My 6yr old boy is autistic and can't cope with instruction to ride a bike. He likes to be pushed on it now and again, but not overly fussed about 'outside'.
Just got back from holiday in Snowdonia, and although I know he had fun, everyday was punctuated with a request to go home and play on the computer (cbbies etc).
To all of you with disabled children, I take my hat off to you all, I am not bearing the weight well at the moment and feel very much a bad parent.
Not fishing, just stating my point of view.
Sorry for the downer. For some reason spouting on a page o mostly strangers seems to help, odd but true.
So what if he doesn't like a bike, do more of what he does like!
How about a tandem or tagalong?
I have a 6yr old son and I'm sure it must be painful but remember he is only young so give it time. Perhaps investigate getting a one of those "strider" bikes so he can use his feet rather than pedals. That way he gets the fun and the freedom but without too much effort.
We do, DJ.
autism affects balance and coordination , if you can afford it, try him on a trike , or take out the bb and cranks on his bike to make a balance bike .
our lad has a form of brain damage that resulted in physical and learning difficulties. biking has always been a big part of family life so we were all gutted that he physically couldnt manage it and mentally probably wouldnt be able to learn. i asked the local university to see if a design student would take it on as a project but no one was interested so we scoured the market for something that would work.
in the end it was the simplest stuff that worked the best. we bought a tag-a-long type trailer bike and fitted spds to keep his feet on the pedals and adapted my own grip design.
we have just bought a tandem and using spds and the grip adaption he is able to be the stoker with surprisingly little difficulty. sometimes it just takes a while to get there.
at work we have a trike, a wheelchair bike and a two-wheeler trailer bike so there are options out there, but with a youngster on the autistic spectrum there is always going to be other issues to consider (sensory overload etc). that said, you are welcome to have our trek 'mountain train' tagalong bike which our son has outgrown. email me if you fancy giving it a try.
chin up fella,
tom
Don't worry - if he gets it in is own time, great. And when he does, no matter how many years it takes, you'll be the happiest dad in the World.
We're all different (believe me!) and we all go our own way about things. It's what makes life so brilliant.
Rachel
I've tried making a balance bike, but it was too much to cope with, too much going on at once. And tag along might work, but I'd be really scared of him letting go of the bars! Consequence to actions don't feature highly in his skill set.
He is the most wonderful child and I love him dearly, just hoping beyond hope he'll develop better motor skills.
Cant help with the autistic issue but dont push too hard. Find something he wants to do and then lead him onto the bike when you/he feel ready?
My two girls (5 and 8 ) were "gently" urged onto bikes from birth until last wkend when I bought them skateboards...Queue chaos and bikes in the shed!!
my 2 girls ride their bikes about 4 times a year and only then if their mates come along too
it's fine
(in a way I'm quite glad I don't have any boys though, as I've wondered how I'd feel if they hated the things I like. seems a bit easier with girls somehow (they're only a bit sporty and only do stuff when "made" to, despite me & the wife always having done lots and loved it))
if it's about more than just biking, ... well, I can't speak from experience of having an autistic kid (though plenty on here have). If I had to I'd say just enjoy him for what he is, rather than what he isn't
Would a like a bike help? Lets him ride but in an easier form??
Mate as a parent who kids have not got a learning disability it's really tough they are demanding little people by design!! can't imagine your position, we have friends with a little chap with Autism and I see how tough it is for them. so chill and give yourself a break, you love him and care for him and that's all he will ever need. Remember all kids develop at their own pace keep it relaxed and fun and let him discover being outside at his own rate?
Remember it's good (essential really) for you And mrs RT to get time to yourselves as a couple and as individuals. Hope this came across on the right way mate and not patronising if you were here I'd offer you a beer and arrange a spin! Take care dude.
Regarding bearing the weight, are you in touch with any local support organizations / charities? I know from second-hand personal experience how helpful they can be.
And +1 mintimperial below.
feel very much a bad parent
Put that thought right out of your head right now. You clearly care about doing the best that you can for your son, and it sounds to me like you're trying your hardest to do it too. That makes you a good parent. You can't be perfect, you can't get it right all the time, so don't beat yourself up when things don't go smoothly.
