, this was 5mins after sunset last week. No one ever harangs walkers on roads.
Someone said that to me once, similar situation, I said:
"Why are you talking to me?"
puzzled look
"You said you can't see me, so why are you talking to me?"
she drove off
But as said above, most people are nice, friendly and curious.
"Here comes another one with an engine".
"it's easy ay, just push one down the other comes up".
Both heard while hauling ar%e around Welsh trails...
A friend was riding through quite a rough estate on the commute home,
a group of youth shout ' Oi mate your wheels are going round' ( 😕 ) to which he replies 'yeah and so's yer mum' pedalling off quite quickly.
(also is south wales)
'Its only another 5 minutes to the top'
Lying %^&*^% 😈
'It was 5 %^&*&^ minutes an hour and a half ago' 😀
After a particularly muddy descent at the long mynd, I said hello to a walker to which she replied "eurgh!".. bit rude I thought, til I got back to the car and noticed my face was entirely covered in mud 😆
"Here comes a spectacular crash": old man to his wife as I'm barreling through a rockgarden towards a plank bridging a 2ft deep puddle. I said, "Maybe," and slammed on the brakes and bimbled across the plank looking like one of those tightrope cycling clowns (that you just don't see enough of nowadays).
His wife was kinder, she told him to shut up cos it might put me off.
I had a farmer come racing across a field in his Landrover once to tell me he'd found a plastic bag on the trail I'd just ridden and therefore it must be mine. I pointed out that my Camelbak was slightly more practical than a Tesco bag.
bit rude I thought, til I got back to the car and noticed my face was entirely covered in mud
I don't think it was the mud, Ton... 😉
& from a little old lady in Reeth today, 'I wish I'd had a bike like that'
Mint.
Today from a little old lady walking her dog :-
"It's so nice to see so many young men out on bicycles" 8)
Everyone who passes me when I'm pushing up a steep hill, always says : shouldn't you be riding that?
Once I got so fed up with the same question, I handed the bike towards a chap and told him to have a go.
"You should have a bell" normally just after I've said hello / hi / morning / excuse me. Admitedly aggresive bell ringing is more fun as it does make them jump, but I've grown out of it.
Get this regularly on the ride to work, I go down a river towpath, A bell even with a single 'ting' regularly made people pretty much jump in the river and have been told the bell was rude, so went to saying 'excuse me', exactly the same effect, and get told to get a bell.. Can't win... Maybe I should get a WW2 air raid siren wired up to a dynamo....
as I was towing my nehpew on a tagalong across a busy main road, trying to turn off it
You should have rung your bell
said the old lady
I've been ringing like a fire alarm
said I, then muttered "maybe you should switch your hearing aid on", as you should always respect your elders
Passed a group of elderly oriental walkers out today on the arse end of the Stour valley, they all stood back and said hello to us as we passed, one shouted excitedly "have a good time" then the last gent came out with the classic "Farrrkin Hell".
carefull its a bit rough down there .
You should hear some of the things people ask you when you're kitesurfing...
Is it fun? <no, punishment>
If you jump up, how do you get down?
Can you control that?
Is it dangerous?
Would you like me to throw it up for you <no thanks, I'd rather not die>
"don't worry... It's all downhill once you get to the top..."
3 different ramblers on 3 different days this week on the same bit of very steep cheeky singletrack.. wierd
[i]I've been ringing like a fire alarm[/i]
He he. this is a great one. The amount of times I've been berated for 'not ringing your bell' when I've been screaming at people at the top of my lungs as I approach them.
Even by people on bikes.
you should be able to jump that gate,ive seen em do it on you tube ya know.
thanks danny
Follow me it's easy..............
.....said to me by a 12'ish year old on shonky old rust heap of a bike with one brake before taking me down a steep, wet, rooty trail which ended with a completely 'hidden' ramp launching you across a 6' wide gully. 😯
He then gave my bike a pitying look, followed by " I'm getting a new bike [i] with gears[/i] for my birthday!
"You should have a bell"
Has said to me as well.
With handle bars fitted with cycle computer, gps and hrm.
My reply has been:- "And where do I fit this bell?"
for which there has been no answer.
As a girl who bikes with a male friend, I usually just get the pitying looks............
After a brill ride at Innerleithen followed by a few chill out beers at a local hotel by Glentress - where we were staying...
"You're too fat to ride a mountain bike down Innerleithen, What sort is it?" said the slightly drunken owner of the hotel.
"An Inbred" I replied, not really taking offense from his previous comment.
"A hardtail! down Innerleithen, you're mad as well as fat then" he replied before staggering away.
.............or the really surprised ones!
In the Alps a couple of years ago from a bemused German walker, "surely you won't be able to ride down there, the trails only a foot wide"
"You're riding this the wrong way"
Its funny how (as a female rider of a group) they always say to me " ooh becareful, it's really dangerous/rocky/steep/slippery up/down there", this is never mentioned to the male members. Yes I know! that's why its called mtbing.
I got told I was "amazing" yesterday by a walker who couldn't believe that anyone would even think about riding a bike on Jacobs Ladder! 😯
Was about half way up the final section on the cobbled bit, still riding (granny ring, winching it along painfully!) and he stood back and muttered "that's a[b]mazing[/b], I'd never a thought a bike could go along this!"
Anyway, about 5m past and I finally stalled and put a foot down and he asked me "how do you do that?"
I said "what, the falling off bit? that's easy!"
Crazy-legs - You are amazing. 😉