In a recent ‘news’ story no doubt bolstered by the imminent release of the latest movie, it emerged that the total cost of the Death Stars from Star Wars and Return of the Jedi was somewhere in the region of $419 quintillion – which is $419,000,000,000,000,000,000. Which is quite a lot, and make the toy cardboard Death Star I wanted as a child (but never got – curse you, parents!) a positive bargain by comparison.
But even as a snot-nosed eight year old, it always bugged me that , while an X-wing was more or less to scale, and so was the Speeder Bike from Return of the Jedi, the toy Death Star WASN’T. It needed to be the size of a pretty large county to be to scale, of course, but a chap can dream (especially when he’s 8). Still, talk of that sort of money also makes the latest high-falutin’ carbon mountain bike awesomeness a veritable giveaway…
Scott Genius 710 Plus
Oh, now we’re talking. Chubby tyres – Carbon main frame, and an aluminium back end. The Genius comes with all of Scott’s shock-trickery to bestow 130mm, 90mm or no travel at all to the lucky rider at the flick of a switch. There’s a 140mm fork up front too.
Black and neon colourscheme even extends to the lockout cables.Fox34 140mm Boost up front handles front bouncy duties…Here’s the cockpit. The Twinlock switch on the left also controls fork lockout, As well as letting you have the two rear travel modes – 130 and 90mm, you can totally lock the back and the front out at the same time. Clever.1×11 SRAM GX drivetrain…Nice shiny carbon link there. And colour-coordinated graphics even extend to the shock, which is a Fox Evol with special Scott specialness…..and Syncros rims.
Shimano AM9 shoes
The Ride Journal no. 10
A gorgeous, gorgeous occasional magazine from some of Our Friends In The South. This is apparently the last one (there have been nine before) and it’s truly a thing of glory and wonder. It even includes some words from Our Glorious Leader (a.k.a. Chipps, a.k.a.Legend)
£8 plus postage
From: The Ride Journal
OTE Sports Nutrition stuff
Price: Pineapple Caffeine Gels £1.85 Mint Chocolate Protein Bars £1.90
From OTE sports
*or possibly pineapple and chocolate
SKS Spaero Double Action Mini Pump
Mavic Base Layer Tees
Prices: £50 for windy, £42 for cold
Mavic Ksyrium Elite Thermo Jersey – Women’s
Mavic Inferno Socks
The Odpod is a self-supporting bike stand which supports our bike around the bb and lets you elevate the rear wheel for fiddling etc in a small, pack-downable package.
Od Designs are going to be starting a crowdfunding initiative to get these puppies rolling very soon – it’s a light series of interlockable racks which support a bike by its chainstays – keep an eye on their website for more details.
From: Od Designs
Thule Proride 598
A new improved rack from Thule (the old one was the 591), which isn’t out until February! Bike weights of up to 20kg, and an optional fatbike accessory. It’s got a new torque limiter dial, too – so you don’t squish anything expensive.
Shimano Deore XT M8020 trail pedals
Transpire Fleece Socks £9.00
Reed Chillcheater Transpire Fleece Top and Beanie
Chipps is typically troubling in the fleece top and beanie to keep him warm in those cold winter months. Hopefully the spanners won’t stick to his eyes….
Price: top- £39.00; beanie – £9
Singletrack Sub in A Hip Flask Gift Pack
A perfect combination of inspirational magazine content and trail-side tipple sharing. Or alternatively, you can ensconce yourself in your favourite winged armchair, next to your favourite roaring fire, and read possibly the best mountain bike magazine in the world for an entire year – that’s eight issues!
Books By Boxer
The lovely guys at Books by Boxer have sent us these ideal stocking fillers, if you need of a bit of stocking filler inspiration, they’ll see you right:
Cycling’s Strangest Tales (£7.99): Ace excerpts of the weird, wonderful and two-wheeled. The ‘real’ world of cycling, the strange and twisted nooks and crannies of cycling’s bizarre history.
Muck Sweat and Gears (£9.99): Our favourite of the bunch is a compendium, packed full of juicy bike snippets and no doubt bound for long (and short) sessions on the toilet!
Vive le Tour! (£9.99): Pitched as the ultimate guide to the competition’s heroes, cheats, controversy, extreme terrain, triumphs and tragedy.
From: Books By Boxer
Sealskinz Knee Length Waterproof Socks
Sea Sucker Talon bike rack
First in a few suction-based bike carriers we’ve had in from Sea Sucker. You stick the suckers on your roof or wherever, pump the little button until the white bit no longer shows, and it should be set fast. The Talon is good for one bike with QR – or anything else, with appropriate adaptors.
These suction things fit any car – even supercars, it says here – so you can stap your Bronson to your Murcelago and head to the trails at 180mph, should you choose.
Sea Sucker Bomber 3-bike rack
Looks like a stealth bomber, and should be good to hold 3 bikes by the fork dropouts. Same principles as the Talon.
Sea Sucker Hornet Bike Rack
All from: Fisher Outdoor
KS Ether Stem
Does your post need lubing? The right combination of sticky and slippery to keep your shaft sliding superbly. Oh, stop it.
KS Crux seat post
KS LEV Carbon seat post
Price: £460 internally routed; £480 externally routed as this one is.
Skratch Labs Apple and Cinnamon energy drink
Very festive flavoured drink to put steam in your strides and a sparkle in your step, power to your pedals, whizz in your wheels… oh, you get the idea. You drink it hot, people. HOT. I think it’d be ace with whisky in it, but that would defeat the purpose, I suppose. Spoilsports.
Price: £13.95 for a 1lb bag
Yup, that’s it! Fingers crossed you actually have some trails extant instead of the huge quagmire-y expanse of mud I suspect many places will face. But even if you do only have glop, go ride anyway – it’s good practice, innit? Relentless optimism will last for at least another 15 minutes…