Forum menu
Me and the ex split in may this year and had a mortgage together.
I moved out and she still lives at the house. When we split we were 1 year into a 3 year fixed mortgage and i looked into getting out of it. It was however going to cost me some silly amount of money in early settlement fees and through a bit of finicial advice decided it would be better to carry on paying half the mortgage.
Today i found out she is moving her new boyfriend into the said house. I wasnt consulted and obviously i still have a finicial interest in this house.
Where do i stand legally on this?
Surely i would have a say in this. I am currently paying rent at my new house and half the mortgage of my old house and am struggling finicially to pay all the bills.
Does the new boyfriend have to pay me rent?
Any advice would be gratefully received
She lives there, you don't, but you are paying half the mortgage? You've been getting shafted ever since you moved out.
Get the house sold as soon as you can. It's a bit late now but it would have been better if you had not moved out until the house was sold, or she bought you out
what he said ^^^, that's madness paying half when you are not living there 8O..get it sold or get her to buy you out and her take on the mortgage..thats what you should've done in the 1st place imo. can you get backpay from when you moved out..?
Move in with the new boyfreind, youll most pprobably find more in common, football, sport, women , cycling etc than you did with her.
stop paying?
if you name is on the deeds then you are entitled to 50% of the proceeds of the sale, just make sure she doesn't default,
if she kicks up a fuss say you are going to move back in to protect yoru equity
You need a solicitor mate
You're not being shafted, but as long as your not in negative equity there is no reason not to sell now.
if your ex has moved someone in matters little as you'll still get 50%* of any profit..if there is any profit
* as long as there isn't something i don't know- eg like your ex's dad putting up 50k when you bought
Unless the boyfriend volunteers to pay rent I strongly suggest you go and see a solicitor ASAP
You need a solicitor mate
What for? someone else to take a slice of the pie?
oh btw, he doesn't have to pay you rent, if the ex is on the deeds then she can have who she wants in the house
No everything is 50/50 in terms of what we put in and owe. I have no issue if he was to pay some sort of rent but in their eyes they have done nothing wrong and i am being made to look the idiot for even suggesting it.
'oh btw, he doesn't have to pay you rent, if the ex is on the deeds then she can have who she wants in the house'
I think having someone in the house and having someone living in the house is a different matter
they haven't in the eyes of any law
morally maybe, but hey ho, you moved out, she moved on,
just get the house sold
'oh btw, he doesn't have to pay you rent, if the ex is on the deeds then she can have who she wants in the house'I think having someone in the house and having someone living in the house is a different matter
no difference, she can have who she wants there
Trojan. Long term you want to sell the property, right?
You should be looking into selling asap, it really will be the most sensible thing to do.
You have 3 options
1 sell now. share any equity or loss
2 let your ex buy you out. good option, if she can afford it.
3 leave her in the property and see what happens.
I'm pretty sure your mortage agreement will have a clause about sub letting, if the boyfriend is paying rent. It may even have a clause of letting the lender know of anyone living there apart form you and your ex, regardless.
Interesting in how many people leave the house. Why didnt she leave? From my experience I didnt leave the house I had every right to be there. She left, I kept house /wave
My advice would have been to stay and sell up or she could have left.
Been there mate
Forget solicitors they only drain you of money!! Forget getting him to pay rent it ain't gonna happen
Tell her to buy your share or put the house on the market, keep putting pressure on her yourself its far more effective than a solicitors letter.
Get her to pay the full mortgage for a few months to see what happens, it may trigger her to pull her finger out to get something sorted.
Get the house on the market. If she wants to she can buy you out. If she can't afford it, that's not your problem.
The longer you leave it the more you're going to be taken for a ride.
It's over and she's moved on. Draw a line under it and get the get out of the mortgage.
what steve says but stop paying the mortgage it forces her hand to sell/negotiate or at least makes it cost neutral for you in the short run. I would not be paying 50 % whether there was a boyfriend or not.
Ps Dont actually expect her to be in any way reasonable about any of this .
Are you only 1 year into the mortgage totally?
If so, I'd just get her to take you off it & walk away, wiser but with your mental health intact
My Ex took half the profit on my old house, even though her net contribution was probably about 3K.
Still the best 14K I ever spent though.
You can't expect him to pay rent, she's moved on and has a new bloke who's moved in. But yes get it sold if your not in negative equity, I'm not so sure about stopping your payments it may backfire.
No everything is 50/50 in terms of what we put in and owe. I have no issue if he was to pay some sort of rent but in their eyes they have done nothing wrong and i am being made to look the idiot for even suggesting it.
Its not 50/50 though is it, she isn't paying half your rent, but you're (in effect) paying half her rent. Maybe she should be paying half your rent to even it up?
Try and detach yourself from the emotional quandary and look at the house as if it were an investment. Do you want to cash in that investment now or wait some time and see if it goes up/down ? If you're happy to wait then keep stomping up the 50% and go ride your bike, otherwise tell the ex you want to sell and put the ball in her court.
Having READ your original post and noted the fact you are tied into a fixed rate then I feel your options are:
A, Carry on paying, knowing that money going in is paying it off so when you come to sell in 2 years you will get your share and the mortgage will also be 2 years less and IF the house prices have increased you may even have some gain to those 2 years of payments - be careful though as she could try and claim a higher share against costs of maintaning the house etc.
B, Get the house valued, offer her a settlement figure based on the value of the house minus a little bit for fees of selling the house and making the offer a bit sweeter.
C, Decide that the clauses for ending the fixed rate are worth spending to get this ended and allow you to move on and sell the house
If it was me I would do B first, then really consider the pro's and Con's of A and C. This is also dependent on your own circumstances, are you able to make those payments, is this stopping you from buying a house, moving on in your life etc.
You need to park the emotional piece to one side, until you've sorted the money out.
Sit down and work out the various financial scenarios, with pros/cons and risks plus likelihoods.
As a warning though; when I met my (now) wife she'd already moved out of her old married home as her and the ex had split before I knew her. Both names on the mortgage. He said that he'd pay the bills. About 2 years later she got a court date through the post - turns out he hadn't been paying the mortgage..., and of course she never got any letters as they were only (this was a fair few years ago) sent to the first name on the mortgage. This last piece was very annoying, as she had contacted the mortgage company on a number of occasions, and given then her new address (we'd moved to Germany) as she had 'concerns'.
Eventually the house was reposessed, and she ended up with about £4k - and a crap credit rating.
You've already found out that the mortgage will cost cash now to pay off, but it'll take '2 to tango'. If your ex is not in a position to take it on, or if she doesn't want to - you're pretty stuffed. At this point you may be better paying for legal advice.
As for the new b/f paying rent, 😳 yeh, right.
You could just move back in, but then she may decide that you are a 'threat', and get a restraining order - then you'll be more stuffed than ever before.
Once you've worked out the scenarios, you need to speak with her - at this point you need to take the emotional side out and keep the conversation along the lines of 'moving on'.
I was in this same predicament many years ago.
Walking away would have cost us both a lot.
We agreed to halve the cost of both the mortgage & my rent. We did this & when the mortgage tie-in had ended it was settled.
My ex moved someone in, but we remained on good terms so things worked ok.
Things change though mate. Her new chap might want to buy you out anyway.
Rent the house out to a 3rd party (if it covers your costs) and split the proceeds. Both of you can then seek alternative accomodation. This is the only fair way under the circumstances (as far as I can tell)
Friend at work. He dropped the bombshell and moved in with his new woman leaving her in the lurch.
He wants her to buy out his equity/share and has STOPPED giving her money towards the mortgage.
In your situation OP she may simply default on the mortgage but then she would be homeless.
Thing is, you both have to agree to a sale dont you?
TAKE LEGAL ADVICE.
Cheers for the advice everybody.
Just for clarity this is not an emotional thing for me, it is just me looking after my own finicial intrests.
I am going to have to seek legal advice as the commuication channels are now close 😕
Just a couple of thoughts from me.
A lot of this advice is sound. The only thing I would add is it is a good idea to amend your paper work asap.
For example people often forget to amend items such wills etc during the interim period of seperation (both from marrage and partnership). If anything happens to one partner (sickness / death)family can become involved and this can make things very strained.
This happend to someone I know and she was left to deal with her ex's parents.............very messy.
Also (and from my own experience) getting out of the property is best and provides closure for everyone.
If communiction between you is strained go through a solicitor (worth the money in my view to ensure everything is done properly - and it does show intent).
It might be best to offer her the first option to buy - and set some time lines / deadlines for her to arrange this. If she is not going to buy you out - are you interested in buying her out? That's one for you. But be clear with her on the outcomes you want - buy from her / sell to her / sell to a third party.
Closure and clarity of outcome are the best things to aim for.
Good luck.
How much is the early settlement fee?
Problem is if you buy her out she could become very very lax about moving out and become a sitting tenant.
Good call on sitting tennant Hora........
The early settlement fee is approx £3500. With addional selling fees on top this it could put me into negative equity as i have only had the mortgage for just over a year
How hard is it to surrender all interest in a property i.e. remove your name/from the mortgage?
The person who handled the mortgage ap for you OP- could you speak to them and explain a 'hypothetical' situation?
I'd be tempted to talk to her and explain that you want to surround your interest in the property ammicably and walk away and will be ceasing yourside of the payments.
If she is a working professional with this boyfriend who I assume is the same they might be more than delighted that you are getting off the scene.
After all, on the flipside who would want a 'landlord' etc who is also your ex with an interest in your home?
This is of course assuming they are normal working professionals and not wasters/chancers.
went through a similar thing earlier this year, i took legal advice before moving out and they key message was [u]don't[/u] move out.
this may not be helpful at this stage except it may iterate that you need to get legal advice.
essentially you can not force her to sell* the house and while you are paying half the mortgage and not there why would she?
*a court can tell her she has to but will never force it through.
the best advice is probably to sell now and take the hit on the fee. if she wont agree to sale then move back in.
that is a good plan Hora, but i believe it would be classed as a new mortgage and ceasing the old one. i.e. still have to pay the fees.
it would be like selling it to your partner so the only thing you save are estate agent fees.
plus she may not be able to get a mortgage for the property on her own income.
Another thing to remember is that if you were not married then the rules on who gets what are different. You go away with what you put in so if one person put in more equity then that person is entitled to a bigger chunk of the proceeds of any sale etc.
Easiest option would be to sell up. It would really bug me to think I was effectively supporting her new boyfriend.
if she wont agree to sale then move back in
In our third year of uni we lived in a house with the landlord/landlady. He lived upstairs and her in the back with her new boyfriend.
It was wierd (but cheap).
That could be an idea, mention you are struggling to pay rent/mortgage and you are going to have to move into the house. Then see if she will say her/fella will front the total monthly. Its worth trying.
Hora, you don't really have any idea about what you are talkng about, do you? 😀
Trojan, i can give you legal advice on your problem. mail me if you want to
Come to think of it. My work is being royally shafted.
She wants to stay in the house. Hes moved out and STOPPED paying his half of the mortgage and wants his share of the equity asap.
Shes having to pay all the costs for transfering him out etc all because she wont agree to his inflated valuation of how much the property would sell for.
4 estate agents gave £130-140k valuations. He wants 140k however other houses in the area are on for 130k MAX. ridiculous.
Steve- if you've got any advice for my workmate as well? 🙂
She is being bullied and shafted.
Steve YGM
thanks
Does the mortgage company know you have moved out, I would check the terms of your mortgage as this could be against the policy, also having the boyfriend living there could have implications, I say this because a lot of policies do not allow you to let the property.