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My daughter is 5 months, generally wakes up between 6.30 and 7.30 and is in bed by 6. If I'm working a long week I rarely see her, which hurts
I sympathise with that, when my kids were much younger I was able to tailor my hours so I could be around at the right times and this got adjusted as they got older and went to school.
I notice from your forum history you have asked about cheapish suits so I guess it's not bankinggood to know I have a stalker, cheapish suits - yes, you don't become wealthy by being flash and wasting your money!
Not stalking (on a regular basis), just thought I might get some idea of your career from your previous posts, to be fair you have posted a utopian picture of your life (that's not a dig at you BTW) one tends to be a tad inquisitive.
TandemJeremy - Member
Guys - LHS has been very open here - don't hit him with a big stick
OK, who's hijacked TJ?
When you work out what I do, can you tell me....
Wow - Ironically too busy working this afternoon to see my parenting decisions called into question. Like LHS says it is about time management. I get up and have breakfast with the children and most nights see them for an hour or two around bedtime before doing a few calls before I hit the sack. If I travel for work then when I get back I spend the next day at home with the children when they get home from school. Weekends are protected and ultimately the only thing that suffers tends to be my stuff.
The benefit for my children is that they have lived in London, Cotswolds and now Singapore and not in some token material goods every once in a while when I have to work late. I happen to think giving them experiences of living in different cultures is a pretty great benefit of me working a few hours more than average.
What is disappointing in the other comments here is in-ability to try and see anything from anybody else's point of view. I am not suggesting that anyone else works more hours I am simply suggesting that I would like to be free to work as many hours as I would like.
Long borough nick, yes there may be benefits to moving around but it also brings its own problems, lack of stability family arguments etc.
Everyone had to make their choices, every choice brings pros and cons, to me you are a long time dead and how many people look back at life and say I wished I spent less time with their family when kids are growing up.
Long borough nick, yes there may be benefits to moving around but it also brings its own problems, lack of stability family arguments etc
In my personal opinion the benefits FAR out-weigh any negatives you think are relevant.
Why does living in a foreign country lead to family arguments?
You don't have to work excessive hours to do this tho.
longboroughnick - if you take compensatory time off then again its no issue.
Why does living in a foreign country lead to family arguments?
I think mainly because I forgot to tell her.....
Why does living in a foreign country lead to family arguments?
Not so much the foreign country more one party having to sacrifice their life. The number of middle aged execs i have met who are now divorced and the common theme is the travel, the relocations etc and the stress it places on any relationship.
Yes there are couples where one party is happy to sacrifice ambition, but there are plenty of others where it simply puts too much strain on the relationship.
I know in part my parents divorce was the result of my dad never being there, never being able to offer support when it mattered.
I lived in Nigeria when I was a kid (10-13) because my parents thought it would be a good experience. It was. My Dad still didn't work particularly long hours though... I don't really get the relevance to a discussion on hours worked.
(incidentally, I was one of the very few Brit kids of that age out there - the rest were all packed off to boarding school if they were in secondary education - I went the American International School out there)
Why does living in a foreign country lead to family arguments?
Think never being there when it mattered, leaving one partner to do everything. Think stressful situation, arguments, etc. Yes there is money and "nice life" but waking up in the night to hear your parents arguing because of hours worked isn't a nice memory.
35 hours a week, 9 to 5, with an hou for lunch (sometimes longer).
In the 9 months since starting my current job I have only had to stay an extra half hour 3 times.
It then takes me 50 minutes to get home and I am able to enjoy dinner with my wife and children 🙂
Think never being there when it mattered, leaving one partner to do everything. Think stressful situation, arguments, etc. Yes there is money and "nice life" but waking up in the night to hear your parents arguing because of hours worked isn't a nice memory.
I guess its different for everyone. We have lived in 4 different countries now, 3 with the kids. We made it a priority to ensure everything was discussed and rationally thought through to avoid arguments. Yes we have had the occassional falling out, but over the usual stuff rather than living in a foreign country.
As I said, everyone is different, but for me the experience that I have been able to give my kids through travel far out-weighs any negatives.
Crikey, this has gone a bit serious! Tiger gets the best posts award!
Back OT, it's 35 for me, with flex time, so any extra I hours I take off elsewhere.
Not going to get embroiled in the absentee parent thing... my parents both worked long(ish) hours from the time I was born, so I was shipped off to childminders and what not constantly, only child too, so lots of time on my tod. I don't think it did me any harm! I always felt I had enough contact with my parents, I've never ever ever argued with them, not once, no raised voices or anything, and thoroughly enjoy spending time with them now, I think it made for a better relationship with them. We had lots of nice holidays and things too, which was good.
LHS, i think sometimes the same drive that makes people think they have to do the hours almost makes them blind to the "bigger picture", i am glad you make it work, i just know that for a lot of people they don't see the problem until it is too late. And as soon as kids get involved in anything it always gets far more complicated.
It probably depends on priorities - I asked to move here because it was what my family and I had decided to do rather than the other way round. I was lucky enough to do something similar as a child and still to this day value and use some of things the experience taught me. So naturally want the same things for my own children.
So far they love it although having your children start to talk in Mandarin because they know you can't understand is not a downside I expected.
TJ - I may or may not be compensated and balance the hours out, who knows I just don't feel the need to clock watch. I count myself very lucky to be in that position and know I am the exception not the rule.
Monday 12
Tuesday 13
Wednesday 13
TJ is Citizen Smith
Currently just 12 a week but will be starting a new job on the 21st working 12hrs a day on a 4 on 2 off pattern 🙂
I just do 9 to 5 plus 1hr commute each way, but I've been stiffed on my holiday entitlement this year. Plan to leave soon job or no job as I hate working rude racists, who have small man syndrome!
I'm shocked that people actually work 9 to 5 & have an hour for lunch. I've never managed to find a job with such short hours.