We had a dog called ‘Spliff’. I didn’t know at the time what it meant, but my mum was a bit more ‘alternative’ than most mums. I should have figured something was up when my gran would only refer to the dog as ‘Smith’….

Anyone else have non conventional parents?

I should have figured something was up when my gran would only refer to the dog as ‘Smith’…

That made me smile, thanks. 🙂

My ex’s Mom was a tad strange (but in a good way).

They are Dutch and on one visit i remember her Mom saying she had some weed and then proceeded to bring out two full bin bags stuffed with it from the crop she had grown at home! She was an alternative health type and used to practise acupuncture on me and other weird homeopathy stuff.

I miss that family. Shame her daughter wasn’t quite all there….

Not alternative but a little different.

My lads hate it when MrsCat discusses personal health issues at the dinner table – the last one to elicit cries of “noooooooooooooo” was when she asked them “you do check your testicles regularly?” a couple of nights ago.

I remember at home we had some jars, they had coke, weed and something else written on them.. When I knew what they were I tried the weed jar.. It was weed, but at least 30 years old, the other ones were empty.

Recently cleared out mums loft, and she found a cannabis leaf that she had kept in a book for 40 years ago. Still green, 12″ across.. “Do you want it” she asked… Err no not really!

She also had a cat called Fritz, apparently it was just like the cartoon, **** anything and everything and always wasted.

Since she retired my mum has been a missionary.

She seems to specialize in areas of the world where Christian missionaries are greeted with suspicion and/or gun fire.

My dad stays at home and plays with his 1943, 100ft turntable ladder fire engine.

On the other hand, my mother was the dullest teenager ever. The highlight of one of her summers was getting dressed up as a festival goer, going to the bus stop and PRETENDING she was waiting for a bus to the IOW festival 🙄

We also found some of her old school books clearing out the loft, had a bit of a flick through and on some of the questions that had been marked wrong, she had put her own little comments in such as ‘Oh Fiddlesticks!’ and ‘Silly me!’

Frankly I’m amazed I turned out as cool as I did 8)

Lad I used to work with was just getting together with a girl (who he finally married last year)
Her parents were mental – they threw regular drug-fueled house parties, and the Dad was happy to ‘deal’ to his two daughters (who were early 20’s at the time) and any of their mates.
It all fell apart a few years later, the Mum suddenly decided she was a lesbian, and moved in with her mate from work (who was also married up to that point) the Dad then moved his ex-wife’s sister into the house and promptly started a relationship with her!

My Dad used to make any visiting friends turn out their pockets when they came to the house, if smoking materials were found he would either confiscate them or blackmail them for the fags anyway, not to be beaten by my old man my mates dad would get you in a head lock and rub his knuckles across your scalp whilst his mum would scream obscenities at you.

When MrsCat was still a Midwife we had knitted breasts all over the place, along with plastic pelvises (pelvii?), rubber placenta, etc.

Always an interesting experience for the lads mates when they came round.

My folks we about as straight down the line as it is possible to be.

my mates dad would get you in a head lock and rub his knuckles across your scalp whilst his mum would scream obscenities at you

what, both at the same time?

that’s just plain weird.

My friend had very strict parents, but you would often see them up the pub. At the age of 15 I was going clubbin, went to see Chicane at Lakota…

Who do I see my mates strict Dad, complete off his tits, nattering away to me and finished by saying “Meet me here at 6am if you want a lift home.” 6 am came along, I was huddled in a corner and there was my mates dad giving it large to Camisra – Let me show you.

He gave me a lift home, his last words were “Don’t tell Andrew”.. I told my friend 2 years later that every week I would get a lift home with his Dad.. He was fuming as he still wasn’t allowed to go clubbing!

^^^ ROFL at that story.

There exists a man I know who I shall only refer to as “The Judge”.

He used to have several 10 foot high Northern Lights bushes growing outside, somewhere warm and sheltered.

Similarly to MrTall’s story – he would also fill many bin-bags with the stuff and just reach in when he wanted a little something.

I used to know him well, but then I moved away. Ho Hum 🙁

Whenever the stepkids used to play up, I’d give them a knowing wink and would say “Your mum”.

They’re in counselling.

My Dad was a secret midnight Tree planter!

He planted most on roundabouts, lethal!

He also managed to grow a wine called chateu piddle, it got mentioned in a BA flight magazine and as a kid I can remember bus loads of American tourist turning up at our place wanting a bottle!

Some of the trees made it, so if you see a 40 year old Oak or horse chestnut in the middle of a tiny roundabout, you can thank him!

We also had a cats called piddle puss and sh1t face, caused no end of looks from passer buyers when he used to stand on our doorsteps in the middle of the night, just in pants calling them back in.

He was as one as our neighbours once said ‘ mad as f@@@ your Dad’

Mum suddenly decided she was a lesbian

Check.

Dad then moved his ex-wife’s sister into the house

Checkmate.

Shame her daughter wasn’t quite all there….

I wonder why!

A couple of Christmas ago, we received a card off my mate up the street but they put my Mums name wrong on the card.

Instead of putting ” To Simmy and Doreen ” they put ” To Simmy and Hazel ”

What they was thinking I don’t know as they have lived here ages and know mums called Doreen.

Anyway, not to be outdone, she sent a card back saying ” To Brenda and Family ” when her name is Trish.

They now refer to each other as Hazel and Brenda and mum doesn’t mind one bit being called Hazel

molgrips – Member
Shame her daughter wasn’t quite all there….
I wonder why!

Here’s the answer! 😉

her Mom saying she had some weed and then proceeded to bring out two full bin bags stuffed with it from the crop she had grown at home!

I used to think my parents were really strict till i left home and went to uni…
I mean most parents don’t say that 30 quids worth of drugs will do for the weeks end.. found that most parents dont do this for their children.. funny though i wasn’t allowed to drink.

(my parents are middle class torys with land etc)

the wifeswap made me think rather hard about my unconventional “family”.

My ex’s Mom was a tad strange (but in a good way).

They are Dutch and….

‘Nuff sed.

My mums a bit of a lush and according to my wife who she confided in one night has loose morals , my dad went back to being a biker when he and mum split and ended up with a house full of illegal weapons after joining the local hells angels type motorcycle gang. They’ve both smoked a fair bit of weed in their time too( dad still does)

Worked alongside a teacher the other day and 18 (primary 4/5) kids, AND two classroom assistants – you’ll see why in a minute. The “workshop” was designed to increase their interpersonal skills, get to grips with cycle safety and improve literacy.
However their parents must all be related to the lunatics mentioned above, cos every one of them barring one wee star who never said a word the whole time, were mental. I thought I had been dropped into a lunatic asylum. They say kids reflect their parents, well god help us all.
And I just do this stuff for fun – just glad I dont have to turn up at 9am and face that day in day out.
Parents! – they wouldn’t know parenting if it ran them over in a bus.

I once found a little metal tin in our house which my dad said contained “genuine Glastonbury mud”.

Mom? <sigh>….y’all :-/