I’m on a cycling holiday with my other half in Majorca. We were pedalling home from the pub today and a group of about 20 overweight middle aged men decided to pull out in front of me and the lady on a round about, causing both of us to swerve violently, because god forbid they wouldn’t want to slow down and ruin their 16mph average pace
This place really is full of absolute clowns who, despite being grossly out of shape, seem to think because they are on holiday they are riding in the Tour de France, and normal rules of the road don’t apply
Rant over..
2 out of 10 for this rant.
No uppercase sentences. Did you even shout at anyone, or wave your fist?
Tbf I shook my fist at the group of mammals and uttered an obscenity under my breath…surely that bumps it up to a 3 or 4 at least?😂
I'm not sure if it was the pulling out in front of you or the fact they were carrying a bit of timber thats upset you the most.
If they were svelt, would you have fancied them more?
Nice humblebrag.
Relax and enjoy your holiday, perhaps head to the pub 😉
I’m not sure if it was the pulling out in front of you or the fact they were carrying a bit of timber thats upset you the most.
If they were svelt, would you have fancied them more?
Was going to say the same - if their arses had been a more pleasant site would you have felt better about being pulled out in front of?
OP was probably going round the roundabout the wrong way after a few in the pub!
It's notable how shit the average British MAMIL is at basic cycling etiquette when you go to places like Majorca etc.
I was in Spain a couple of weeks ago and out with a group of 5 mates. It was embarrassing how bad they were at a basic 2-up group ride. There were loads of pros out there that we saw and they were smooth and effortless and shoulder to shoulder, neat and tidy.
That said, the Germans were pretty abysmal too.
I'm not sure if it's just that trying to do a group ride in the UK is a constant mix of singling out, doubling up, swerving round potholes, stopping for lights/junctions etc and we just don't get the chance to do anything "properly".
Did you jot down their licence plate to check if they had licences and insurance? Were they wearing hi-vis?
Sounds like you left the pub way too early if they lycra-clad giffers were still out.
Where do I start.
- Body shaming, do you have to conform to an ideal body image to go cycling?
- Ageist, is age a barrier to being able to ride a bike?
- Speedist, does one have to maintain a certain speed before they are allowed to ride near you?
nope.. I’d have been equally enraged if they had been racing snakes, because they almost caused my missus to swerve into a car in the other lane.
however, in my experience, the racing snakes tend to be the ones who have been cycling for a while and actually follow the rules of the road, whereas those who don’t tend to be middle aged fatties ..
perhaps it’s just a coincidence..
Also...and it might not be relevant....I seem to remember in spain a group of cyclist counts as one vehicle. So if the first in the group has right of way you have to give way to the whole group as if it was a single entity.
Where do I start
None of those. But you do have to display a bit of common courtesy to other road users, and not scare the crap out of my lady because you are an ignorant clown
if you do you are fair game to be insulted..
and it might not be relevant
it’s not. I was on the round about before the first rider had entered it. We then had to a screech to a halt as 20 riders ploughed in front of us.
It's ok to be upset about their behavior, personal insults about their age and body type are not particularly nice.
Also…and it might not be relevant….I seem to remember in spain a group of cyclist counts as one vehicle. So if the first in the group has right of way you have to give way to the whole group as if it was a single entity.
This - a group of cyclists gets treated the same way as a lorry or other long vehicle. You can be on a roundabout and making progress around it but if the head of a peloton can emerge safely, you (already on the roundabout) HAVE TO slow down/stop if necessary to let the whole peloton through.
That in itself has caused incidents with British riders who assume they have to give way to the left. I remember riding in Portugal once and the front of the group got onto the roundabout then the guy midway down the line slammed his brakes on and caused my gf (cycling behind him) to go straight into the back of him. She knew the rules and was expecting everyone to just go through, the guy in front had been told the rules but maybe instinct took over.
Surely you'd be happy that you can now sit on the wheel and have a group to pull you home?
personal insults about their age and body type are not particularly nice.
