About to trade in a Volvo 480 with knackered water pump. Gave it a wash and topped up the oil before going to the dealer. Drove from Doncaster towards Sheffield, pulled off the M1 north and got stopped at the lights on the junction.
Oh, what's that smoke? Hadn't put the oil cap back on. Somehow the cap had fallen off the engine and stuck between the sump and a plastic undertray. The engine bay was quite understandably dripping oil *everywhere*.
Eventually plucked up courage to restart it and drive to the nearest supermarket where I put 4l of oil into it... Didn't make it to the dealership that day!
got drunk and burnt my coat to keep warm
Never has this GIF felt more appropriate:
Posted 3 hours ago
I'm known for my drunken good ideas. As a side note, magic mushrooms were legal to buy over the counter back then.
I'd felt some play in the Maxle on my forks for quite a few rides - the older-style that looked like a QR lever. Thought I'd solve it with brute force and ignorance by tightening it up so it needed more force to close. Promptly snapped the lever clean off. On the summit of Mont Jovet at 2560mtrs.
Held it all together with a strip of velcro and cable ties, which surprisingly lasted not only for the descent that day, but for the remainder of our 2-week hol.
I have, Laurel-and-Hardy-style, stood on the head of a sweeping brush, causing the handle to flip up and fully crack me in the face.
You are Sideshow Bob AICMFP.
You are Sideshow Bob AICMFP
😀
The broom incident was while working in the kitchen at an American summer camp.
Not me, but another member of staff at the same camp. We made Gatorade (from a powder/water mix) in 240 litre bins that sat on little wheeled carts so we could move then around - there was a *lot* of kids and staff at this camp.
Pushing said cart the staff member managed to tip over a full bin, creating a tidal wave of 'fruit punch' flavour Gatorade that flooded the kitchen and a good part of the dining room. It looked like the red sea.
Later that summer a bear broke into the kitchen and raided/destroyed multiple fridges.
Ten mile drive to local loch to try out my new, expensive three piece fly rod. Built it up , gave it a few appreciative flexes and then set it in the open car door against the hinges to don the waders ......cue gust of wind and brand new three piece fly rod is now a pretty crappy five piece..... Much hilarity, but not from me ...
Set myself on fire
Burns really hurt
Still got a ride back in ambo with the blue lights on and and the hospital did a great job with dressings and i managed to keep my incredible good looks
Bike related... took Jase McCs Specialized for a play to Beddgelert early 90s fitted pedals only to realise forgotten spd shoes... shredded an inner tube and tied to pedals... pretty grippy for flats. Bought first set of DX spd pedals late 80s Xmas present off parents opened them Xmas day only one steel backing plate there, fuming got to shop as soon as it opened on 28th... for the guy to slide the two plates apart.. film of oil holding them together..
Typing this in A+E having fainted twice in work this morning, 2nd day in new job ... feel a right dick! And panicking they'll just lay me off!
Riding Monday night at Stile Cop Cannock Chase, hammering down Ridge Run with gusting winds, I pondered just popping the table. Changed my mind and decided to try to clear it = Idiot.
Heavy gust sent me sidewards in the air and crashed hard, just missing the tree. Made a mess of my left arm, bashed my shoulder to the point I can barely change gear in the car and damaged my helmet.
The bike is mostly ok barring a split grip.
Turned up at Bristol airport to fly to Bilbao. Shame our tickets were for Bilbao - Bristol. My fault.
Turned up at Bristol airport to fly to Barcelona. Shame our tickets were for Budapest. Not my fault.
Early 90s at work. My boss had just picked up a new range-topping MTB and offered me a go. I decided the brake cable adjuster needed winding out a bit so grabbed an adjustable and proceeded to back off the weird little hex adjuster while squeezing the lever. Suddenly all this oil came spurting out…
Ride done, bike dismantled put in boot, reversing on full lock, that didn’t feel right? Got out looked and the wheel that was left propped by the near side rear of car was proper mangled and in the process damaged the wheel arch and sill of my new car......
