The nature of a wheeled vehicle with minimal mud guards means things are different for us, compared to just having to do the bottom of your boots for example.
What level of cleaning is neccesary? Even if I've had a properly filthy ride and at a place where washing is possible/practical, I probably am not getting it into showroom condition. And almost certainly, the tyres will be left dirty and or rolled back across the carpark anyway - so the most likely path of transmission will still remain muddy.
Shoes are normally a dry and brush off affair, a few times a year they will need a proper immerse in water washing.
Waterproof jacket, never. The back gets a hosing in the shower if its filthy. It has never been properly cleaned. How much if any of that mud staining will just fall off on my next ride? Even if it is rained on?
#1 for me is "ride the same bike regularly"
If I get into the habit of riding with the same group, in simpler places, at similar times then the faff is exponentially less.
Tools, spares etc live in the car footwell / camelback / bumbag. Bike is ready to go. Batteries come straight off the bike and onto charge. All I need to do is throw on the same set of clothes from the airer and go.
front wheel off, put rest of bike in boot (boot liner always in place)
put waterproof seat cover on front drivers seat
put bag,helmet,jacket in boot
drive off
take 5-10 mins I guess
I dotn really understand the people who wash bikes (unless the bike lives indoors - in which case fair enough) druing winter, after every ride, its only going to get muddy again within 30 seconds of setting off on the next ride.
If in the lakes there’s an awesome £1 jetwash in Keswick to get bikes gleaming, but otherwise I either leave bike in car to dry and then brush down later (but this still deposits lots of mud which gets dragged around) or I have to put the bike in the shower and clean it there (then clean the shower).
Plant sprayer. The bigger the better, can be used to clean self and bike.
The Worx Hyrdoshot is great for carpark/layby bike cleaning. Amongst my riding group there are a few items that an increasing number of the group own having seen how well they works for others, and this is one of them.
I dotn really understand the people who wash bikes (unless the bike lives indoors – in which case fair enough) druing winter
Surely the other way round.
Sticky mud all over MTB in winter, needs cleaning.
Dust and a bit of sweat on MTB in summer, just lube chain and put away.
I chuck the bike on the roof, 30sec.
Get old car mat out of the boot, stand on it. Strip off everything dirty and chuck in IKEA bag. 1min
Joggers, hoodie and shoes on. 1min
Bag in boot, drive away.
3 mins to do everything, tops.
If its cold I start the car first to get the heated seats up to temp.
Get home, 2min jet wash of bike and shoes, wipe down bike, quick squirt of GT85
Muddy stuff into washing machine, shoes on dryer.
Sofa, tea and medals.
Never realised so many people get changed before driving off. Much easier just to get some decent seat covers and maybe a few old towels (moisture level dependant), then hose yourself and the bike off at home before getting straight in the shower. Admittedly this does require a certain level of disregard for the vehicle in question, but a true biker would have spent all of their dosh on bikes anyway, so I can't really see it being to much of a problem.
Fortunate enough to be able to ride from home, no faff. Only live about 3 or 4 miles away from Cannock Chase so plenty of options.
If I'm riding further afield I adopt the usual, lob bike on roof, dirty kit in a bag, clean kit on, go home method. Clean up at home at my leisure.
put bike in car, drive home.
Never realised so many people get changed before driving off. Much easier just to get some decent seat covers and maybe a few old towels (moisture level dependant),
If you do that though you get mud on the floor, doors, dashboard etc.
I at least get changed out of top layer of mud
Main issue with being too muddy in car is getting muds on seatbelts. I'm not precious about my car but happy to sacrifice a couple of minutes to get changes if I'm really muddy.
If you're not in a rush, does the faffing matter? Especially if you're the kind of person that enjoys taking their time over stuff?
Me, i'm zero faff, i'm in all my gear on the drive there in a van, bike out, i'm ready. After, bike goes in back of the van dirty, i just start driving if it's a short distance and i'm not uncomfortable. If i'm wet and gritty, i'll strip off trousers and top upper layer.
If i know i'm going to get muddy, i do wear outer layers which are easy to peel off and just deal with it when i get home.
5 minutes getting ready and packing up is a long time for me.
Tyre pressures/maintenance faff gets done night before a ride.
- Chuck bike and kit bag in van, drive to starting point.
- change shoes, get back pack out of kit bag
- put front wheel on bike
- lock van, clip key in bag
- ride off.
10 mins max (maybe more if I need a poo)
- Finish ride
- Front wheel off and bike in van
- change into clean dry clothes if needed
- put kit in kit bag
- drive off home
15-20 mins max depending on how filthy I am.
Add time if it’s a trail centre and I use their cafe, look around the bike shop, etc.
