I went out today under a blazing sun on my road bike, about 70 miles and 700m of height gain. Cambridge to the Blue Egg cafe and back if you know it.
And my body is now broken.
The thing is, next weekend I'm supposed to be doing the South Downs Way. Winchester to Eastbourne on Saturday, then back to Winchester on Sunday to get the car.
I'm doing it with some old friends, but one is super fit, and the other is a skinny racing snake who has just come back from ten days in the Alps.
I think it's going to hurt a lot, so I need a backup plan to avoid losing face.
I was wondering about mechanical doping, but probably no-one makes a motor that fits into a Singular Swift, and I don't think there's a battery been built large enough to make a meaningful difference given my, ummm, superior weight-to-power ratio.
So perhaps I could get slightly ahead early on, and get just out of sight, and then slip off to a train station? I could keep sending text messages to make them think I'm still just ahead of them, "just round the next corner" and then meet up with them at Eastbourne ("Oh, there you are at last").
Or I could get one of those fake blood bags that actors use, and burst it at some opportune moment and roll around on the ground groaning until they call an ambulance. But that's not ideal because eventually I would have to come clean at the A&E department, and they would be pretty annoyed with me, especially if they had sent out a helicopter to pick me up. Plus I suck at acting and would probably end up just laughing.
Any better ideas?
Are you good at drinking? Maybe suggest a nip of whisky every couple of miles?
Get a puncture. Stop, wave them on, saying "don't stop for me, i'll catch you up. Watch them cycle off, call taxi. Get taxi to take you to a few miles from destination. "catch up" just before they finish........ 😆
Rule #5
Maybe you could put together some kind of system involving magnets?
Use all your energy to get to Eastbourne, retire wounded but with pride in tact and get train back. In any case riding into the prevailing wind (ie to Winchester) doesn't seem the greatest plan - SDW double is quite a ride. Ibuprofen is your friend. Gels too.
Photo from last month just before first peak at Cheesehead for modest inspiration
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Porridge. That's my secret plan. It's not much, but it's all I've got.
Weather looks good.
12h15 on Saturday. It was a bit wet at the start. I tried riding sideways down Harting hill; it doesn't work. We were comprehensively chicked on the long draggy climb after the A27; I heard a cheery "wait, I'll open the gate for you" and a young woman with bright pink running shoes ran past us, opened the gate, and then disappeared up the hill. A very humbling experience.
I finally ran out of steam on the climb out of Alfreston (on the chalky bit after the trees) where I had to sit down and eat a horrid but restorative gel. Why is that section so very hard?
On Sunday we had an excellent breakfast at the golf club at Eastbourne, then headed West, meeting a very fit single speeder along the way who helped drag us up some of the hills around Southease. After a leisurely ride in glorious weather with amazing views we eventually reached Truleigh Hill where coffee and cake was consumed, and we then headed down the hill to Shoreham and took the train back.
Top work OP. I havnt ridden it but it sounds like you almost had fun!
Good effort considering the amount of riding you're doing. Taking each climb in isolation, most aren't any more that 15-20 minutes each, but string them all together and it's a pretty wearing experience. The only puncture I've had in over 1,500km of SDW in recent year was on the descent into Alfriston which scuppered last year's double attempt. Really does sort out the fit from regular riders - my fastest traverse was SSCX but wouldn't have the legs for it at the moment.
Good for you guys nailing singles and doubles on the SDW - I have not even managed a single this year, though the year is far from over....
Fill your backpack with the excuse of always carrying tubes, pumps and tools for others.
When they wait for you at the destination you being late just say you took a poo half way.
