I (Amanda), am in the Lake District with Benji and Mark, fumbling around with bikes and cameras. It’s far too rare an occasion that this job actually takes us outside together, and I’d honestly forgotten how refreshing it is to hang out with colleagues outside. I’ve been reminded that Mark is a really good rider, and he’s forgiving of my picky dietary requirements. I’ve enjoyed Benji’s external monologue, where he says all his thoughts and workings-out out loud. And I’ve learnt a few things I’m going to share with you.
Erratic Rocks
Benji has rock tourettes, where he can’t set his eyes on an erratic without declaring ‘Erratic!’. For those as uneducated in geology as me and Mark, erratic rocks are glacial litter. Out of place, not the same kind of rock as the area hosts, and they would probably look like bad artwork if you were to paint a landscape and include one.
How to make Smash Mash
When Mark was 14 years old, he went camping with Scouts. Him and a friend were assigned the task of making the Smash for the group supper, which honestly sounds like such an easy task given that when I was in Brownies I was learning how to do cross-stitch that was neat at the back. Apparently not, though.
Neither of them had made Smash before, so they checked the back of the packed and found a diagram they understood as ‘1 Packet = 6 eggs’. So in a pan went ~6 sachets of Smash and ~30 eggs. They then heated it up and eagerly awaited the mash to form.*
Hot Toddy Recipe
It would be unfair of me to share Mark’s kitchen mistake without sharing my own. This came up because of the current Thunder Fever sweeping the UK, which is basically just the worst hayfever you can imagine, and then some. It’s hard to sleep with sinuses that feel like they’re clogged up with Mark’s Smash, so I was reminded of the first time I ever needed a Hot Toddy, sometime in my early teens.
I asked the nearest person what I needed for a Hot Toddy, to which they replied ‘Whisky, lemon and honey’. So I poured whisky into a mug with lemon and honey, and assumed the ‘hot’ part was the fact I was about to neck a mug full of whisky. I slept well, and found out some time later that you’re to add boiling water to top the mug off.
Constipated Fish
You could be fooled into thinking a fish is dead, when it’s actually just constipated (having eaten Mark’s Smash). The solution is to warm up a pea, take the skin off, mush it up and put it in the tank. This is why we were talking about it:
Anyway, now I’ve highlighted that Benji is probably the most useful staffer to head outdoors with, I’ll get back to my camera work. Happy Friday, everyone! Stay safe, buy real potatoes and a masher, don’t waste your whisky, and send us photos of your favourite erratics.
(Hannah says if you really want good mash, get one of these Smeg blenders with the potato masher attachment. Along with the lifting of the pre-flight covid testing requirements to the USA, this is the best birthday present she got. Super smooth mash without effort. Win.)
*You’re just supposed to add water. The diagram was saying that one packet is equivalent to 6 potatoes.
Cooking tips over… on with the bike stuff!
Camelbak M.U.L.E Commute 22
- Price: £120
- From: Camelbak UK
A mahoosive backpack designed specifically for commuting. It’s got all the features you want in a ride pack – like chest and waist straps, and back ventilation – but with the addition of a laptop sleeve. There’s also a good sized separate section, big enough to fit in a change of clothes and a packed lunch. Reflective panels on all sides help with visibility, and if you’re commute is really long an arduous you can add a bladder for on the go drinks.
Fasst Company Flexx Enduro Alloy Suspension Handlebar
- Price: £324.99
- From: Cyclorise
Yep, flexy bars. Well, flexy in one specific plain (up-down). Not just noodly all over the shop.
We’ve got these bars for someone who’s been struggling with a dodgy wrist/forearm. You might think that having 160mm of fork travel and 2.5in of tyre underneath your hands would be a sufficient solution but take it from us, uncomfortably stiff handlebars are a real thing.
These elastomer-sprung pivoty Fasst bars actually originate from motocross (we seem to recall) where the fork travel and tyre volumes are even bigger.
These bars come with a 30 Day “Ride it, Believe it” money back guarantee. Which is nice.