Well I hope they don’t read this then as I’d hate that they were offended..
What club kit were they wearing?
we just don’t get the chance to do anything “properly”.
I miss the km signs for casual through-and-off changes. Our club struggles with two-by-two social riding rather than continuous changing.
This place really is full of absolute clowns who, despite being grossly out of shape, seem to think because they are on holiday they are riding in the Tour de France, and normal rules of the road don’t apply
That's kind of how Mallorca is really. Great roads but some terrible riding. Last time I was there I turned back en route to do Sa Colobra after one too many on-coming, blind bend, suicide overtakes. It reminded me a bit of the Isle of Man during TT week. There are plenty of other places with amazing riding but without the crowds.
It’s notable how shit the average British MAMIL is at basic cycling etiquette when you go to places like Majorca etc.
It's the reluctance to use the proper Spanish spelling for the place that gets me, proper Club 18-30 heritage stuff. I expected better of you 😉
ps: don't pretend it was irony, we all know the truth 🙂
That said, the Germans were pretty abysmal too.
They're generally not allowed on the road so have little experience. Used to guide and drive for a German tour company. Some of the road etiquette and road manners was shocking.
Body shaming, do you have to conform to an ideal body image to go cycling?
Body shaming is just another form of encouragement.
What club kit were they wearing?
didn’t notice, was too busy being angry and checking my lady hadn’t been crushed under the pick up on the inside lane. Otherwise I’d be writing a strongly worded letter to their club secretary..😂
In all seriousness however, as has been said, the standard of cycling and road etiquette in general over here is abysmal. And tbf it’s not just larger groups of mamils. For those that know port de pollenca there is a cycle lane along the promenade. There is a triathlon event on this weekend and the number of folks hammering along on the aerobars at well over the 20km/h limit is shocking. It’s an accident waiting to happen
I blame Strava..
It’s notable how shit the average British MAMIL is at basic cycling etiquette when you go to places like Majorca etc.
To be fair, the average Mamil is pretty bad in the UK as well
I’m not sure if it’s just that trying to do a group ride in the UK is a constant mix of singling out, doubling up, swerving round potholes, stopping for lights/junctions etc and we just don’t get the chance to do anything “properly”.
Possibly true, unless you have access to an off road circuit it's not easy to teach it to people, our club is open to ideas if anyone wants to share.
Our club struggles with two-by-two social riding rather than continuous changing.
Thank goodness for that, thought it was just us!
2 out of 10 for this rant.
I think it's worth 4/10. Even without the random capitals.
Go on, give us a Google maps link to the junction with some colored arrows to indicate which way you and your missus were traveling vs the MAMILS so we can properly critique your rant
I miss the old rants. There was a certain entertainment to people self-pwning with a map. In keeping with tradition OP needs to follow the people home and hammer frozen sausages into their lawns.
I think it’s worth 4/10. Even without the random capitals.
why thank you. I’m glad someone appreciated it..no way it was only a 2…
Do they have roundabouts there? Just checking as it seems to be a UK thing where other countries give way to traffic coming onto the round bit. Roundabouts the approaching traffic have to give way but if they don't have roundabouts (can't recall the name.for the other thing) then they would be expecting you to stop for them...
I have no idea if they are called roundabouts, but they sure look like them. And they have a line across the road before you enter them just like in the uk
and just like in the uk, if you pulled out into one infront of a truck and expected it to stop you’d end up dead in short order..
##ck that, I hire a car when I'm over there, beaches, jumping off the pedalo, feeding bread to the fish, factor 50, restaurants , swimming pools,wtf are you doing on a bike, it's a busman's (bikemamil's) holiday
Nobodies mentioned frozen chorizo, hammer and garden yet, 2/10 for the responses as well
ahem..
I miss the old rants. There was a certain entertainment to people self-pwning with a map. In keeping with tradition OP needs to follow the people home and hammer frozen sausages into their lawns.
