Ive just been out for a ride 'bit parky innit' it was hard work 'im absolutely cattle trucked'. Got covered 'in more shite than a pigs arse'.
I should know more of these but I'm having a memory blank. We did have a teacher at school who would say something along the lines of "Jesus Darcy, a dog with a mallet up its arse would do a better job than that".
wetter than an otters pocket
If he fell in a bucket of tits, he'd come up sucking his thumb; for the less lucky among us.
Sweating like a paedophile outside gym class is my favourite...
As an exclamation, nothing beats 'Jesus Christ in a Nissan Sunny!!'
As in 'Jesus Christ in a Nissan Sunny!!' would you look at the size of that footprint on my car.....
As much use as a chocolate teapot
Shaking like a dog sh177ing peach stones
F*cked as a Christian Scientist with appendicitis
Ugly as a blind cobbler's thumb
About as useful as a cock flavored lollypop. (from Dodgeball).
Wrinklier than an elephant's bawsack
a face like yoda's scrotum
this beer is like sex in a canoe......**** close to water
She had a sausage wallet like a wizards sleeve.. it was like chucking a chipolata up the chunnel..
- Like throwing a frankfurter down Oxford Street
- As badly spelled as a STW post
a fanny baggier than a monks cowl
and
damper than an otters pocket
Always been a fan of Surly's
Crawls through mud like a pig on crack
Face like a blind welders bench.
Uglier that a hatfull of monkeys arseholes.
Miserable? Wouldn't give a door a bang.
Sweating like a fat girl in a cake shop.