Ladies and disreputable gentlemen… welcome one all all, welcome back to the occasional eurovision one speed slogan contest.
The prestigious panel of judges: Charlie The Bikemonger, Glen Morangie and Buddy Bubbakush have shortlisted the favorites.
Needless to say that there were many great and indeed worthy entries that did not make the final cut but were incredibly good… yadda yadda yadda, don’t cry, its not that important, shut the hell up, you think you’ve got problems, you make me so sick, … etc…
The uber prestigious “Bikemonger Wisecracker” headset spacer bottle opener will be awarded to one of the following gifted drunks:
• Nothing Changes - Mr Nutt
• Talent Compensator - Wildrnes
• By Heck No Rear Mech - Crisp bacon
• Bob Marley’s Wailers Smoked My Derailleurs – Charlie The Bikemonger – don’t vote for this as I have already ordered these.
• Mine’s A Single - Well hung
• What would Jesus ride – Charlie again
• Only The Chain is Stressed – Lion Heart
• More Balls Than Lance – Muddy@RSEguy
• My Bikes Gonna kill yo Mamma – Single speed dan, with a zappa reference, sweet.
• More Gonads than gears – Single speed dan
• Are you paying too much for your car insurance – Scant
• Crank one off – Ski
• I am not a number I am 32:16 – Mr sparkle
• Thumbs are for clits not shifters – Charlie again, wish he would **** off
• Legs Like Pistons – liver like shit - Smee
Cast your votes now….*
* lines are now open but will close at some point towards the bottom of this bottle of Railroad Red, your vote may not be counted, you may not count, you may not matter, you are made of matter but its only the sub atomic bombardment from space that makes you matter. Votes will be charged with drunken disorderly.
I'd buy a "By heck, no rear mech" sticker but the best one of the lot was "singl_sp__d: cycling without the ease"
I liked the 16 <- SS -> 32 as well but again it hasn't made your shortlist.
Legs Like Pistons – liver like **** - Smee
Crank one off – Ski
nothing changes for me
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad (ay!)
My vote goes to 'By heck no rear mech' obviously however my particular favorite was 'Dual fuel, pies & beer' but it didn't make the shortlist :o(
Talent Compensator - Wildrnes
Danke!
Another vote for - By Heck No Rear Mech
Crank one off gets my vote.
With legs like pistons a close second.
Are you paying too much for your car insurance – Scant
🙂
i'm chuffed me
i've never been in a final before!!!
I'm gonna have to drink a lot more fentlemans stuff as I'm off the sauce! 😆
fentlemans ginger beer is awesome... love the ginger nuggets in the bottom.
i do quite like the more balls than lance one,
Nothing changes - I think? Followed by: I am not a number I am 32:16
Have fun!
Can I abstain? They're all a bit dull really. To me the whole point of riding single-speed /fixed is that it's simple and no fuss - so why make a big deal out of it
What about 'Any fool can ride fixed - and I'm here to prove it"?
have I won yet? 😆
'Nothing changes' and 'what would Jesus ride' for me
Are you paying too much for your car insurance?
Nothing Changes - Mr Nutt & By Heck No Rear Mech - Crisp bacon for me
Thumbs are for clits not shifters LOL
Nothing Changes - Mr Nutt
Oh, and can't believe "singl_sp__d: cycling without the ease" didn't make it! I'd have bought that!
by heck no rear mech!
I'll vote for "by heck no rear mech" but I know in my heart of hearts that it doesn't portray the simplicity and that air of "oh so cool" wizened cynicism that alludes even the most jaded geared rider, unlike my stellar "Nothing Changes" which so accurately portrays it 😆
'Nothing changes'
i'm voting for my bike is gonna kill your momma
and
more gonads than gears
well someones got to? 😉
Thumbs are for clits not shifters – Charlie
Gets my vote 😆
'By heck, No rear mech' and 'nothing changes' can they both win? I also think 'Thumbs are for clits not shifters' is great.
• What would Jesus ride – Charlie again
Got to love the Jesus!
Legs Like Pistons – liver like ****
Thumbs are for clits not shifters
Too slack to be bothered to vote.
None of the above, sorry none of them even raised a smile.
Another vote for MrNutt
and no they are not a talent compensator they are a personality replacement 🙂
what happened to "my bike and I cannot cope with the modern world, and therefore are more niche that yow"?
nothing changes. Followed by I am not a number
I vote for
I am not a number I am 32:16...
Ha singlespeed, too bad it's useless now 🙁
"Nothing changes" for me
Nothing changes for me and pls get a set of by heck no rear mech! in black on white for my white On One pls!
I think I will need a triangular prism shape (toblerone pckt) on the lower chainstay with the above two and Bob Marley and then spin before each ride......
great competition!!! LOL
Big Bike Bash
Or failing that - Nothing Changes
• Mine’s A Single - Well hung
Can I vote for myself?
Actually I was quite proud of "Mech Atheist" but hey ho 🙂
Oh well, Put my vote down for "Mine's a Single" then
nothing changes
but you will make some
i hope charliewhat would jesus ride
"I am not a number I am 32:16" for me
By 'eck no rear mech
Sprog James idea
"Single Speeding - 99% needn't apply"
Charlie? poor fella, one bottle then it all goes blank, the next thing you know your arguing with an elderly woman in a russian backstreet for the last mouthful of synthetic degreaser!
can you just get em all made?
Ok, the votes are in and I will start another post after I have walked the dog and announce the winners.
the only one that me me chuckle:
I am not a number I am 32:16 – Mr sparkle