I feel that picture can’t be too far away now 🙂
What, this picture?
I once drove from then home in Newcastle to Mayhem in Sandwell, stopped to pick up a mate near Nottingham and found I'd left my wheels at home!
+1 for the roof box / multi storey carpark roof combo.i did a circuit with it crashing into every air duct..thinking 'what the heck is all that banging'
+1 for the Thu axle left at home, you only do that once, now it goes straight back in the fork
+1 for front wheel left at home, didn't get all the way to the trail that time...had a 'left the gas on' feeling and turned back, I knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what it was til I got home.
Phone on car roof when loading bikes up (why does that seem a good idea)
Had a friend who put his surfboard on the car roof and forgot to tie it down. It would have survived just coming off the roof...but the car behind...luckily no damage to cars or people
Turned up at a 50 mile Charity ride and had left my spd shoes at home. Luckily lived relatively close that I could drive home collect said shoes and get back to the start line in time. Luckily there were no speed cameras around...
Driven 70 odd miles to the start of a Ridgeway ride, went to the loo and as I walked back to the car the slow realisation that I'd left the keys to the padlock at home. New Kryptonite chain and lock. Ended up driving to Avebury to see the stones with the wife and the bike safely locked in the car. Spare key is now on the car keyring.
Many years ago some friends asked if I would put a picket fence around their front garden. I rocked up one Saturday morning in the van with all the posts, rails and uprights parked up on the grass and got cracking. Later that afternoon, fence finished and all tool back in the van I announced that I was finished and was off home only to realise I’d fenced my van in the garden. Fortunately there was, once the pickets and rails had been removed, a gap just big enough for me to drive the van through with just mm’s to spare. I can safely say I’ve never done this since!😀
Had a friend who put his surfboard on the car roof and forgot to tie it down. It would have survived just coming off the roof…but the car behind…luckily no damage to cars or people
I remember a ride once with the OP - up Hollingsworth Lake way i think? - where @binners got home, got out of the car and said "I'm sure I put two bikes on the rack before we set off"
He had.
Leaving my brand new nice cut/puncture resistant work gloves in the house when getting some wood delivered as I was rushing. Thought, naaa that will be fine.
Cue me trying to juggle too much and my hand slipping. Then ending up having to pull out a 20mm long toothpick thickness splinter that buried itself fully into my hand web going between my knuckles...
I will be wearing gloves in the future as it brought a tear to my eye pulling it out 😢
Also me.
I was driving me and a few people to White Room. All nice and easily planned, me and a mate from the shire drove across with all our gear to pick up @maxtorque at his house in Northampton. We had some leisurely food and we're ready to set off for an easy drove down to the tunnel. Final checks bikes, kit, clothes, passport ... Ah shit!
Jump in the car, high tail it back to Shrewsbury pick up passport, high-speed all the way to the tunnel, made it with minutes to spare at the back end of the 2 hour window on the booking. Looking back from the car it was like something out of back to he future with flames down the tyre tracks. Not lived that one down.
er, i believe i casually joked "and of course we've all got our passports" at which mrhoppy went initally very quiet and then swore a lot!
Still setting off for the south of france by turning north up the M1 is character building right...... 😉
Later that afternoon, fence finished and all tool back in the van I announced that I was finished and was off home only to realise I’d fenced my van in the garden.
This wins, surely.
@joshvegas Finally 😀
I had it all queued up as soon as I saw the thread waiting for some one to set it up...
I believe on one of the early mleh rides, treemagnet forgot his helmet, bought another at skyline cycles and then left that on the roof of his car never to be seen again.
Stopped off at Lagan Wolftrax on the way to Aviemore to get my stag weekend started. Had SPDs on the bike at the time. Forgot to take my shoes with me. Didn’t fancy pedalling around Lagan tottering on SPD pedals. The nice guys in the bike shop saved the day by lending me some flat pedals from the spares bin.
Once upon a time was eating chewing gum, spat remains out van window along with my teeth and didn't realise until twenty miles later.