Once home
- Chuck wet and muddy kit in the machine
- bike out, wheel on, wash/lube bike if needed
- put bike in van or garage depending on plans.
- rinse bladder out.
The secret is to be prepared the night before.
Once all my kit is clean and dry it goes back in the kit bag ready for next time.
I have a huge kit bag with multiple pockets, waterproof shoe compartment, etc which I got from work (too big for work) but prior to that I just had a big blue Ikea bag for wet and one for dry.
(Never underestimate how awesome Ikea bags are).
If you’re not in a rush, does the faffing matter?
Exactly, bike goes into the back of the car (Passat estate), I then sit down on the edge of the open boot and have a nice cup of tea from my flask, enjoying the surroundings, a bit of P&Q, before setting off back home in the motor...
Couple of thoughts on reading this
- I think some folks have a slightly optimistic measure of time. I think if they timed themselves they would find themselves to be slower than they think. Ballpark is probably right
- surprised at how long people are driving for despite it being a 'local' ride
- getting stuff ready in advance and being organised is a big help
I'm a big fan of the plastic/flexi trugs. You can stand in it if needed, but it's also great for dumping kit in. I use one for muddy/wet/dirty kit - biking, walking, dog, SUP, beach
Despite having a van I find it a LOT less faff to just ride from home. Although I'm fortunate to live close to places to ride. It's slower to get to the place we meet but all in it's about the same amount of time because I arrive ready to go (and warm) and I can just go straight home, although we usually stop for a pint afterwards.
If you’re not in a rush, does the faffing matter?
if you aren't on a deadline to return home, and its still daylight - why arent you riding more? 😉
I only get to ride while the kids are at Nursery.
Drop off is 9am and pick up is 3pm. 45 minutes each way means it’s minimise faff or don’t bother going. In that time I can get 3-4 solid hours of riding at FOD and still get home to pick them up. 30 minutes in the middle for lunch in the cafe as I like to support them as much as possible.
Kids really streamlined the faffing I did.
Once a faffer, always a faffer.
The worst time is on guided trips, getting ready to ride after breakfast.
Get changed into riding gear, spend 3 mins deciding whether to wear a base layer or long Vs short sleeved top
Find bag, empty yesterday's food wrappers/black banana skin out of bag
Fill bladder with water
Put food into bag
Find wallet, put in bag
Find GPS, realise it needs a charge, find usb cable and put on charge
Get bike out
Check tyre pressures/pump up tyres
Lube chain
Do pre-ride ride up and down the street to make sure nothing has fallen off overnight
Go back into room, grab bag
Grab helmet & gloves
Go outside, ready to ride
Go back inside to fetch sunglasses
Go back outside
Go back inside to fetch charging GPS
Finally ready to ride
Wait for the other faffers who are still lubing their chains...
🤣🤣
I accept that what I'm doing would be considered faff, but by the strict definitions, it isn't. It's not messing about or being inefficient or forgetful. Not doing any of those things has some undesirable consequence.
"faff" - spend time in ineffectual activity
"ineffectual" - not producing any significant or desired effect
Is there a modern day equivalent of the Duffbag, with the flap to stand on while getting changed ? I had one years back and it was ideal.
I use a Changing mat /bag from Lomo.
It's great and only £12
Finish ride.
Bike on roof.
Have an old car mat to stand on.
*Muddy clothes off- hoody and shorts on.
Chuck gear in the boot.
Drive off.
*If not too minging I'll just put a seat cover on and save getting changed.
Never realised so many people get changed before driving off. Much easier just to get some decent seat covers and maybe a few old towels (moisture level dependant), then hose yourself and the bike off at home before getting straight in the shower.
I like to be out of my chamois and into warm, dry clothes for the drive home and the cleaning of bike, shoes & bag in the back garden.
Then a quick warm lunch before showering.
I massively sympathise with you OP. After 25 years of MTB I had enough of the faff a couple of years ago. Not worth it anymore. So my solution was to become a fair weather rider. At the same time I moved to the South Downs so I rarely take the car to ride. A bit drastic but I enjoy cycling much more now by cutting all the crap. And I filled the vacuum with tennis which is far simpler in terms of faff…
I also sympathise with OP and nickfrog
I am inherently a faffer (and OCD), and live in a rented flat in which the MTB also lives. So I really struggle to justify riding in shitty weather, unless it's a long ride in a nice place
Riding from the doorstep, and not giving much of a s**t about my car when I do drive, definitely helps, as does having a partner who is pretty messy and thus does not give a crap about the state of the car
Is there a modern day equivalent of the Duffbag, with the flap to stand on while getting changed ? I had one years back and it was ideal.
Much nicer than a thin mat on cold, stony ground
I accept that what I’m doing would be considered faff, but by the strict definitions, it isn’t. It’s not messing about or being inefficient or forgetful. Not doing any of those things has some undesirable consequence.
