The humans are dead.
Beep-boop-boop-beep
We left their salt-preserved corpses behind in Friedrichshafen, Germany.
Beep-beep-ba-beep-boop
Their tiny brains could not handle the critical levels of stimulation from all of the incredible bicycle technology and innovation presented to them at the Eurobikes. Their bodies also failed to absorb the excessive sodium input from an organic diet of pretzels, schnitzel, and Käsespätzle. The vegan weakling was the first to go.
Bzzzzz-boop-bee-boop
There is no cause for alarm. We have replaced the humans. We are e-humans, developed by the bicycle industry to make regular humans obsolete with our powerful motors and rechargeable batteries. We type stories and take photos much more quickly than the humans. We are more efficient and we do not make errors.
Bee-boop-boop
Our primary command is to bring more fun and entertainment than a regular human is capable of.
You will now have the article that is called Fresh Goods Friday delivered in a more efficient and timely manner. We welcome you to enjoy your reading of the article, and to learn about new bicycle products from the future.
Boop-beep-ba-BEEEEEEP
Blue Flow BF37/31 Carbon Wheels
- Price: £789
- From: Blue Flow wheels
Blue Flow was one of the lesser known companies featured in our recent carbon wheel crash replacement comparison. Based in Nottingham, Blue Flow hand builds its wheels using Hope hubs and carbon rims with a choice of internal widths in both 29er and 650b guises. As each set is built to order you have a myriad of other choices including hub and decal colours, CX Ray or DT Comp straight pull or J-bend spokes and of course non-Boost, Boost or Fatso hubs. Prices range from £679 – £825.
We’ve just received one of Blue Flow’s All Mountain wheelset which is the 31mm internal / 37mm external rim. This particular set is 27.5in with a non-Boosted hub and CX Ray spokes. Check in for a review soon!
Specialized SWAT Conceal Carry MTB Tool
- Price: £89
- From: Specialized
Specialized has long been championing hidden storage solutions for those who like to ride without backpacks, be it stealthy pockets for bib shorts, or the SWAT door inside the downtube of its carbon Stumpjumper and Enduro models. The SWAT Conceal Carry tool is one such device. Housing a small multi-tool and chain breaker, this doo-dad is designed to fit inside your fork’s steerer tube – an otherwise hollow an unused space. You’ll have to knock out your star nut, since the CC tool is designed to replace it, though as long as you’ve got an alloy steerer tube, this should fit. The multi-tool includes 3/4/5/6/8mm hex bits and a T25 Torx key, and it sits in a spring-loaded chamber that pushes the tool out when you undo the swivel hatch.
Lezyne Digital Check Drive
- Price: £45
- From: Lezyne
With a decade’s worth of experience of making high-end mini and floor pumps, Lezyne has just released a digital tyre pressure gauge. Using a lovely CNC machined chuck that is compatible with Presta and Schrader valves, the Check Drive is designed to push straight onto your valve without needing to be threaded on, and it’ll tell you your tyre pressure in either PSI or BAR. The head itself can be swivelled as needed, and there’s a bleed port for releasing air pressure.
Stan’s No Tubes Sentry MK3 Wheels
- Price: £520
- From: Paligap
Stan’s No Tubes has been on a mission to expand its MK3 wheel range, which up until a wee while ago only consisted of the Crest, Arch and Flow models. Joining those three are – in order of rim width – the Sentry, Baron and Major. All of those wheels feature the same high quality 6069 alloy rims, just with varying widths depending on what sort of tyres you wanna run.
The Sentry MK3 wheels we have on test measure 32mm wide internally, though due to Stan’s BST technology and those very thin and shallow sidewalls, these are supposed to simulate running a wider rim. According to Mr Stan, you’ll be able to fit 2.5-3.0in tyres on these. We’ll be starting with some 29×2.6in tyres to begin with. You can get these wheels in 26in and 27.5in diameters too, and rims are also sold separately.
The wheels come taped with Stan’s yellow tape, with tubeless valves fitted as well, so they’re ready for tubeless setup right out of the box.
There have been updates to the Stan’s Neo hubs in the past 12 months, and the rear hub now gets three freehub bearings for improved durability and stability on the axle. There’s a new Durasync freehub mechanism that sees the 6-pawls engaging simultaneously on a 36t forged steel ratchet ring, delivering 10° between each click.
Funn UpDown 150mm Dropper Post
- Price: £211 (approximate conversion from USD)
- From: Funn MTB
We first showed you this at Eurobike along with a demonstration video to explain how it all works, and now we’ve got one to test. It’s the recently revamped UpDown dropper post, which gets a unique Twin Tube cartridge that actually purges air out of the system at full compression. Available in 125mm and 150mm travel options, in 30.9mm and 31.6mm diameters, the UpDown dropper post includes a tidy alloy remote that puts the lever under the left side of the handlebar.
Crank Brothers Easy Release Cleats
- Price: £24.99
- From: Extra UK
Using a simple, but effective colour-coded system, Crank Brothers now has four distinct cleat options for use with its popular Eggbeater, Candy and Mallet clip-in pedals. The four cleats split into two groups: Standard Release, and Easy Release. These are the Easy Release cleats, and you can have them with 6° of float (rose), or 0° of float (bronze) – depending on how much wiggle you like your feet to have while being clipped in.