Nothing bike related springs to mind. I have a very expensive prescription and had just bought a new pair of frames. On the train to Manchester after picking up said expensive specs in Huddersfield I read a book. As we pulled in to Victoria station I took off my three hour old glasses and put them on the table whilst I got ready to disembark. As I watched the train pulling away I realised what I’d done. No glasses for a month whilst I saved for a new pair.
I once locked myself out of my house when drunk. My lovely neighbour, who was a joiner, came out in the early hours and started dismantling the lock. My friend asked me if I’d checked my inside pocket. The keys were there so in celebration I immediately attempted to spin them around my finger and launched them down the drain that was about three feet from my door.
in celebration I immediately attempted to spin them around my finger and launched them down the drain that was about three feet from my door.
You live in a sitcom and I claim my five pounds.
This wins, surely.
I think that I went beyond idiocy into the next level of utter stupidity!!
Broke a chain earlier this year so flipped the bike over to mend it (not quick link) and was happy about repairing it until I realised my chain routing was rather unusual.
Drove 30 miles out to a time trial in the early 90's. Both bikes on the roof, but always had a small cable lock through, just in case the fork mount came loose. Got there, where is the bloody key ?
Pockets out, everything, then spotted the key had slid into the rain gutter (Mk2 Escort). Phew.
New job as a fresh-faced youngster.
A few weeks in they want to send me to L.A. to Do Important Stuff (aka: client demands bums on seats and all the older guys are bored to tears with schlepping out there).
Due to fly out very early Tuesday morning following a Bank Holiday Monday. Monday comes, and I'm packing my bag, quick check of all my bits and bobs and, oh, hold on, this passport has expired, hasn't it?
Ringing my boss up on BH Monday to deliver this news was quite uncomfortable, to say the least.
Sat hungover on Christmas Eve for over an hour attempting to put the left pedal on to my daughters bike for Christmas swearing that they’d not threaded it correctly.
I vaguely wondered what it would feel like to point the jet wash at my finger.
In the split second it took my brain to activate I'd drilled a hole in my fingertip and partially inflated it.
I once bought a Citroen ZX privately. Drove away in it a realised they had left a car starting booster pack on the back seat. I kindly returned it to them before breaking down on the hard shoulder on the way home
This is a great thread. 🙂
Not bike-related but I glassed myself in the face once, if that counts?
I gave a friend a lift to Glentress once (from Lancaster). Met up and as she was loading her bike from her car into mine, she realised she'd left her wheels at home. No probs, she phoned a mate who only lived a couple of miles away to borrow his wheels and after a brief delay we were all sorted.
On the motorway heading up to GT and relating stories of things we'd lost/forgotten etc, I said I'd once turned up to a race with one shoe.
She went very quiet, looked at me and said "I've forgotten my shoes".
Had to stop in Peebles and she bought: new shoes, flat pedals and new disc rotors (the ones on the wheels she'd borrowed were the wrong size).
Drove out of GT at the end of the day having checked very carefully around the car for any missing bits, asked if she was sure she had everything. Absolutely.
Half way down the motorway she realised she'd left her helmet in the cafe. A very expensive trip out!
Went to meet a mate for a night ride at Hamsterley forest and just as I was getting there I'd remembered I'd left my lights on charge back in the office.
Luckily he had a cheap headtorch as an emergency backup that I was able to borrow. But it was about as bright as those old Eveready bike lights from the 80's.
In a previous role I was responsible for the forecasting of a chemical purchase, that I then gave to the purchasing team to place the orders for. It was a complex deal, we had to issue a 3 month rolling forecast of which the current month was converted to an order. M1 was flexible by +/- 10%, M2 by +/- 25% and M3 +/- 50%. As each month passed you could amend the forecast within the +/- but it also became that bit more fixed.
So it was complex, but not impossible.
Coupled to this, at various annual volumes we got a rebate on our purchase price.
Unfortunately I made an error 3 months out, didn't spot and correct the next month, so by M1 when I tried to up the volume the supplier was ready and refused to accept the increased forecast. We fell about 400kg short of a 1000Te break point and as a consequence missed an additional €0.1/kg rebate.
That's €100K for a simple calc error.