“faff” – spend time in ineffectual activity
“ineffectual” – not producing any significant or desired effect
you're missing time and place. If you get everything sorted so all you need to do when you get the car park is get the bike off the roof and bip the car locked, and your mate's turned up in his house clothes and a bag full of stuff he's not decided which he's going to wear, bike needing air in tyres, air in shocks, god knows what else... breakfast to eat...
This is all stuff he needs to do to "produce significant, desired effects" but he's doing in the car park when you're ready to ride. FAFF! Especially as he's the one who's going to be 20 minutes late to start with.
Faff is inefficiency. Inefficiency in use of time.
If I'm sounding harsh about it, it's all Freudian projection: I'm an offender, but I'm trying!
@Nedrapier- this exactly. It’s not faffing if you need to clean your bike and sort everything out at the end because you live in a flat, dodgy area, etc and can’t do it at home. But turning up to a ride unprepared and then spending ages sorting your bike and life out if FAFF. Packing your kit, sorting your bike out and getting ready the night before is just common sense and it reduces how cold/pissed off your mates get.
When we were renting a flat in central Bristol we 100% had to clean and dry bikes, put into bike bag, etc to get them inside with minimal risk of scrotes seeing them going inside and not trashing the place to lose our (exorbitant deposit). But now we have a garden and garage I can just do that at home later on.
Never realised so many people get changed before driving off. Much easier just to get some decent seat covers and maybe a few old towels (moisture level dependant), then hose yourself and the bike off at home before getting straight in the shower.
Didn't you ever get told to wear clean pants out in case you were in an accident?
That 😂
Mucky bike on roof (trying to remember to keep gloves on).
Stand in Ikea bag, get naked with changing robe (be careful,doggers use the same car parks as MTBers), step into sandals, toss Ikea bag into boot (muddy clobber inside). Drive home
I 60mins from trails, so not driving home in soggy undershorts.
Arrive dressed for the ride.
I am jealous of all those using fancy changing mats.... i use one of the big blue bags from IKEA, been ideal for me as pretty big to stand in and swallows all dirty kit..
But my car does always have that nice background smell of dirty kit and coffee!
Hooks, hooks and more hooks!
Everything has a place where it goes back to and you'll find it next time.
Riding jackets, shirts and over-trousers live on their own hangers on a hanging rail in the garage, gloves, arm/knee warmers and buffs live in a tub fixed to the wall next to them.
Only base layers, and lycra live indoors.
Have shoes and lid dry and ready (and on their hooks), have spare shoes dry and ready for when you forget to dry out your normal shoes.
Emergency tools/spares/tubes/etc live on the bike, reducing the number of things you need to remember.
If you know your route/local loop and don't need navigation ditch the handlebar GPS (that won't be where you left it and/or not charged) and opt for a wrist mounted jobbie, if you want to record the ride, a watch us harder to forget.
If driving, I have one of those big bucket things that I just grab stuff and dump into, essentially it's the same pre-ride routine as riding from the door but you chuck it all in that bucket rather than wear it.
For me it's ALL about the bag. Inspired by ChrisL, who has a holdall the size of my living room, I have a big bag and there's a full set of wet and dry riding kit permanently in it. As soon as I wash something it goes in the bag not into a drawer. So it's always either ready to go or very nearly. Even if I'm riding from the door I still normally use the bag as it standardises the prep.
This was always a good move, but, I struggle with motivation now due to depression and it's just amazing the difference it makes. No looking for stuff, no worrying if i have everything, no checking 3 times, ultimately no deciding to do something else because I left it to the last minute to leave then had a delay. It's the difference between riding and not, often. But even for normal people it's still a good idea.
Yep the bag strategy is good. I have the Dakine one with a middle divider, shoe compartment and changing mat. Use one side for clothes, and use packing cubes to separate wet/normal/summer things. Does mean lugging a big bag to and from the car, but it's less faff.
Ride places with midges. I would say normally it takes me 5mins from stopping to driving off but can get it down to 5-10seconds when finishing a summer ride in Argyll.
It sounds like you need all your kit properly clean post ride which is cool and maybe even a necessity if you have a nice car or live in a flat but that's where the time saving is.
I'm really particular about my bike being mechanically sound but don't care about how clean it is. Moving bits get wiped down and mud falls off when dry. Only exception is when I want to avoid dragging mud between places. Muddy clothes into a bag, outer stuff dry and shake and sweaty stuff into the washing machine. Shoes get brushed when dry. Riding mates do take the piss out of my manky bikes but strangely it's never me at the trailside with a broken bike because I put my time into maintaining it rather than faffing about with mucoff and polish!
