[Closed] Most nonsensical marketing BS slogan

Magura innit?

Thors, Asgards, Durin etc

Clothes shop opposite Evans in Kendal used to proudly boast
"We specialise in impulse purchases and unwanted presents"

Always used to make me smile.

Didn't 'Dale have "Cross Mountain" or some similar bobbins for a while?

overmountain?

That was it! Utter, utter pish.

Stoner - Member
Magura innit?

Thors, Asgards, Durin etc

Magura use mythological names in general, not just Nordic ones.

Like Durin has a Lord of the Rings connection and Phaon (????) was a boatman who ferried Aphrodite (I think)....

Financial service companies that call what they sell "products". I can never decide, in that instance, who's the least bright, the buyer or the seller 🙄

Hairdressers are the same: "Would you like some product in that today sir ?"

"Err, yes please, could I have a fridge and maybe a little wire wool ?"

Idiots.

Lifetime Guarantee 🙂

'were all in it together' ?

A Dutch haulage company I once worked for had the slogan "Working For Winners".

The "working" bit was true, we certainly did a lot of that. As for the "winners" bit, that was most definitely a colossal lie.

I remember a bleach with a strap line of: 'Kills bugs, dead' 😐

Genius!

I also used to drive regularly through Creston in BC (hwy 93 iirc) and always chuckle at a roadside A-board advertising a store selling 'nearly new antiques' 🙄

Dontcha love those crazy canucks, eh? 😀

Hairdressers are the same: "Would you like some product in that today sir ?"

"Err, yes please, could I have a fridge and maybe a little wire wool ?"

Idiots.

Surely anything that is physically there is a product. Therefore hair gel and other such things are products. I agre with the financial services though.

A whole advert on prime time telly to explain to us punters what a word we'll never use means.

Surely anything that is physically there is a product.

these are tangible products, anything else that is created and sold is an intangible product. I don't see anything wrong with it.

A sticker on the top tube of a Universal bike once said the bike featured "blowout technology".

At least they could say they had warned you.

GB

"fighting crime, protecting people"

"Nordic Mythology Technology"

I think that's a troll...

these are tangible products, anything else that is created and sold is an intangible product. I don't see anything wrong with it.

No, Nothing wrong with it at all..

Very strange thing to attempt to complain about really ❓

It always surprises me the number of dental practices that use ' our fully qualified dentists...' in their blurb. Isn't that the minimum requirement people expect or is there an opening for enthusiastic amateurs in the field of dentistry.

Simplyhealth: 'we can be bothered'

I mean how crap is that? Obviously their marketing types couldn't be bothered with coming up with anything better.

Sex Panther - "60% of the time it works everytime"

Isn't the 'product' thing because of the way that the word is used as a proper noun by hair-people, not as a common noun like... err, like other people? Clearly whatever stuff they are offering you is 'a product', but the word seems to be used in that context a way that suggests 'product' is a kinda thing in it's own right, like 'A Product'. I've assumed that's what it is anyway, so I'd be similarly annoyed by it if that is the case (in principle at least, given that I cut my own hair).

If I let them, I find the public house versions of the dentist sign mentioned above to be an annoyance - I'm thinking of the ones that proclaim 'Good Food Served Here' (or something similar).

I can kinda see the point I 'spose, but A) 'Good' is fairly subjective (but one could always complain after the event I guess), and B) why would they say anything different - saying 'Mediocre Food Served Here' or 'Barely-Tolerable Food Served Here' is somewhat unlikely, at best.

Maybe it's just me? 😉

I have a saddle that boasts that its rails are "FeC alloy". So steel then, yes?

Stewart Lee's attack on Magners Cider's "Give it to me straight like a pear cider made from 100% pear" is great. It's total nonsense but no one seemed to notice before making the advert.

My K2 skis are part of the 'Backside' range. Not BS as such but definately not thought through.

All these items can be found "in store" now. Well which store, where?
[b]Stores[/b] FFS

In my hairdresser/product remark, what I was getting at is that they simply use the term "product", to refer to whatever they seem to have to hand (er hopefully not !) As if magically the customer has the foggiest what "product" is. Naive marketing BS for stuff which is so unimportant, yet it gets raised to some high altar, by the use of the mystery "product" tag.

I think it was Peugeot who used

"Designed without compromise"

which wouldn't make me want one if it was possible, which of course it isn't.

Have never been able to fathom "Never knowingly undersold" ❗

In my hairdresser/product remark, what I was getting at is that they simply use the term "product", to refer to whatever they seem to have to hand (er hopefully not !) As if magically the customer has the foggiest what "product" is. Naive marketing BS for stuff which is so unimportant, yet it gets raised to some high altar, by the use of the mystery "product" tag.

What term would you rather they used. When they ask if you want "some product" in your hair ?

"stuff" maybe ?

Seems like a perfectly good term to use, to save listing all the various options.

And it's hardly "Marketing" seeing as they don't charge for it ❓

How about shampoo or gel or whatever it is?
which leads me nicely on to
SAAB's slogan in the 70s:

[img] [/img]

How about shampoo or gel or whatever it is?

By using the word "product" they are giving you the choice of many different things. Or "products" if you like.

Your choice, gel, wax, mousse, putty etc etc.

Personally I always say, "no thanks". But I don't let the voice of words annoy me.

(ps, after you have had your hair cut, I wouldn't recommend choosing Shampoo as a styling product.)

I quite like Nordic Mythology Technology, it's clearly tongue in cheek surely? Reminds me of some snowboard boots I saw that claimed the design was based on 'pure pseudoscience'.

"Coke is it." most nonsensical and the most genius. Encapturing a whole pile of hippie crap in 3 words.

no it isn't. It's brown sugary water. So what. *goes to vending machine* There is an incredibly powerful brainwashing machine called Advertising and Marketing *goes to vending machine* that will make you do exactly what you think you wouldn't do to relieve you of your cash. This slogan embodies that machine. *goes to vending machine* Your children are next..

I liked Cannondale's "Disc specific design" slogan, found on the seatstay, just below the canti mount.

I am a big fan of Apple writing "Designed by Apple in California" right next to "Made in china" as if the former cancels out the latter.

By comparison, Microsoft just used to have "Hello from Seattle" on the back of their MP3 player (which, surprisingly, was better than the same generation iPod).

Oh and while we're on about misfires... the Alfa Romeo Arna. Marketed as a marriage of Japanese Engineering and Italian style. Someone made a mistake and what they got was...

[img] [/img]

Italian engineering and Japanese style. One of the worst cars ever.

Your choice, gel, wax, mousse, putty etc etc.

Nooooooo, that's all wrong! One is for saddles, one's for candles, one's for eating and the last one keeps your windows in - don't want any of those in my hair thank you very much.

My favourite was for cannibal cat food:

"Cats like Felix, like Felix."