Boss shrugged his shoulders; it was a US company and he'd had a former life forecasting and supplying fuel to the USAF in the first Gulf War in Kuwait. He said in comparison to having to tell some officer that there wasn't enough fuel to be able to fly an air support mission to extract some troops..... he wasn't going to get overly stressed about it.
Pressing bearings in to the rocker link of my stumpy, With a threaded bar improvised press. They weren't seating so gave it a nip, still not so another nip and another....then noticed I wasn't tightening against the back of the bearing seat I was putting the new bearing in but the one on the other side of the rocker. Both bearing seats were now set a subtly different but nevertheless jaunty angles. Happily the new rocker came with bearings installed.
25 mile ride on Dartmoor several years ago, arrived and realised I’d left my brother’s saddle/seat post on the wall of my garden. He had mine and I spent a bloody long time standing up on the pedals.
Lesson learned.
Not as bad as some of these but:
1) punctured 15km into a 28km Lakes route on my fat bike, to realise I only had a narrow 26” tube in my rucksack. As much as you think it’ll fill the tube it didn’t.
2) punctured (a theme here) half way round Cragg Quarry, after doing all the climbing, at the furthest point from the car. Went to stick a tube in abs my pump that had been in the rucksack for years unused had rusted internally and didn’t work. It was getting dark and I had to walk all the way round the second half of Cragg, down the fun cross moors trail and through Cragg. My Nokia phone with the best battery life ever had died and my GF was getting worried. The right pedal pins smashed into my calf for most of the walk and my leg was full of holes when I got back to the car.
Not a great day.
Camping with some mates in Wales. All the bikes locked up together in the van.
Set off to ride up Cadair Idris, about 40 minutes from the campsite.
Arrive and start to get ready, go to get the bikes out. Yep, keys to the padlock are in my tent... 🙄
Lovely hot day in the lake District, running jump off torver jetty into coniston water. Realised too late that my week old -£250- varifocals are (or were) pushed up on the top of my head....
@Binners do you want me to see if your axle is still there? I’m Keswick based, PM the details if you like.
Tom
First time out the office on operations.
Spent 8weeks in a west African dictatorship getting a multi entry isa the only way you can..... Passport stuck in an office for weeks on end and you can't leave.
Get home.
Chuck everything in the wash
Pull out ...... PLOP passport hits the floor.
The thought of another 8 week trip was horrific.
Every single visa washed out. Except that one. ....
Very tense arrival but waved straight on through on a very dog eared passport.
Ended up traveling for 3 more years on that passport before the Dutch took interest in it and I had to get it changed.
Blocked sink so take off the waste trap. Need somewhere to pour away the junk in the waste trap so pour it down the sink which now has no waste trap!
Oh I'm amongst friends here 😉
- on a straight head tube somehow fitted the top and bottom bearings the wrong way round. Worse still didn't notice until some kindly soul pointed out the cause of the knocking.
- Forgot everything. Wheels, Axles, seat posts, pedals, shoes... and once a mate I'd promised to pick up. To drive to Scotland.
- Extremely hungover on a boxing day Gap ride forgot my helmet. Ended up with buying the only helmet from the only shop open in Crickhowell. Which was a kids helmet. Luckily the dog ate it a few days later.
- Spent two 12 hour shifts making copies of a master floppy disc.- remember those? - only to find I'd put the master in the copy drive. I didn't really enjoy that job anyway 😉
- Thought I'd booked a plane ticket to San Jose, California, but somehow ended up in San Jose (I think it was a long time ago) in central america and being robustly interviewed by gun toting drugs officers. They genuinely could not believe I'd been so stupid. Luckily I was able to convince them that I was in fact an idiot.
There are so many more. I like to think it of learning life skills. If I actually learned anything...
Got home Christmas Eve many years ago from a VERY boozy lads Beano to our newly finished renovation project cottage. Last job before the whole family comes round for the grand unveiling and a slap up Xmas dinner is to put up the curtain above the front door.