In my experience German cyclists on holiday in Europe wearing full team lycra, but wearing sandals, flat bars and sitting a bit too straight. Often w a kickstand
Do you always refer to your partner as my lady...seems a bit weird to me...how much did you pay for her?
Should be m’Lady surely Parker?
Talking about Spanish traffic, I’m very impressed with car drivers attitude to cyclists here, very respectful, loads of space. The complete opposite to Italians.
Talking about Spanish traffic, I’m very impressed with car drivers attitude to cyclists here, very respectful, loads of space. The complete opposite to Italians.
The Spanish generally seem to get into cars and sort of chill out. The Italians get into cars and go mental.
French are a kind of middle ground where they only go mental in certain situations. Driving around the Arc de Triomphe for example, they go absolutely bonkers. 500m down the road they're all calm and relaxed again.
Usually if you get a close pass in Spain, it'll be a British tourist in a hire car, struggling to cope with left hand drive, roadsigns in Spanish, speed limits in kph and just generally being a shit driver anyway.
however, in my experience, the racing snakes tend to be the ones who have been cycling for a while and actually follow the rules of the road, whereas those who don’t tend to be middle aged fatties ..
Nah.. It's Stirling Bike Club. I, another adult and half a dozen kids were charged down and shouted at for being on the road in front of our own club's "Fast Ride" group. This on a blind bend, single-track road in the Trossachs. What they would have done if we had been an average Sunday morning tourist in a car....
It’s ok to be upset about their behavior, personal insults about their age and body type are not particularly nice... IF they're poor defenceless cyclists, but not if they're motorists/some other group STWers don't approve of.
I’m calling you out on this one. I am a 47 year old bloke who has put on a bit of weight in the last couple of years but still likes cycling and wants to get back into it.
I also fancy going on a cycling holiday to somewhere like Majorca.
I am however a bit self conscious and am stuck in a loop of not wanting to go out in road kit until I’m in shape, but am staying out of shape partly because of not doing so and partly out of low self esteem. I also see an others put off due to the perception of an elitist, judgemental attitude of other like you show.
The lack of respect that you claim this group showed by daring to pull out on you is nothing compared to the lack of respect that your post displays.
Attitudes like the one you’re showing in your OP are pretty hurtful and small minded - quite frankly you can just f*** right off and get in the sea, you ageist, elitist, body shaming twunt.
Rant over.
“Really?”
Yes. Which is why I wrote it.
Edit - actually possibly not as being put in physical danger is clearly worse.
But I am still pretty peed off at the OPs need to body shame, call out age etc. not nice.
...call out age...
If we tidy up MAMIL, what would it be? People In Lycra? People In Sporting Shorts?
Edit: This is not directed at anyone; just musing.
I’m calling you out on this one. I am a 47 year old bloke who has put on a bit of weight in the last couple of years but still likes cycling and wants to get back into it.
I also fancy going on a cycling holiday to somewhere like Majorca.
I am however a bit self conscious and am stuck in a loop of not wanting to go out in road kit until I’m in shape, but am staying out of shape partly because of not doing so and partly out of low self esteem. I also see an others put off due to the perception of an elitist, judgemental attitude of other like you show.
The lack of respect that you claim this group showed by daring to pull out on you is nothing compared to the lack of respect that your post displays.
Attitudes like the one you’re showing in your OP are pretty hurtful and small minded – quite frankly you can just f*** right off and get in the sea, you ageist, elitist, body shaming twunt.
Rant over.
I was waiting for a punchline..... All we got was some geezer getting upset about his waistline.
I'm with whatgoesup TBH
The whole MAMIL thing is just ****. Are we basically saying that MAMIShellSuits is fine, MAMInBed being a lazy shite is fine etc etc. they should know their place. How dare they go out and actually try to get and enjoy some exercise in the presence of others.
PS, I do have sympathy for the OP getting cut up by them too.
@alpin - thank you for the considerate support. I hope you have no flaws and are the correct age.
No punchlines here but I do have some frozen sausages and a wooden mallet.
Interesting observation.
