[Closed] Some people are so xxxxxxx ungrateful...2nd hand bike content

Hard call, when I first got into biking I bought a very shiny red hardrock pro for £450 in the Evans sale, too me it was expensive but it looked beautiful and worth it, at that time I didn't really appreciate what went into bikes and would have picked the shiny new red bike any day over something second hand (prior to buying said red bike my spare money went on Karen Millen dresses, heels and makeup and yes I'm a girl 😀 ) now however I would pick the Canyon in the picture anyday, but only cause I now appreciate £450 doesn't get you that much new... (my suntour fork seized within 2 months and the wheels lasted 4 months, it was quite the eye opening world of endless bike purchases...) If you can get her somewhere where she can ride the bike and compare it with a basic hardtail from a hire centre. That will hopefully show her it's not all about looks!

prior to buying said red bike my spare money went on Karen Millen dresses, heels and makeup and yes I'm a girl

Wow.

So you built her a bike, with "worn tyres and drivetrain", because you thought you knew better than she did what she actually wanted. This is Extreme Mansplaining.

I hope she reads the derogatory and disrespectful things you've said about her on this thread. Some "friend".

I've sold frames and parts to 2 friends, and ended up building their 'new' bike up for them, both of them now appreciate that they have a bike that actually fits them, and generally runs well. One mate (lazy sod) had a problem with rear mech, no sure what had happened, but I sorted it in 10 mins and he's now over the moon with it, and will actually ride again after being on a bike way too small for about 3 years. He's lazy as s**t, and won't read up on anything, so I help him out, but it's in my interest a bit, as I do get a bit bored of riding on my own from time to time, so am glad to have him along.

The other mate is more switched on, will ask advice, but will go to LBS before me, and doesn't expect any freebies. He only used to commute on a shed, but we've now cobbled together a pretty reasonable bike, he was quicker than me on the descents (and the bike soaked it all up) at N-Y-A recently anyway, and my bike has cost FAR more than his 🙄

So, it doesn't always end badly, and they're good enough mates that if they moan about anything, I'll just tell them to piss off and they won't get offended!

Was in a fairly LBS today and saw numerous Spesh ladies hardtails for circa £450, but they had very average kit on them, and would be nowhere near as good as what the OP has built on proper trails.

I think you're friend's being a tad harsh, but I bet a bit of finesse with the bike you've built would have swung it the other way. Some new grips, a seatpost, headset spacers, wouldn't cost much and might have swung it the other way, it still might. You could do all the above for £25, plus put those matching size tyres on, scrub them clean, and give the whole thing a good clean/shine. I bet she'd look differently at it then.

Looks like a nice bike to me. I'd be tempted to make you an offer but I've got enough bikes in my life.

OP. You don't listen to her, she doesn't like what you've done for her. Sounds like you're already married! 😀

I would call a halt to it all and ask for the bike back. She's not 'friend' enough to trust you and wants to get it valued, does she think that you're ripping her off then?

Mixing friends and money rarely ends well.

Mah, spec looks over £400 and as long as drivetrain is running smoothly is it really going to be valued at under £400, I doubt it.

Seems a bit of an insult to take it to be valued though. Worst case flog it on here, sure you could recoup your losses.

(BTW did anyone do the "She's go some Nerve" gag yet?)

This happens wherever hobby geeks and mainstream consumer culture collide. Women must get sick of it

"IPod you say, dear? Tsk. What you need is a Thorens turntable and custom tone arm, connected to this amp I'll make for you using these old valves I've sourced from old Soviet military radios. What's that? You can't listen to it on the bus? Well screw you then, ungrateful, know-nothing little minx."

"Camera you say, dear? Nikon Coolpix? Ha. You need this Leica M5 and an assortment of Zeiss lenses, each worth more than a family hatchback. What do you mean you don't understand about f-stops and white balance and just want to take some snaps of the kids? Pah. I give up."

Etc

🙄

Again, you can't do these things and expect ANYTHING back. You were expecting she was eternally grateful to you, and coveted the bike for years, thinking off you every time she rode it. She was expecting you to spend 15 minutes squirting a can of WD40 at it.

Manage the expectations. Don't do favors and expect anything in return, except perhaps grief.

Yes and no. I wasn't expecting anything back, I was just doing a favour for a friend. My only expectation was that she was going to use it for a bit and enjoy it as she apparently didn't have the cash to buy a new one. What I wasn't expecting was for the work to be for naught.

I suppose on the upside I should be happy that she'd been bitten by the buy sufficiently to find the cash for a half decent bike. Maybe my spannering was instrumental in that even, I don't know. Just felt a bit like someone throwing away a gift.

