"Run Slower than Heather Mills with Woodworm"
(stolen from an STW thread earlier today)
"Genuine as Jordan's Chest"
Chat Forum
Your Favourite/Funniest Similies
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Posted 5 months ago #
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(in rather bad taste..)
as much use as Anne Frank's drumkit.Posted 5 months ago # -
"Run Slower than Heather Mills with Woodworm"
(stolen without credit from an STW thread earlier today)FTFY.
A mate of mine, talking about someone who was struggling with something, coined "he's taken to that like a duck to petrol." Beautiful.
Posted 5 months ago # -
I am a big fan of:
...like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle
Posted 5 months ago # -
"Sweating like Josef Fritzl on an episode of MTV Cribs"
Posted 5 months ago # -
"Face like a smacked arse" always does the rounds here.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Dumb as a bag of hammers (Must be said in a Texan drawl)
Posted 5 months ago # -
It's a bit 'Pearl Harbour' out there isn't it?
There's a nasty nip in the air.....
Posted 5 months ago # -
'sweating like a Bangkok money lender' is my favourite.
'handing them out like a man with no arms'Posted 5 months ago # -
'No shit Sherlock' is nice and subtle
Posted 5 months ago # -
Sweating like Peter Andre on Mastermind
Posted 5 months ago # -
CFH - unashamedly
stolenborrowed from my "what's your favourite 'as much us as'" thread
Posted 5 months ago # -
"Slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through treacle" is a favourite of mine.
And pretty much any of the similes used in Blackadder.Posted 5 months ago # -
Oh, how about "Grinning like a wan...." ...er perhaps not.
Posted 5 months ago # -
"A face like a robber's dog"
Perfect.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Not a simile, but I liked it
You're going to die!But then I will wake up in a magical fantasy world filled with virgins.
You mean Games Workshop?
(Mongrels)Posted 5 months ago # -
so many, so many...
"I'd give her a face like a plasterers radio"
"more chance of plaiting pi$$ / fog / sh1t"
[bike related for STW] "ridden more than TJ's bike"
and to add the the bulldog...."face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle whilst chewing a wasp"Posted 5 months ago # -
"he/she's as mad as a trumpet."
Posted 5 months ago # -
Sweating like a Blind Lezzer in a wet fish shop.!
Have also used it when my wife had a cold by substituting sweating with sniffing.
Posted 5 months ago # -
A face like a haunted cave in Poland
Posted 5 months ago # -
I'm particularly fond of "shaking like a shitting dog."
Posted 5 months ago # -
a mate at University described a girl as having a ladygarden like a doormat. "I wasn't sure if was meant to wipe my feet before entering"
Posted 5 months ago # -
About as much use as a chocolate teapot, an oldie but goldie.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Derek,
plagiarismimitation is the most sincer form of flattery.Posted 5 months ago # -
"face like a smashed crab"
Posted 5 months ago # -
Made a noise like an orchestra falling downstairs
A face like a crab's bus ticket
Posted 5 months ago # -
S/he has a smile like a burned down village / badly kept cemetary.
Posted 5 months ago # -
It's a bit Pearl Harbour.
Sweating like a Hobbit in Mordor.
Posted 5 months ago # -
It's like trying to nail blancmange to a wall.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Like a bunch of monkeys all trying to shag the same football.
From another forum, re: the Eurozone leaders.
Posted 5 months ago # -
not really a simile,
but my mum used to say "show it the cow" when i was making her a cup of tea!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Like taking a running f*** at a rolling fa**y
Posted 5 months ago # -
"Thick as a whale omelette"
Posted 5 months ago # -
It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to **** a doorknob
Posted 5 months ago # -
Sounds like a skeleton having a **** in a biscuit tin; Hope hubs...
Posted 5 months ago #
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