Would a like a bike help? Lets him ride but in an easier form??Mate as a parent who kids have not got a learning disability it's really tough they are demanding little people by design!! can't imagine your position, we have friends with a little chap with Autism and I see how tough it is for them. so chill and give yourself a break, you love him and care for him and that's all he will ever need. Remember all kids develop at their own pace keep it relaxed and fun and let him discover being outside at his own rate?
Remember it's good (essential really) for you And mrs RT to get time to yourselves as a couple and as individuals. Hope this came across on the right way mate and not patronising if you were here I'd offer you a beer and arrange a spin! Take care dude.
POTD...Nice bloke, good job! 😀
Are you near London by any chance?
Bikeworks on Cambridge Heath Rd have a lot of experience in teaching kids with learning difficulties (including autism) how to ride bikes.
I believe they have some specially modded trikes that they use. Could be worth a call even if you arent nearby - mail me if you need any details for them.
I Feel your pain Andy
My youngest sufferes from a rare condition called Smith–Magenis Syndrome, which effects her in a number of ways,(not going into detail here, but google it if you want to know more) she is four going on five.
We thought she would never walk, talk, smile, etc.
So every time she does something other kids take for granted, its a big deal for us, its not easy, like everyone else we have good days and bad ones too.
Focus on what they can do & like, fill their day.
Saying that, I wish I could find a decent metal trike bike for her to ride, her inside leg is only 12 inches & she has trashed three plastic ones so far!
[url= http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5190/5683457172_0fd09772b0_m.jp g" target="_blank">
[url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/scotiedog/5683457172/ ]DSC_2070.NEF[/url] by [url= http://www.flickr.com/people/scotiedog/ ]scotiedog[/url], on Flickr
andyRT, re the letting go thing; i bought my lad a neoprene wrist strap that then went over his fingers and around the bars. they were designed for people who cant hold effectively but sounds like they might work for your issue too. ill dig it out and find the company name for you, you can have the one we've got as its too small now anyway.
other than that, practice in a flat grassy space with another adult as a spotter (sorry, obvious suggestion)
also, not specifically bike related but try 'building bridges through snesory integration', about 15 quid off amazon and useful for understanding all sorts of ways around the barriers that autism presents.
Cheers all, some realty safe advice in there. I'll check out tricycles etc, it had somehow never crossed my mind.
On a cheery note, when asked what fish he'd seen at the aquarium (sea zoo on Anglesey, he said:
"I saw dog fish and cat fish and I want to see mouse fish"
"I saw dog fish and cat fish and I want to see mouse fish"
🙂 beautiful! Andy, good luck, no the best of luck to you all! Pashley do an excellent range of trikes for just this reason;
http://www.pashley.co.uk/lists/all.html
.
Thanks, I'll be mailing you guys soon. Some great ideas I'll investigate in the morning
Don't beat yourself up AndyRT, you sound like a great dad.
...anyone else finding the room dusty or is it just me with watery eyes??
TJ that looks fantastic! The pashley Robin looks like a great option, but i can see a tandem like that in our future 😀
I wonder if you could get something like that tandem through a charity or even the nhs. I know that other people have had similar bikes from the nhs in edinburgh for other reasons.
Hey, I used to work for Autism Bedfordshire an independent charity supporting children with autism and their families. I now work for Bedford Borough Council and we have four semi-recumbent tandoms which were purchased by a prediscessor through Aiming High for Disabled Children funding. Other local authorities will have done similar. It's worth investigating on their websites or contacting the sports development teams. Let me know where abouts you live and I'll see what support is available in your area.
I love this place sometimes. 🙂
+1 for the dusty room here too.
STW is ace.
Keep at it OP.
Andy - if you're ever in the area, I seem to remember Pedalabikeaway in the Forest of Dean stock a range of tandems on hire for the less able.
Slowrider, I'll check that book out, thanks. TBH I think most of this frustration is born from the perpetual distance Autism brings. We are very lucky, in that our son is verbal and communicative but our emotional link is implied and I never doubt it, but I do feel unable to truly connect with him at a particular level where shared experiences/memories happen.
That and the ever present unknown of his future capability of independence. But then, I have friends with the same fears for their children of similar age and they're neuro typical.
Hi Andy. My son is 8 years old and autistic. My experience is very similar to yours. I thought he was never going to want to ride his bike but now it is one of his favourite things to do. Just keep offering to take him out on rides and eventually he'll jump at the chance. It may take a while but you will get there!