"Camera you say, dear? Nikon Coolpix? Ha. You need this Leica M5 and an assortment of Zeiss lenses, each worth more than a family hatchback. What do you mean you don't understand about f-stops and white balance and just want to take some snaps of the kids? Pah. I give up."

Yeah, I made that mistake as well. Anyone want to buy a nice camera?

Hebdencyclist is pretty spot on..

Another thing to consider is that anyone with kids under the age of about 12 years old is gonna be familiar with the tv programme 'grandpa in my pocket'.. To any of our non-cycling-obsessed acquaintances we are the Mr Liker-Biker character from the show..

Familiarise yourselves with the character, accept your fate and get on with your life

Hebdencyclist is spot on.

I got a lovely old Orbit ladies bike for my wife and excitedly elplained that not only was it handbuilt from Reynolds 531. Not just any old 531 though, not even 531cs but spanking gorgeous 531c!!

Could. Not. Care. Less. Wants the shiny one from Halfords. 🙂

Anyone want to buy a late eighties ladies frame made from lovely 531c?

What size frame and how much ?

Sadly coming around to the people take the p1ss idea. Did a bike fit for a mate, she didn't believe me, paid 250 quid to get the exact same result from some guy who "works with Sky". Obviously he's so skilled he just chopped all the cables, so I agreed to re cable (full internal faff) and re tape the bike. Been a bit busy at work (as in 20 hour days), got her bike still in my work stand (and hasn't paid me for cables etc), and she asks if she can just pop in with her other half's bike as his gears are growling...

Scratch 2 off the will-work-for-beer list.

Go with her for thd valuation. Then when they say its worth over £400 and she decides she might like it after all, tell her she can, but for the value the bike shop placed on it.

Lady from the 80's with nice frame you say?

tell her you are an expert on bicycles, whilst she knows nothing, wait for her to agree, then say there you go then, £400 please.

hebdencyclist - Member
This happens wherever hobby geeks and mainstream consumer culture collide. Women must get sick of it

"IPod you say, dear? Tsk. What you need is a Thorens turntable and custom tone arm, connected to this amp I'll make for you using these old valves I've sourced from old Soviet military radios. What's that? You can't listen to it on the bus? Well screw you then, ungrateful, know-nothing little minx."

"Camera you say, dear? Nikon Coolpix? Ha. You need this Leica M5 and an assortment of Zeiss lenses, each worth more than a family hatchback. What do you mean you don't understand about f-stops and white balance and just want to take some snaps of the kids? Pah. I give up."

Etc

I enjoyed this post [img] [/img]

Anyone want to buy a late eighties ladies frame made from lovely 531c?

Yes. I absolutely do. Pics, c-to-c measurement, rear dropout spacing and price please 🙂

Will measure up in the morning for those interested in my frame. Are you looking to impress a lady friend?? 🙂

80 year old lady with a zimmer frame you say?

Are you looking to impress a lady friend??

Yes. I'm going to treat the project like some sort of test of my masculinity. Therefore, I will fail to adequately consult her, then build her a bike using a combination of cheap and worn-out parts in order to meet the "challenge" of building a bike to an arbitrary price point.

Then, when she is disappointed with the result, I'll start a ranty, foul-mouthed thread on Singletrack World about it, wherein I'll make several sexist and disrespectful comments about her.

Wow.

So you built her a bike, with "worn tyres and drivetrain", because you thought you knew better than she did what she actually wanted. This is Extreme Mansplaining.

I hope she reads the derogatory and disrespectful things you've said about her on this thread. Some "friend".

Firstly ... i didn't tell her to buy anything. She asked for my advice on buying a bike because she didn't know what she wanted or what she should buy. You seem to have missed that part..

I offered my advice. She agreed to go wih my suggestion and at no point stipulated the bike had to be new. Indeeed she had already expressed an interest in a giant anthem i recently sold but it was to big for her.. She wasn't forced into taking up the option i suggested, far from it. Obviously if she had said 'i want something new and shiney' i wouldn't have gone to the time and expense of building her something up.

The tyres are worn as is the drivetrain, but still have many miles in them and work fine..given its a second hand bike i fail to see why this needs pointing out.

Secondly, what ' derogatory and disrespectful things' have i said about her other than she knows nothing about bikes (which she doesnt) and shes being ungrateful.....its not me that has made the derogatory comments on this post (although i think anyone not entirely up their own arse can see that they were said in 'humour')

Then, when she is disappointed with the result, I'll start a ranty, foul-mouthed thread on Singletrack World about it, wherein I'll make several sexist and disrespectful comments about her.