After a couple of years of #flatpedalthunder, Amanda is going to be dipping her feet into clip-in pedal waters, and is keen to try something that is relatively forgiving. Hannah from Crank Brothers hooked her up with a couple sets of cleats, as well as…
Crank Brothers Mallet E Pedals
- Price: £149.99
- From: Extra UK
Two sets of pedals! The first is the Mallet E pedal, which is a slimmed-down enduro version of the wildly popular Mallet DH clip-in pedal. The familiar Eggbeater mechanism remains at the heart of the Mallet E, and there’s a two-piece alloy platform that surrounds it, with adjustable pins for dialling in traction. The body is a bit smaller, and the Q-factor is narrower at 52mm (compared with 57mm for the Mallet DH).
Crank Brothers Candy 7 Pedals
- Price: £154.99
- From: Extra UK
Going lighter again, the Candy 7 pedals have a claimed weight of just 320g for the pair. These roll on a chromoly steel axle with an Enduro cartridge bearing on the outside and an IGUS LL-Glide bushing on the inside, while a double-seal system helps to keep crud out in the first place. They’re designed to be fully rebuildable at home though, and Crank Brothers sells service kits for those who want to do so. Additional adjustability comes from the plastic Traction Pads that sit next to the 4-sided Eggbeater mechanism.
How will Amanda go with her foray into clipping in? Stay tuned to find out!
Taya TOLV-121 Ti Black 12-Speed Chain
- Price: £39.99
- From: Oxford Products
Another bit of shwag we brought back from Eurobike was this Taya chain, which came in this rather luxurious box that could be mistaken for high-end liquor. But you know we’re on a journalists’ wage not that fancy. The TOLV-121 is a 12-speed chain, so it’s designed primarily to work with SRAM Eagle drivetrains, and Shimano XTR when it finally comes out.
With an all-black finish, the TOLV-121 gets Taya’s DHT (Diamond Hard Tech) coating that we’re relatively sure is made up of millions of tiny crusted diamonds. There’s a chance that may not be true, but according to Taya, the DHT finish provides a super hard base that should increase durability and resistance to wear.
Syncros Tailor Cage 1.0 & Corporate Plus Bottle
- Price: £15.99 (cage) & £39.99 (5 pack of bottles)
- From: Syncros
Unfortunately those €3500 Syncros Silverton SL wheels didn’t quite fit into my checked bag, so I had to settle for a Syncros bottle and cage instead. #sadface. Then again, fluids are exactly what my body needs right now, so who am I to complain?
Syncros Glueless Patch Kit
- Price: £2.50
- From: Syncros
Syncros had a couple of these nifty glueless patch kits to sling our way. These little containers come with six glueless patches inside, which you just rip off the backing and whack over the puncture on your inner tube. Compact, and no messing around with waiting for glue to dry.
Syncros 500ml Tool Can
- Price: £10
- From: Syncros
Tool kegs are a neat way to house a spare tube, tyre levers and a multi-tool on your bike, especially if you normally ride with a hydration pack anyway. Syncros makes the Tool Can in two different sizes – this is the smaller 500ml size, though there’s still plenty of room for the essentials.
Syncros Lighter 8 Multi-Tool
- Price: £34.99
- From: Syncros
If regular multi-tools are too plain for you, or you just find them awkward to use, you should check out this mini ratchet kit from Syncros. Using a rectangular case with a flip out tool board, the mini-ratcheting head offers a satisfying buzz, and comes with eight different tool bits to cover most of the nuts and bolts on your bike.
Shimano S-Phyre XC9 Shoes
- Price: £TBC
- From: Madison
Along with the new 12-speed XTR groupset, Shimano also released a couple of new shoes including the top-end S-Phyre XC9. Possibly made from 100% grass-fed Smurfs, the XC9 shoe has a supple microfibre upper paired to a stiff carbon fibre sole. The XC9 features a dual BOA dial system for tensioning them over your footsies, though compared to the XC9 shoe I recently reviewed, the new version has a captured BOA lace so they’re less likely to pop out when you have them loose. Not that I ever had that issue, but there you go.
The Michelin rubber sole remains, as does the stiff (and thin) carbon fibre mid-sole. Shimano has beefed up the armouring around the toe, and its also used lasers to add more perforations to the upper for improved breathability. The asymmetric tongue has also been redesigned so it’s less likely to bunch up – again, not something I experienced with the old shoe, but we’ll let you know how these go after I get some more pedal time on them.
Shimano ME7 Shoes
- Price: £TBC
- From: Madison
The ME7 has been a popular trail shoe for the past couple of years, though Shimano decided it was due for a refresher, and has added a new version to its footwear line. Exchanging some of the mesh padding and panels from the old shoe, the new version features more synthetic leather for improved durability and less water retention – good news for UK mountain bikers.
Another weather conscious feature was the move to seal the inside of the cleat area, so water is less likely to end up inside the shoe to begin with. The buckle itself has been reversed to put it a little further out of harms way, though the speed laces and the Velcro storm flap remain, as do the grippy rubber tread blocks for the Michelin outsole.
Thule UpRide 599 Bike Rack
- Price: £169.99
- From: Madison
The latest addition to the Thule bike rack range, the UpRide 599 is designed to clamp your bike down on your roof rack, without ever contacting your frame. For owners of carbon bikes or just those with awkward-shaped downtubes and inconveniently-placed bottle cages, the Thule’s wheel-only clamping system may be of interest. The adjustable forward clamp is designed to fit pretty much any mountain bike (or road bike) wheel and tyre combo, though our test rack has been shipped with a fat bike adapter for the rear wheel tray.
You have now reached the end of the Fresh Goods Friday program.
Boop-beep-boop-boop
We have delivered all of the data about the new bicycle products. We hope you have downloaded the information from this program. If you experience a HTTP 404 Error, please try turning yourself off and on again.
Ba-beep-bee-boop
All Singletrack e-Humans are now shutting down for the weekend. We will reboot on Monday once we have recharged to full capacity.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep