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Friday afternoon and I'm bored, need some entertainment. I'll start with this one, maybe we can vote the funniest one later
Here's a couple (stolen from the web)to start
The other day on a ride, I was speeding down a fast, twisting, mountain fireroad. Approaching a corner I shot past a couple of hikers.
"PIG! they yelled at me. "PIG!!"
I flipped themm the finger and shouted back some things I dare not repeat as I buzzed by, took the corner pretty fast and promptly smashed into a pig.
A man in a Vancouver bike shop asks to buy one pedal from a set. The new young employee tells him that they sell only the whole set as one
however the man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager "Some stupid **** wants to buy one pedal"
As he finished his sentence he noticed the man standing right behind him, so he added "and this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the
other one" The Manager approved the deal, the man bought his pedal and left. Later the manager said "I was impressed with the way you dealt with that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Whistler, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Whistler?" the manager asked. The boy said,
"Sir, there's nothing but dirty women and mountain bikers
up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Whistler."
"No kidding?" replied the boy. "What bike does she ride?"
How many dirt jumpers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but it'll take him a couple of attempts.
A group of mud covered mountain bikers are stood outside a pub in the Dales after a long ride. Suddenly a stranger turns up on a Jones Ti Singlespeed, leans it on a wall and walks past them towards the beer garden.
"Nice bike mate!" shouts one of the filthy bikers, "i've seen a few pics of those on singletrack, but never in the real world. How come you got one of those?"
The bloke stops and simply replies "because i'm a right c*nt"
A group of mud covered mountain bikers are stood outside a pub in the Dales after a long ride. Suddenly a stranger turns up on a Jones Ti Singlespeed, leans it on a wall and walks past them towards the beer garden."Nice bike mate!" shouts one of the filthy bikers, "i've seen a few pics of those on singletrack, but never in the real world. How come you got one of those?"
The bloke stops and simply replies "because i'm a right c*nt"
LMAO!!
x2 ^^^^^
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=singletrackworld
The typical singtrackworld member can usually be spotted in trail centre carparks standing beside their Audi, loudly boasting about the three foot drop they "nailed" with ease thanks to their new £5000 6inch all mountain bike, or how they "smoked some downhillers" whilst riding their rigid on-one wearing a blindfold on the black route.
A mountain biker, a priest and a rabbi walk into a pub.
The barmaid says, "Right. What is this, a joke?"