We as cyclists are pretty familiar with “othering” I think. Car driver seeing us as different and not worthy of respect or consideration. That generally makes us feel a bit angry.
Well that’s the same thing I felt when reading the OPs description of these other cyclists and as I found commonality with some of the things he said I felt this again.
Do we not think that this is wrong, and should not be doing it ourselves?
as crazylegs has said, I suspect if you knew the rules you'd be in the wrong
however, in my experience, the racing snakes tend to be the ones who have been cycling for a while and actually follow the rules of the road, whereas those who don’t tend to be middle aged fatties ..
perhaps it’s just a coincidence..
Perhaps the larger mass requires more space to change direction or slow down. Like oil tankers.
I am however a bit self conscious and am stuck in a loop of not wanting to go out in road kit until I’m in shape, but am staying out of shape partly because of not doing so and partly out of low self esteem.
That was a joke up above, I am skinny but also slow and old. I'm sure there are those who think I shouldn't be on a bike in lycra but I don't give a toss - and nor should you. Wear what you want and sod the judgement of others.
Wear what you want and sod the judgement of others.
Pretty much the antithesis of low self esteem; easy to write but nigh on impossible to do.
I'm guessing there's zero biscuits left now then.
Pretty much the antithesis of low self esteem; easy to write but nigh on impossible to do.
I don't know, I'm starting to get pretty good at it near the end of my forties... or just ignoring the feeling and putting it aside. Think doing sports in public places has helped... and being trim compared to a lot of my peers. Twenty years ago I didn't need to exercise to stay in shape, but now I do... luckily I've plenty of time to exercise as I don't have a social life!
If they're all fat lads then who goes at the back?
I was waiting for a punchline….. All we got was some geezer getting upset about his waistline.
Paunchline Shirley?
Groups of cyclists on roundabouts and intersections.
Cyclists when travelling in groups have priority – all of them, from first to last – on roundabouts, as well as in the rest of the intersections, when the first of the cyclists has already entered it.
Love that trailing comma.
Did you bother to ask any of the offending lardarses whether they drove an Audi or BMW when back home ? That information would probably have explained it all to you.
If they were only going 16mph and near a junction could you not anticipate that there were not going to slow down by looking at their lack of speed change/slowing down and avoid the need to cycle into oncoming traffic?
Yeah, I am victim blaming, but riding a bike on the road takes a good level of anticipation if you don't want to end up in accidents even if they would not be technically your fault so a lesson for you there.
@alpim Are Germans not allowed to ride bikes on the road?
The last time I went to Mallorca, it sort of did feel like a bit of a training ground for Mamils trying to get to the dizzy heights of 17mph averages. Didn't have any incidents at roundabouts but the worst road (by a mile) was up to the beach at Cap Formentor, coaches full of touristica, locals trying to overtake, riders single and in groups, it was pretty hairy.
I’m on a cycling holiday with my other half in Majorca.
Other destinations available, but there might not be pubs and wall to wall sunshine and cyclist friendly roads.
Think about why you are there, you are one of them and part of the problem, because the Islands have much more serious problems than bunches of cyclists thinking they own the roads, mainly mass tourism.
because the Islands have much more serious problems than bunches of cyclists thinking they own the roads, mainly mass tourism.
That's becoming a serious issue in both Balearic Islands and Canary Islands. It's exacerbated by cycling - whereas most tourists just go and lie on the beach, the sheer number of cyclists going to these places now means that on certain roads at certain times (like Sa Calobra for example) you literally cannot move for cyclists going up and down.
Locals get irate, accidents happen, there's an undercurrent of annoyance from locals that these cyclists are clogging up "their" roads and from cyclists that the quiet cycling nirvana that they've been promised doesn't actually exist.
Like those Instagram locations that look amazing on a phone screen but when you turn around, there's 1000 people all crowding in trying to get the same shot.
Here I was thinking my 16mph average speed was about to get me signed to the world tour. Devastated.
*Googles skinsuits in XXXL*