[Closed] another failed attempt

Why were you still there at 6.20 if the alarm went off at 6?

Eating breakfast. Next thing was outside. So close!

^ +1

I find unless I'm out of the house by 0603, then my daughter senses i'm awake and demands that I feed her. Then the cats wake up.....until the whole plan turns to toss.

Ideally I'd like a completely silent version of the machine from Wallace and Grommit, which tips me out of bed, gets me into my riding kit and drops me into the garage onto my bike!

Seriously, anything you can do to speed up leaving the house is worth it's weight in gold. I lay out kit, pack my rucksack, check the bike etc., the night before.

Matt

Rookie error, be up and gone before anyone realises. If I ride early I'll be out the door a couple of minutes after getting up else my son thinks im making breakfast for him...

Yea next time I will just leave. Everything was ready to go apart from loading bike into car. Now dealing with a tired, hungry grumpy toddler. Instead of enjoy a sunrise on my own across the moors. This is the 5th time this year my ride has been cancelled for one reason or anothee

+1 to all above. Most of my rides are like this. Forget breakfast. Have your riding kit ready by the door. Sneak in that direction, ninja-stealth like, and then straight out ftw. Enjoy your hour or so.

It will get better. I'm lay here contemplating a spin. Kids at 11 and 14 so no excuses. Just my glass back holding me back...

And get a road bike. I managed squeeze in a quick 45min blast yesterday after breakfast and before going to the zoo. Up the nearest big hill and back down again. Admittedly in payback my wife was away last night and my son was up with coughing fits about five times last night....

Bike lights and go at night...until they are a bit older you will always have this 'risk' so go out once all 3 are in bed.

Tried to get a cyclocross as ideal for local 'trails' and commute but wife has completely blown her lid about it. But I do want one for a quick blast with no requirement to drive. Wife just came downstairs and said you're running too late to ride now. I asked how she didn't hear our daughter in the next room when I was downstairs?!?!?!

If this morning's ride time has been agreed with your other half then this morning's ride should really have happened absent a good reason not to.

If it was your unilateral choice that you were going that's where you can end up unstuck.

Is Mrs coping OK with the two? They are at that age where that are hard work and two is definitely worse than one (it gets easier once they start playing together). Her reaction could be because she's frazzled not because she doesn't care about your leisure time?

Is there any suggestion of pnd?

Are you agreeing leisure/kid free time for both of you? Can you take the initiative and give her a couple of days or afternoons of at the weekend.

Can you take the MTB to work and head off to the trails for a couple of hours without going home in between (90% of my riding)? This works well for us, little impact on family time, it's predictable and is rarely cancelled for anything other than work reasons.

Yeah, definitely get yourself sorted to ride from the door when you are on limited ride time. Even if this means one bike in, one out. Not as good as n +1, but needs must.

And it definitely gets better. Mine now 6 and 4. They'll get up and watch a bit of telly, my eldest took the dry washing off the airers and folded it yesterday before waking us up 😯

I was up at 6:30 with eldest_oab today - he was dragging me up, as he is off to the Borders MTB DH round at Selkirk. The tables have turned.... 8)

Garage-dweller has hit the nail on the head. Try to find an interesting extension to your commute too - always helps. I've kids the same age as yours, so know what you're feeling.

Or try to all get involved. My wife is anything but a cyclist, but will happily potter along while I tow the kids in a trailer, and then sit eating an ice cream or cake with them while I do a short "proper" ride. Works even better if there's a playground nearby... Sherwood pines is ideal for this...

Otherwise, get up earlier, keep your kit by the door, ride from home to avoid the wasted packing & driving time. Maybe get a trials or BMX bike so you can nip out for a short play anytime - even makes going to the corner shop an interesting session of learning manuals and 180s off kerbs...
Good luck!

What you need, is not a road bike, it's a pair of balls. If your wife is going mental about you going biking, then a conversation is required, that's not a good place to be.

There's a little give and take required. My Mrs knows that I WILL generally go for at least one ride over a weekend. That could be first thing in the morning but she isn't really a morning person so it is usually as soon as she gets up.

Either or that or come to an arrangement that she gets up early with the kids one morning while you nip out for a ride and then the following day you get up with the kids while she has a lie in.

And yes - it does get better.

Nobeerinthefridge had hit the nail on the head.

We have two kids and have always tried to be understanding about each others hobbies and free time otherwise it just doesn't work.

I was up yesterday doing 75 miles on the road bike and she is out now running a half marathon.

Ordinarily I'd be out already, especially such a nice morning, but have Beavers Church Parade this morning.
As said though, have to have kit set out for stealth manoeuvres.

Had a spin round yesterday, to the park on my still heavily mud encrusted semi fat SS.
Whilst sat in the park a chap comes rolling past towing a child trailer, on an equally mud encrusted SS. Knowing, respectful glances were exchanged, a bit like stray dogs meeting, but there was no sniffing of backsides involved.

Same problem with me. Happened to me quite a few times as well. You will get used to the disappointment soon.

My solution is to get everything ready the night before including loading the bike in the van and getting something that I can eat in the van.

Also have a cross bike for the quick local blasts pre breakfast (just got back from that)

OP does the other half get free time as well?

Take up running, much better when you have young kids

Definitely no pnd. She is happy as can be.

She has always been obstructive to cycling. Just one of those things. Says it Takes time away from us/family. Which is why I try to go early.

When I say her hobby is our kids i really am not kidding. I have tried to get into other things but she just isn't interested. Nothing makes her happier than our kiddies. Which is great unless she doesn't hear them at 6:20am

Tried all the arrangements thing. Got up early all last weekend and yestersy

I have three kids and get out when I can. getting out without the kids in important for both parents. Your wife is being selfish so unless she has a serious case of PND she needs to MTFU. One thing is we often go to comrie croft as a family as there is stuff for the wife and middle child to do while the baby (around 5-6 months last year when weather was nice) was happy. So long as your wife gets time on her own without the kids there shouldn't be a problem.

If I try and go out early I go out the back door as the front one squeaks, have suggested oiling it but the boss likes the squeak so she can tell if any of the wee ones are escaping.
Don't think I've been out this year yet with one thing or another just a few late night sessions on the trainer to try and keep my legs from seizing up.

Suggest a Scandinavian Au-pair.. should open all sorts of riding options.

No kids here so can't empathise but you do deserve some you time.
Book a ride in, tell her you are doing it so she can prepare then ride whatever happens.
I should imagine you have to hold the fort while she gets her hair done .
After all ,you being fit ,healthy and happy is to your families benefit.

Just take it in turns and plan. I am home alone with the 3 year old and the 6 month old for three days whilst my wife is away. Means I've earned some credits .

If you hvae tried everything to make this work and your wife genuinely has nothing else but you and the family, then you need an uncomfy chat with her and get your needs on the table and factored in.

If it is 'all about the kids' then you are going to get shot down at every chance - so either announce you are now working an extra 1.5 hours each day and won't be in until later (and go ride your bike then) or get an arrangement where you can ride your bike.

If it isn't talked about (apart from on a bike forum where most folk will be sympathising but also thinking 'ride your bike!') then is is just going to get worse - you'll end up considering road riding and running - FFS - no-one needs either of those in their life! 😉

Spent last night doing laps of centreparks with the boy and buggy. I'll be lucky to make it through the day no chance of a ride.

Spent last night doing laps of centreparks with the boy and buggy. I'll be lucky to make it through the day no chance of a ride.

So many euphemisms in one post. Bravo (and possible high 5)

Actively encourage your OH in a hobby / interest.
Mrs Cloudnine started getting into running last year. For Christmas i gave her an entry into a half marathon. She has started training for it so obviously i get my turn to go out riding bikes.

Trailer and take one or both kids with you.

Her hobby is your kids, except when it's inconvenient for her at which point you have to drop everything?

Which is great unless she doesn't hear them at 6:20am
Tried all the arrangements thing. Got up early all last weekend and yestersy

So just go, it was arranged. She'll hear your daughter in due course and sort her out, you didn't know she was screaming, you'd left. Unless she was awake and knew you were still there, but thought she'd sabotage your plans...

Doesn't sound healthy to me. She has no other interests so you're not allowed to?

For those first few years, I found you have to be very crafty. I used to book the odd half days holiday (shush, don't tell mrs asbrooks) and get out that way. It was easier for me as half the commute is by car.

She has always been obstructive to cycling. Just one of those things. Says it Takes time away from us/family. Which is why I try to go early.

I don't think that's anything to do with the kids. I've had the same argument without kids. She wants you to herself. But at the end of the day, you [i]need[/i] at least a little bit of time away from that. Otherwise it's going to turn into a constant source of stress and resentment. It's not healthy and she needs to understand that.

I've cancelled overnight trips on the day, struggle to get a morning every two weeks, don't have time to look at the bike. Rarely get time to come on here anymore.

It's all very depressing but hoping for better with longer nights

I'd have been out of the bloody door whether she was stood there or not. In the same way that I played football and cricket for years before I turned to bikes. She's got you by the bollocks and she loves to squeeze them - it's time for a talk.

Sounds like you need a new wife!
Give your kid a redbull and a kazoo, and leg it

She has always been obstructive to cycling.

Some have even booted me into touch once the full scale of the biking "thing" has been fully mapped out. Apparently cycling isn't a proper job. Not in the UK anyway.

Her hobby is your kids, except when it's inconvenient for her at which point you have to drop everything?

Get the kids outdoors and playing / trailering / riding as soon as they are old enough. Consider it an investment for the future and also counts as you doing "family time".

Then wind on 10 years - Just done a stupid fast 1.5 laps of Gisburn today being seriously stretched by my 13 year old son. Feeling properly battered but couldn't be happier 🙂

She has always been obstructive to cycling. Just one of those things. Says it Takes time away from us/family. Which is why I try to go early.

This would concern me - if it relates to all outside activities not just cycling. We all need a little time for ourselves.

My wife has many qualities, but one thing she still hasn't fully grasped at 35 is that people are DIFFERENT. Now in our house this does not manifest in the same way as the OPs because mine also likes biking and swimming, but it does in other ways.

She likes/needs 'chatting', I don't - she doesn't get this (I still do it because it matters to her).

I'm an introvert, I need time on my own to recharge. She doesn't and consequently doesn't get why I do.

She likes to point out everything anyone does wrong, which grates somewhat but to be fair she points out her cock ups too. I'm content to (usually) not say anything. Just different characters.

So it sounds like because your wife doesn't need biking time or time alone or time away from the kids, she doesn't get it that you do, and thinks that you are just wrong, when actually it's just that people are not all the same.