Very expensive oops was that 🙄
I am surprised at the absence of I-Spec confusion stories here. Surely I'm not the only one.
Driving 324 miles to the B&B we'd booked in Innerleithen, only to find out I'd got the date slightly wrong and we'd arrived early. The B&B owners were lovely though - they didn't have a vacant room, but they called around friends in the area who owned cottages and B&Bs and got us sorted for the night.
Or breaking an ankle in the middle of the first lockdown because I was trying to beat my own Strava time. It was a tame uphill bridleway, but the front wheel slipped into a rut and I went over. Rode home nearly 4 miles on a broken ankle, because I hoped that I'd just twisted it. Three months in a cast, followed by 6 weeks in a moon boot. ****.
Got back to the car after a ride, wheels off, frame and front wheel in back of the car, got in, reversed and felt a godawful bump. Got "that" feeling as I realised what I'd done.
Yep, I'd left my lovely 6th element carbon rear wheel propped against the car and had reversed over it. Miraculously, apart from the rotor being all kinds of bent, the wheel survived unscathed with just a light scuff, still running true 6th months later, A testament to the strength of 6th element carbon rims!
My son is experiencing this today as his trainers are in the boot of my car and he has PE.
Last night he and his sister had a fight about who was going to bring in the stuff from the car.
As her trainers are also in the boot I assume that they didn't resolve the situation satisfactorily.
Was out for a recce of a local winter fell race (Marsden to Edale, so not exactly a gentle park run). Realised I got to the start of the recce point and left my fell shoes at home about an hours drive away. So ran the entire recce, about 2 hours up on to Bleaklow and back, in a pair of white Adidas Sambas. The Park ranger we came across on the Pennine Way gave me a somewhat stern look of “WTF are you doing up here in winter in those”.
Went for an after work ride in the North York Moors, about 45 min drive. Got there, got changed, went to get my bike out of the boot, realised I had left my bike at work. It was a Friday so I had to go to work on Saturday and get security to let me in so I didn't miss a bank holiday weekend of riding.
Not exactly stupidity... But kinda.
Back in the late 90s I was doing a degree in animation. Spent all day hunched over a rostrum camera, then went for a well earned pint and game of pool in the students union. Parts of what happened next are a complete blur, others are vivid to this day.
I bent over the table to take a shot and felt something 'ping' in my back. Apparently I went completely white, then went off to the toilet. The next thing I remember is sitting on the throne in absolute agony, unable to stand up and asking myself why on earth I'd gone to the toilet.
Somehow managed to prise myself up, out the door and back to the union, where I picked up my (first) pint and tried to act like everything was fine. 'Cos no one likes a fuss right?
Cue very concerned friends and bar staff asking what was wrong, and me pretty much uncapable of speech I was in so much pain.
Ended up being ambulanced to A&E, pumped full of industrial painkillers (what's it called when they inject your spine?) and a good week of being incapable of moving any further than the sofa.
No lasting damage, though I've had recurring back troubles and had to be quite careful about exercise and stretching.
honourablegeorge
Full Member
Didn’t affect me as such, but I do remember that feeling when my mate took his bike out of his van, with the forks I’d just serviced for him, and I spotted the crown was back to front.
Saw a bloke out on course at Clic24 with a brand new fox fork fitted...backwards.
He told me it was "what the pro's did"
Obviously! 🤣
Left a saddle and seatpost on the pavement the road outside my house when packing car...gone
Destroyed a crank and crank tool by forgetting it was a square taper crank and an octalink tool (rushing)
Forgot to depressurise a lower leg of a magura fork with a leaking positive chamber and blew the innards into orbit (seemingly) and my glasses off my head
I took the time on Friday to swap the wheels on my gravel bike, tubeless set up, clean, lube etc.
Quick ride to the shop half cut and I remember thinking 'these brakes don't feel too powerful'
Next morning morning at 5.30am, wheeled bike out for a proper ride, only to realise I had forgotten to swap the rear brake disc onto the new wheel.