What about a scooter ? My lads enjoy them as much as they enjoy their bikes.
Rather dusty in SW1 right now.....
Can't help with a mouse fish, but there is a ratfish
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I think the key thing is that you are encouraging him to do new things but also supporting him in things that he finds more comfortable.
My youngest is now 18 and has a paralysed (left) arm as a result of a birth injury.
Took him ages to balance properly on a bike and was 9 or 10 before he got off stabilisers.
But this year me, him and his elder brother went to the alps to follow the TDF. It bought a lump to my throat to see him tackling successfully the col de Montgenevre (1860m) and Col du Lauteret (2180 something metres) although he only managed to get two thirds of the way up the Alpe d'Huez.
Even more scary to follow him back down those same mountains as he was hitting something like 40 mph and i was on his tail screaming 'slow down' and 'braaaaaaaake' but we all made it okay.
Col de Montgenevre
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Col du Lauteret
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Alpe d'Huez
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Palmer77, thanks I'll be in touch, and we are in Hampshire.
Slowoldgit, i bet you're faster than me, and thanks for the tip off, I'll check out FoD tandems.
Oh, and thanks for the support everyone, I am grateful, humbled and not surprised. STW IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE BEST FORUM.
Andy if you not bearing the weight well may i suggest you seek a little advice about your own feelings,
as until you address the real issue behind your own sadness, i believe your son will only suffer,how does your partner feel about your state of mind?
being 6 years old and autistic is very confusing for a child,and sometimes the simple things like cbeebies and TV bring a slight respite to a mind that is working overtime,it is very common for autistic children that are removed from there every day surroundings to want the safety and sanctuary of the things closest to them at home, your lucky your son can verbally tell you these are the thing he his missing, as some children just lash out in frustration because its all to confusing.
do not try to do every thing on your own it just doesn't work, you will only run yourself into the ground and be no good to man nor beast, speak to other people in a similar situation,and look for a local group that will help with trying to ease the everyday pressure, there is help out there and there is plenty of people who have been in your position, Its not easy but it can be a bit more fun.
hope you don't think im stating the obvious but having dealt with mine and my partners family member,s that suffered Asperger ADHD and dyslexia,then later on dementia, I no how difficult it can be.
MB
I'll have a word with some ex-colleagues of mine who specialised in autism and cycling; see if they have any practical advice.
I wish my dad had been as thoughtful as you seem to be when I was younger.
No worries 🙂
Some info here on the Bristol Aiming High bike project: http://www.betterbybike.info/cycling-project-helps-disabled-people-aim-high
Information on the Short Breaks duty which means local authorities have a responsibility to provide a range of short breaks for families affected by disability: http://www3.hants.gov.uk/shortbreaks
Looks like there are some all ability bikes nearby too: http://www.forestandwaterside.info/2011/06/all-ability-bikes-get-first-outing.html
And Hampshire Autism Society: http://www.has.org.uk/
Some local support groups here: http://www.has.org.uk/assets/files/Support%20Groups%203%204%2011.doc
Try to remember is that your not alone in feeling like this. There are people who can support you or just be there to listen.
Hope this helps 🙂
Ben
Cheers MB, I appreciate your advice. It's true that this stuff usually surfaces at times of stress, and it's not exactly great times right now for anyone. I have just got back to a good job after 7 horrid months of searching, so I am stressed about making it past the 4month probation in my contract. No reason to it, just never want redundancy ever again!
AndyRT,
there was a previous [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/autism-anyone ]Austism thread[/url]from a few years ago.. might pick up a few pointers from that. My son Jordan is apsbergic, but was able to ride by the time he was six. Just remember kids with ASD can/ will take longer to pick up certain things.. If balance is an issue, you could try him with a scooter?
Thanks Ben.
I'll look into the bike stuff, but I will pay my way in terms of holidays, and let others that really need the support have the trips away.
We have friends and family, so I have always felt these charitable ventures should be for those that can't afford it themselves.
On that note, I can't believe they're closing so many sure start nurseries! That support network helped us so much.
Micarms, we got a scooter, and he loves it (sometimes). I went a bit mad and got one with 12" wheels, so it could cope with gravel (forest roads n stuff) but tbh it's only good for Tarmac.
I will have to bite the bullit and be more patient.