I, for one, can't wait! 🙂

Secondly, what ' derogatory and disrespectful things' have i said about her other than she knows nothing about bikes (which she doesnt) and shes being ungrateful

There was a comment about boobs in there somewhere. HTH.

The tyres are worn as is the drivetrain

You made some big compromises in order to bring the bike in at a price point. You did not consult her on those compromises. And she wasn't happy with them. I wouldn't be happy with them.

Instead of being all hurt that she didn't like your worn-out bike that she didn't ask you to build, how about you just say to her "Yep. I thought I was doing you a favour, but I ended up building something you didn't want. Sorry about that."

Secondly, what ' derogatory and disrespectful things' have i said about her

So you think that offering your opinion of her breasts on an internet forum should be taken as a compliment?

Or bragging about the opportunities you've had to shag her?

You don't respect her.

He respects her enough to spend a significant amount of time and money on building her a bike (and to be fair, a pretty bloody good one), from which he'd have earned nothing. Seems like a pretty good friend, despite a few flippant comments on an anonymous forum.
Worn out bike? please.

Instead of being all hurt that she didn't like your worn-out bike that she didn't ask you to build, how about you just say to her "Yep. I thought I was doing you a favour, but I ended up building something you didn't want. Sorry about that."

But she knew what frame he was getting her, and therefore was assuming to get a second hand bike. What second hand bikes are not part worn.

On the other hand, I think the OP should sell the bike (you will get more then what you paid) and just politely decline any other future requests from help from her when her piece of shit falls to pieces around glentress.

You made some big compromises

If supplying an Xt/SLX drivetrain with around 500 miles of riding on it, plus 2 perfectly functioning tyres,brand new brakes, new cables, a frame with a freshly tuned rear shock and new bearings (not by me I may add) and wheels that are as good as new is a 'big' compromise for 400 quid, then remind me never to sell you a bike on the clasifieds. Simple fact is you haven't seen the bike so are in zero position to make such a statement.

So you think that offering your opinion of her breasts on an internet forum should be taken as a compliment?

Or bragging about the opportunities you've had to shag her?

Given a number of posters suggested I only did it so I could 'shag' her, I felt my comment was reasonably justifiable (albeit flippantly put), if you took it as me 'bragging' then I suggest you dont know me very well.

Given as wrecker says its an anonymous forum that a; she'll never read, b: the comments were meant as flippant humour and c: I know the girl fairly well and what she would and wouldn't be offended by, I'm fairly comfortable shes not going to be terribly offended by those 2 comments.

Instead of being all hurt that she didn't like your worn-out bike that she didn't ask you to build

Perhaps read the thread. she did ask me to built it. She also saw a pic of the bike new from a link, so she knew what the frame, forks and wheels would be. And as Bigjim on here who sold me the Frame, forks and wheels will testify, they're in pretty good nick

tpbiker, walk away!

There's no winning an argument with the stw fishwives, it's like wrestling with a pig.

[i]I know the girl fairly well and what she would and wouldn't be offended by[/i]

I always find it amazing how, in real life, people aren't offended by stuff like they are on here.

He respects her enough to spend a significant amount of time and money on building her a bike

Yes - I get that. But it wasn't the bike she wanted. He made her a promise to build her a full-suss bike for £400, but in order to do it he had use some ropey parts. And he blames her for not liking it ("ungrateful" etc) I'm sure he entered into this with the best of intentions, but he made a mistake. He should reflect on this, rather than moaning on here.

a few flippant comments

Ah - the sexist's defence no.3.

See also "God - it was only a joke love. Lighten up.", "Take it as a compliment" and "well, boys will be boys".

She may take the bike, she may not. In order to avert conflict, she may apologise to him for not being eternally grateful. But whatever happens, she'll regret ever having got involved with him. He could prevent her from feeling like this by admitting his mistake and removing the sense of obligation. As it stands right now, his entrenched position isn't helping.

Thanks for proving my last point.

This happens wherever hobby geeks and mainstream consumer culture collide. Women must get sick of it

"IPod you say, dear? Tsk. What you need is a Thorens turntable and custom tone arm, connected to this amp I'll make for you using these old valves I've sourced from old Soviet military radios. What's that? You can't listen to it on the bus? Well screw you then, ungrateful, know-nothing little minx."

"Camera you say, dear? Nikon Coolpix? Ha. You need this Leica M5 and an assortment of Zeiss lenses, each worth more than a family hatchback. What do you mean you don't understand about f-stops and white balance and just want to take some snaps of the kids? Pah. I give up."