I once left some (slightly) radioactive samples from my lab in a bank. In a large box with radioactive stickers on it. On September the 12th (yes, that 12th). Police weren't amused.
I also have reversed over my own front wheel twice (two different wheels, not twice over same wheel, that would be stupid).
Aged 14 I thought "what will happen if I hold this camera flash up to my eye and set it off". So I did. What happened is I went temporarily blind then, after about 20 minutes, only green came back. Felt like such an idiot that I didn't tell anyone. Took a couple of days for full vision to come back.
Those are just the ones that spring to mind, there are many many more.
Changed the brake pads on my Shaguar. Spent ages looking for the locking wheel nut until the awful realisation that I had left it on the nut and it must have flown off driving along. A week of frustration with various chisels and sockets ensued 😡
Seeing I like Food’s one about the camera flash, we were sitting outside the pub near the office one evening, and the guvnor brought out some single use 35mm cameras left over from Christmas parties (would have been 15 years ago perhaps). I wanted to look at the guts of it but after a few beers you forget about the flash. Might only be a single AA battery to power it but the voltage step up gives you quite a belt when drunken fingers complete the circuit.
An old mate of mine...wife is away so he decides to make pease pudding - split peas in muslin bag in pressure cooker with lid on.
Timer goes off so he opens pressure cooker without releasing the steam pressure; the contents erupted all over the kitchen like Vesuvius.
Major clean-up and redecoration after that one.
Aged about 14, tried to cut a hilti nailgun cartridge in half using a hacksaw. Needless to say I discovered why that isn't a very good idea.
Actually that was more a sudden realization than a sinking one.
I've still got loads of these cartridges in the workshop, though I sold the gun ages ago. Keep them around as still looking for a use for them, a fun use that is. Lesson learned from previous experience ?.
Nope.
Remembered another one. Had a car windscreen replaced due to crack. After it was changed I needed new windscreen wipers as the old ones get worn to the screen.
Pulled wipers up, removed old blades (leaving just the metal bit) and then twang. The metal bit snapped down on the screen and cracked it.
I always put the carboard box from the new blades on the screen now.
Have just fitted the front wheel to my Whyte the wrong way around, went to check the brakes and strangely enough, the front does nothing. Fitted it the correct way around and obviously, since they're Sram, the lever is now jammed solid. I foresee hours of my time trying to coax the pads back and bleed them to some semblance of feel stability.
Many years ago, late 90's i was upgrading from a steel road frame to a nice new lightweight alloy Principia. I was transferring over the groupset myself. Fitting the down tube cable stops onto the bosses i encountered trouble. The drive side stop, secured with an allen bolt, would just not nip up tight and kept spinning, albeit with a gentle amount of force. After about six extra turns i stopped and took stock. The heart stopping moment was when i realised i had pulled the opposite non drive side stop into the downtube denting it. The two bosses were connected through the downtube not just brazed on like my old steel frame.
Left my gloves behind after the MNPR last night.
Retrieved said gloves at lunchtime.
1 hour and 20 miles worth of fuel that I won't see again.
Not me but my genes, I had been busy bodging as I had left duct tape lying around, my son jumps into the living room, flying karate kick, shouting look at me I'm a ninja, wrapping duct tape around his head to make a headband.
I was in hysterics, poor fool didn't realise how well it sticks, finally got it off about an hour later with half his scalp heating it up with a hair dryer to loosen the goo.
Still laugh about it and was about 7 years ago, if your gonna be dumb you better be tough.
Have you ever wondered what’s in a golf ball. 40 years ago me and my mate cut the outer shell off and spent what’s seemed like hours unravelling miles of elastic band type stuff. Ended up with a small marble type centre. “What’s in here?” my mate said and proceeded to cut into with a craft knife. A jet of white paint shot out and hit him in the face, he was covered in the stuff and his silhouette was outlined on the kitchen wall. One of the funniest things I have ever seen even though he couldn’t see properly for a few days.
Sorry, just returning to this,
...it was “what the pro’s did”
This is George Hincapie's MTB from back in the day. Don't get much more pro than George!
