[Closed] Funny things people newly introduced to cycling say . . .

"Why do you need so many tyres?"

Thats a bloody good question if you ask me

You're going [i]HOW[/i] far.... [i][u]TEN[/u][/i] miles !

Not sure I go along with (or even follow???) the brake / shifter thing

From inboard to outboard I have:- brake, shifter, grip - all butted up against each other.

Works fine for me...

... can shift / brake / steer simultaneously and in comfort

Why do you need so many tyres?"

Thats a bloody good question if you ask me

You're going HOW far.... TEN miles !

I was just going to say that. Mind you.... Any distance over 500 yards tends to elicit this response with most people. Over ten miles, in most peoples mind, seems to represent a circumnavigation of the globe

"How many bikes do you need?"

"I got a full suspension MTB for £200"

"you are so fit and skinny" (compared to them and not other cyclists)

"I've seen this Trek...."

"How many gears has that got?" is usually followed by "Eighteen? My mountain bike has twenty one!".

I regularly get "Is that a downhill bike?" when I'm out on my old Enduro.

SHifters/levers against the grips isn't a faux pas but it is indicative (tho not always an actual fact) that the user has not experimented with their setup and found what works for them. I've seen brake levers pointing up

I've had to point one up once just so I could ride a bike. OK, my arm was in plaster, and I was going stir crazy living at my parents house as an 18 year old with a broken arm (we lived miles from anywhere) and had been told not to drive, after a few days I just grabbed the Allen keys and pointed my front brake lever skywards so I could even attempt to use it at all...

The other brake lever "fail" if there is one, is nearly vertical. I was surprised just how much control this robs you of when I started pointing my levers upwards a bit more after some experimentation.

And as for the comment about if you want your levers where they feel comfortable, you can't reach the shifters. I hear you... But then I'm one of the few people who still finds gear lever windows useful. Though I must concede I've taken the window off on my hardtail (with a 1x10) and run the shifter outboard of the brake lever and it feels a lot better, so I might just have to ditch the lever windows on my full sus too.

Just recently I had "HERE, YOU'RE RIDING DOWN THAT?! MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!" - not sure if that counts...
The thing that gets me though is when you see people wearing their helmets like skullcaps on the back of their head. If they crash, they will have no benefit at all.

newbies don't normally say much to me, either too out of breath going up the 20% climb we take right at the start or quietly grimacing at the pain in their knee/elbow/whatever from the off they had on the techy downhills I've taken them down.

Might not be kind but it soon sorts the wheat from the chaff, if they turn up for a second ride they are serious

MM remembers cold windy night and being forced to ride up San marino/belmont [ is an ex roadie shh]

Remember those who pushed their bikes all the way up with lamus and then pushed them all the way back down again 😉

OT usual
HOw many

from my kids

I only ever want to ride downhill [ dont we all son to some degree]
Can you ride that Daddy? [ I say yes no matter what it is ]
Can we ride like the wind? yes you can son, yes you can
Is this a cheeky trail Daddy ?

I quite like having shifter - brake - grip.

I use my outer 3 fingers (together or individually) for the brakes and I have to admit I still have my shifter windows on 😳

" have you been to the olympics ?"
" do you not fancy doing that tour de france?"

I have actually been asked both of these by bike users.... 😀

" do you not fancy doing that tour de france?"

last time I got asked that, which was less than a week ago, I asked the bloke "do you ask Sunday League footballers when they're playing in the World Cup?"

" do you not fancy doing that tour de france?"

No. I'm scared of needles.

Eggbox, you're either really good, or you're wearing too much Team Lycra 😉
either way i'd take that as a compliment.
Luckily fewer people know about off road riding than road riding so i dunno what they make of us (unless you were also offroad in baggies and massive suspension in which case they're idiots).

My mate who wanted to get into mtb'ing asked for my advice on a bike and then went on to say "I'm gonna buy a DH bike cos I like the look of them and put 27 gears on it so I can go fast up and down"

I tried to explain but he had none of it. Luckily he has since seen sense and bought something sensible.

A few years ago now, picked daughter up from primary school. Had been out riding the forest and was on way home.

Chatting to the headteacher... "out mountain biking? - where've you been?"