Etc

Not even remotely like what the OP has described

Then, when she is disappointed with the result, I'll start a ranty, foul-mouthed thread on Singletrack World about it, wherein I'll make several sexist and disrespectful comments about her.

Another exaggerated little snippet, well done.

Chalk it up to experience OP, you did something that you thought was right and a fair bit more than was expected to begin with and it hasn't worked out, of course you should know you can't start a thread like this without some sensationalist exaggeration from within the masses.

Good job on the build for that cash

<hope this helps>
[img] [/img]
OP - I've had similar issues making bikes for friends - you have my sympathies - but I'm keeping my bar tassels 🙂

Yes - I get that. But it wasn't the bike she wanted. He made her a promise to build her a full-suss bike for £400, but in order to do it he had use some ropey parts. And he blames her for not liking it ("ungrateful" etc) I'm sure he entered into this with the best of intentions, but he made a mistake. He should reflect on this, rather than moaning on here.

OP, obviously I don't care what you choose to do but, honestly, I think the worst outcome here would be to sell her the bike. Flog it, put the episode behind you (both - hopefully on good terms) and move on. It's not worth falling out over but you might use it to change your perspective on this friendship

You made some big compromises
If supplying an Xt/SLX drivetrain with around 500 miles of riding on it, plus 2 perfectly functioning tyres,brand new brakes, new cables, a frame with a freshly tuned rear shock and new bearings (not by me I may add) and wheels that are as good as new is a 'big' compromise for 400 quid, then remind me never to sell you a bike on the clasifieds. Simple fact is you haven't seen the bike so are in zero position to make such a statement.

So you think that offering your opinion of her breasts on an internet forum should be taken as a compliment?
Or bragging about the opportunities you've had to shag her?

Given a number of posters suggested I only did it so I could 'shag' her, I felt my comment was reasonably justifiable (albeit flippantly put), if you took it as me 'bragging' then I suggest you dont know me very well.

Given as wrecker says its an anonymous forum that a; she'll never read, b: the comments were meant as flippant humour and c: I know the girl fairly well and what she would and wouldn't be offended by, I'm fairly comfortable shes not going to be terribly offended by those 2 comments.

There's no point in saying "you don't know me". This is an internet forum. None of us know each other. We can only go on what we read. As for being goaded into the sexist comments by others, yes, you were, but try and be the bigger man, especially when a friend's involved.

As for your parts list, yes, I get it, but that doesn't matter. The point is that SHE doesn't care about the parts list. When she saw the bike, her attention went straight to the mismatched and worn-out parts.

Anyway, she may come round and decide she likes it after all. But I don't think that listing the parts is going to convince her. If it was me, I'd be saying "I wanted to help you and I did my best with the budget I had. Yes, I had to use a few ropey parts. Sorry it's not what you wanted. What do you want to do?" I don't think that guilt-tripping her is going achieve a satisfactory outcome for either of you.

Sounds like she has some trust issues. I assume you pointed out you'd paid £300 for the frame and wheels. You could point out a similar spec new bike to show her the value she's getting. Finally, perhaps she's mad as she really wants a personal servicing and not a mountain bike. IGMC

[img] [/img]

Jeez!This place sometimes.

[img] [/img]

reminds me of a conversation a year or so ago

me: look at my shiny new titanium bike which cost [insert random number that was quite a lot less than i actually paid for it]

the wife: but it isn't even painted

. He could prevent her from feeling like this by admitting his mistake and removing the sense of obligation. As it stands right now, his entrenched position isn't helping.

I've told her there is no sense of obligation already. Taking advise on here I've said if she wants to get it valued then bash on, but also said as I've clearly not managed her expectations well feel free to hand it back over the weekend and I'll sell it on

As some kind of indication of what I'm up against...she told me the wheels don't turn when you wheel the bike backwards and as such what else is wrong with the bike.

I asked her if the bike was in gear and chain was on....

at least thats one problem solved.

Appreciate that she may not of know that, but it kind of pisses me off that she clearly doesn't trust me to not hand her a piece of crap, which is a far bigger issue to me than the cash itself.

Heh. She doesn't want it, does she?

Good luck for the best outcome.

her attention went straight to the mismatched and worn-out parts

If you call 2 different tyres front and back (and the same combo as I rode on my enduro up until very recently) as mismatched then fair enough but thats a bit like complaining that a bike only has 10 gears rather than 33...

As for worn out parts, she didn't even notice them. She commented on the scuffed paintwork on the frame and scuffed seatpost. Ie purely cosmetic...she never even sat on the thing!