Mrs S "darling, would you mind awfully popping up that curtain pole"
Me "I think my liver is broken"
Mrs S "it's a two second job you lazy arse get it done"
me "I'd rather just curl up in a ball and die if you don't mind"
Mrs S "GET THE ****ING CURTAIN POLE UP!"
Me "yes dear"
I wobble up the steps and make the first unsteady probe with the masonry drill. At which moment there is a loud POP! and all the lights go out.
Me "**** my life"
Blocked sink so take off the waste trap. Need somewhere to pour away the junk in the waste trap so pour it down the sink which now has no waste trap!
Fitted a new bathroom one bank holiday weekend with a mate, him “taps are working on the bath mate”, me, “oh, did you do the waste already?”, him “oh, shiiiiit”
Next weekend spent replastering the ceiling below the bathroom.
Was building up a brand new Kinesis Tripster a few years ago. One of the last jobs was to cut the fork steerer.
I was now kind of rushing and wanting to take it for a spin.
Quick measure of steerer.
You know the old adage of measure twice cut once... well i didnt do that and cut it too short.
Where do I start...
1) French motorway, 4 bikes on the roof, Peage, restricted height lane. You know the rest.
2) Drove from Manchester to Hawes early for a ride. Put the front wheel in, pushed the bike forward and squeezed the front brake just as I remembered that I'd forgotten to put the new brake pads in. Instantly I heard the locating pin (old school Hayes Nine's) snap off the piston as it hit the disk. Turn around & drive home.
3) Persuading a seized bearing out with a hammer & chisel. Bearing exploded and a fragment of metal embedded itself in my eye. Cue a trip to the eye hospital to have debris cleaned out with a needle.
4) Helping my dad lash some sheet timber to the roof bars of the car, only to discover that we'd roped the car doors shut.
5) Not me this time, but in the 80's my uncle used to be a director of a shipping brokers in London that had recently taken on a new bulk carrier. The original crew had just been replaced by a new Greek team, and after an apparent breakdown in communications, the team in London received a rather embarrassing message to say that 2 days after setting off from Portsmouth en-route to St Petersburg in Russia, it became clear that they had actually set a course to St Petersburg in Florida.
I remember a ride once with the OP – up Hollingsworth Lake way i think? – where @binners got home, got out of the car and said “I’m sure I put two bikes on the rack before we set off”
He had.
Oh god! That was one of the most ill-advised ‘WTF are we doing?’ Rides ever. Bonfire night up at Rivi in torrential rain and life-threatening gale force winds.
Drove back in howling winds and as we got to the end of the M60, looked in the mirror and realised we were a bike short.
Immediately phoned the police and I was told that it had been run over by an artic and there was nothing left of it.
Thankfully (for me) Jo had put her own bike (Stumpjumper) on the rack, not me, so it wasn’t really my fault. Still felt really, really bad about it though
I've asked a lady on a treadmill when the baby's due: "I'm not pregnant"
&
So sir, will you be coming along with your mother: "she's my wife"
🙊
1. Managed to put one of the conical springs from the front QR in the wrong way round so the front wheel wouldn't sit properly. Thought I'd broken something in transit (southern Spain, flight bag had been damaged on the way out). Very miserable until local bike shop took a look, and grinned and pointed.
2. Left prescription riding glasses at home, found this out at the meeting point an hour's drive away from home. My regular prescription glasses weren't at all suitable for cycling with.
3. Left both pedals at home, finding this out after 2 days travel to southern Spain. Fortunately local bike shop were able to sell me new pedals and shoes.
4. A week long trip to the TdF in the Pyrenees cycling to a different place every night with luggage support. Discovered that I had only taken one cycling jersey for 5 days, and it was one of the early rapha nice and warm smartwool jerseys.
Not really our fault:
Helping mate rewire a couple of rooms, dead easy as stripped back to brick.
Check power off, yes. Sure? Back down to basement all switches off and pulled the fuses to be sure. Back upstairs. Absolutely sure? Back down to basement check, look for other sources, make sure, yep all off. Back upstairs.
Start on first plug, sizeable pop and a quick superman across the room.
Turns out that plug was wired into a different ring, well, next doors ring to be exact.