A lovely new set of wheels arrived from Hunt today. After a bit of a struggle the tyres and Rimpact inserts went on. Tubeless jizz went in and they inflated first time with no drama...great. Then on went a new set of brake rotors....perfect.
Finally, I carefully slid the cassette sprockets onto the freehub, tightened the lockring and it just span. I somehow managed to strip the threads with barely any torque. Luckily it looks like it’s just the lockring that’s damaged and not the freehub.
I’m hoping a mate or a local shop will have a 12 speed lockring in the spares bin. Very annoying!
Many moons ago during my miss spent youth my then girlfriend (now wife) and I bought our first house. As you do we decided to re decorate so after a trip to B&Q all the paint was acquired to do the ceilings, walls and skirting boards. First job was to re paint the front room ceiling. I was working mornings so got home before the good lady and thought I’d get into her good books by making a start before she returned from her work. “I’ll just have a quick joint before I start though”
Now suitably stoned I made a start. Poured out the white paint into the tray.
“Bit thick” I thought as I started to use the roller but carried on regardless.
“Wow, what a difference it’s making.”
I managed to do half of it when she came in from work, looked at the ceiling and stopped dead in her tracks.
“What are you doing?”
What does it look like I’m doing, I’ve made a start on painting the ceiling”
Your painting it with gloss...”
Moral of the story? Don’t do drugs then start diy kids.
Just a little one but was riding at laggan today, thought I'd pop over the road and do some of the brown as I still had a little bit of leg left. Popped back to car to change my gloves, accidentally got changed and packed the bike into the car.
Started pissing down 5 minutes later so it worked out OK but I mean really brain?
Have you ever wondered what’s in a golf ball.
+1 me and a mate had the same thought- got the outer layer off and had the mass of elastic in the vice to cut it in half to see what was in the centre. It shot out the vice, bounced around the garage dislodging tins of screws etc. We called it quits there so never got to find out what was in the centre, until today!
Was working in the city around 2000/01. On the Friday after work we went out for a few drinks once work was done for the week, I was heading to Peterborough for the weekend so jumped on the GNER service in the evening,
Got on fine then I dozed off, Got woken up around 5 hours later by a women with a Scottish accent telling me this was the end of the line, Get on the platform and see Edinburgh Waverley then my heart sunk.
Ended up on a National Express to London the next morning as the train return was too expensive...
Often had that waking moment on a train but it's always been my stop or one before. But living in Reading and getting the train back from Paddington, the gamble was always an unexpected journey to Penzance
Unlike my sister's college friend, who got a train back from Godalming to Guildford yesterday evening after a rehearsal. It's a 7 minute journey but she fell asleep and woke up in Waterloo having slept through multiple stops on the way. Drama students! Not even old enough to drink yet!
Not me, but I used to work with a Czech girl who on a trip home had gone to a boozy lunch with some friends, and hopped on a train back to her parents. She woke up several hours later having crossed 2 countries and woke up in Budapest. Don’t drunken sleep on the continent, kids!
I absolutely mastered sleeping on the bus on my old commute, but just once, I was properly asleep and ended up at the terminus. No worries I thought, I'll just jump on the return bus. Called my boss, sorry, I'll be 15 minutes late, 30 tops.
Jumped on the wrong bus, fell asleep again, woke up about 2 hours away at that bus's terminus. Got a taxi from there, got to work at about lunchtime.
Arrived at campsite after hellish 8 hour drive to Yorkshire for a weekend of watching the 2014 Grand Depart + some cycling. Open boot, realise the only footwear I have is the smart black work shoes I was wearing at work earlier in the day...
Fresh off the press -literally half an hour ago this one. I bought some of those Polaris shorts with braces and non-abrasion resistant arse fabric. The inevitable has happened, big hole in the bum but I like them so bought some iron-on repair fabric to patch over the seat. I've only managed to attach the patch to the tea-towel that you put over while ironing. Must be supposed to go on the INSIDE! 🤦♂️