Granite Design Stash RT
- Price: £64.95
- From: Windwave
The latest iteration of the pop-up ratchet-in-yer-steerer Stash RT multi-tool from Granite Design. You can read all about it here in our story from earlier this week.
Revgrips Pro Series Grips
- Price: £99.99
- From: Cyclorise
Designed-to-wobble grips. Again, possibly not for everyone. But if you’re currently struggling with forearm fatigue and arm pump issues, these could be the grips you’re looking for. We’ll be pairing these with the Fasst handlebars above but not immediately. One thing at a time and all that.
Rad8 507 MTB Sunglasses
- Price: £69.00
- From: Rad8
New fuller frame design from Rad 8. A slight curve in the frame wraps around the face with additional air vents. Rad 8 Polarised lenses. TR90 frame. Lightweight frame and lenses weighing 25g inc. rubber nose bridge.
Huck Insulated Bamboo Insulated Drinking Vessels
- Price: £19.99 for 450ml cup, £18.99 for 280ml mug
- From: Cyclorise
Both of these panda-fodder vessels feature a stainless core to keep your brew warmer (or colder) for longer and is shaped to fit in the international standard measurement known as ‘cup holder’. Complete with an engraved Huck logo. Because brew gives a Huck. Or summat.
Huck Accessory Straps and Drybag
- Price: £22.99 for Huck-E Strap, £18.99 for XC Strap, £19.99 for Enduro Strap
- From: Cyclorise
Different straps for different braaps. These things are ideal for ditching the rucksack (spit!) and strapping all you need for the ride on to your bike frame. Basically, an inner tube and a CO2 plus a dinky multi-tool.
Huck 1L Keep It Dry Bag
- Price: £7.99
- From: Cyclorise
Those of you who used such straps as those above will know all about the potential pitfalls. Namely, your stuff gets covered in filth. And can cease to function properly. This is a dry bag for your bits ‘n’ bobs that still fits the aforementioned straps. Yes! Enduro evolution.
Handske Lightweight Gloves
- Price: £29.99
- From: Cyclorise
We’re getting to the point where everyone knows how to make good non-winter gloves these days. So how do you choose which gloves to go for? Just go with the graphic design and colourways that most float your biggest boat. If you like the capital letter H, big eyes and horns, these gloves from Handske should be on your shortlist.
Slicy Mudguards
- Price: £18.99 for Enduro DH, £21.99 for Enduro-DH Long
- From: Cyclorise
Whilst some dreary, practical-minded, function over form bods have drifted towards boring black hard plastic mudguards, there are thankfully still people who prefer a bit of garish joy in their lives.
Slicy: “No more full plain, soulless mudguards. Thanks to this unique style, the Slicy Enduro-DH Ultimate will help you stand out from the crowd. There is a colour or model for every bike.”
Giro Insurgent Spherical
- Price: £349
- From: Giro UK
New enduro lid alert!
“Built around the advanced protection of Spherical Technology powered by Mips, the Insurgent has been designed for optimum ventilation, comfort, and performance. With 50% better cooling efficiency and 200g lower weight than the Disciple Mips, the Insurgent delivers a new level of full-face protection from Giro.”
E-Thirteen Vario Infinite Dropper Post
- Price: €219
- From: E-Thirteen
Infinite travel gas spring with claimed 20% less force required compared tp rival posts. 3D forged stanchion with integrated head. Extra 12mm of fore/aft saddle adjustment. 28° seat angle adjustment. Tool free travel adjustments in 5mm +/- (30mm range). Internal cable actuated. Cartridge bearing short throw forged alloy lever. 6x5mm travel adjust spacers. Remote not included.
Amp Human PR Lotion
- Price: £35.00 for 300g bottle, £20.00 for 5 x sachets
- From: Upgrade
Claims: “A lotion that delivers bicarb directly to the working muscles via the skin. Decreases muscle soreness and allows for improved performance. Helps combat fatigue during hard workouts.” Good enough for Geraint Thomas, apparently.
Thread Of The Week
Congratulations to walowiz for this very timely reminder of the truly important things in life…
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