Me - "up round the forest, about 12 miles"

Head - "my mate tried that back along - plays rugby, pretty fit, but he reckons you lot are nuts, his lungs were bursting"

Turns out his "mate" palyed rugby for Wales 😳

Had one today:
.
Me: ...I prefer the longer races.
Him: How long is a long race? Ten miles? TWENTY miles?
Me: Anything over about 12 hours really
Him: ?!? (imagine the sound that symbol makes when you say it out loud)

I was explaining uplifts to a girl at work who "has a bike" but I think possibly has never ridden it- any time i mention bikes, she mentions that she has a bike but not what she does with it. Anyway, it didn't go very well. So to see if I could restore some balance, I tried to explain the week we did in france with no uplifts- "Yeah, we rode up a mountain. Tour de france climb, it was, though it's a bit harder on mountain bikes. About 3 times taller than Ben Nevis. It took half a day. Then we rode back down and it took about 40 minutes. Then we had ice cream. What did you do on your holiday? Nothing? Fair enough"

Had one today:
.
Me: ...I prefer the longer races.
Him: How long is a long race? Ten miles? TWENTY miles?
Me: Anything over about 12 hours really
Him: ?!? (imagine the sound that symbol makes when you say it out loud)

Were you literally waving your willy as well or just metaphorically? 🙂

"You ride in the RAIN/WINTER/DARK????"
"You ride a bike to work? At your age?"
*Whilst riding hardtail with 120mm suspension fork and 2.25" nobblies* "Who do you think you are? Lance Armstrong?"

Were you literally waving your willy as well or just metaphorically?

Leave the chap alone, he raised this thread from the dead to flop that cock 😉

I call mine "Eric and Ernie" anyone else have daft comedic names for their brakes??

Hope

When I cycle to work (22 miles and one big hill between work in Greater Manchester and home in Ribble Valley) the guys in the factory look at me as if I've arrived from another universe. "From Blackburn? You must be ****in' mad!"

Blackburn? You must be mad!

from a newbie before, and now my daughter who's just got her first geared bike.

What gear do i need for this hill?

as if it's prescribed somewhere in cycling law, and with experience you can identify a gradient on sight and thus select the CTC/BC approved gear for that gradient.

(for me of course, it's usually the bottom one or the pushing one as soon as there is a gradient 😳 )

neilsonwheels - Member

How many gears has it got.?

This by far followed by:

PJM1974 - Member

"How many gears has that got?" is usually followed by "Eighteen? My mountain bike has twenty one!".

and then "Are 30 gears better?" or "How many gears do I need?" and "Is 10th the best gear to use?" and finally "What's the best bike?".

I gave up trying to explain that 10th gear is an irrelevant term to people that don't care a long time ago 🙂

One I heard this week while fixing a puncture by the trail - "Wouldn't it be easier to fit that wheel if the bike was the other way up?" 😈

One I heard this week while fixing a puncture by the trail - "Wouldn't it be easier to fit that wheel if the bike was the other way up?"

"well i was just riding along and it broke"
normally said by someone who has turned every screw and adjusted cables on their mechs then riding and wrapping the rear mech straight into the wheel.
Then followed by "nah i didnt touch anything"

I get this all the time:

"I'd like on of those, but I'd want to fit a padded gel saddle to it".

I've tried explaining that too much padding makes for a sore harris, but they usually look at me strangely. I don't bother to explain padded shorts.

"you are so fit and skinny" (compared to them and not other cyclists)

I get this, and I am genuinely pretty awful at mountain biking.

None of my mates do it though so I think when I say I've 'been mountain biking' they're thinking of Youtube vids of people hucking bikes of 30ft drops in Utah somewhere and not me riding around some muddy tracks near Marple. Of course, I don't correct them.

i was walking with a friend in sheffield, whilst pushing my trials bike along. Some kids (probably from rotherham 😀 ) are eyeballing my bike and keep asking, is this part expensive, is that part expensive, etc. They were amazed that i had a wheel from OnOne who are 'dead cool'.

For the rest of that day I felt really rad

riding up consitution hill in swansea on my commuter and pass a chap at the top.

Him: "bloody hell that looked like hard work"
me: "ye it was pretty tough"
him: "and you did it on a bike without suspension!"
me: "...er, ye"

*Is Birches Valley this way ?*
*Is The Monkey this way ?*
*How do I get to the car park* ?-
Which car park ?
*Er...*

HansRey - Member

i was walking with a friend in sheffield, whilst pushing my trials bike along. Some kids (probably from rotherham ) are eyeballing my bike and keep asking, is this part expensive, is that part expensive, etc.

I hate to break it to you, but they were sizing you up to decide if it was worth stealing, and your answers meant they decided it wasn't worth the hassle 😉

"did you get air off that pebble"

"I need some new...." after one ride.

"Who put a hill on a mountain!"