binners yes- I can do stupid early. Would you go over to Hebden?

Well come to the Lakes then – Keensy will be out on the Sunday

Aye – I’ll email you. Hebdon would be good. Not ridden there for a while.

Could do both pootle and lakes. I’m going for the plastic bike.. Just to annoy you Jason 😉

You do that Hora. Let’s see who is the annoyed one when it snaps in two on the chainstays, miles from anywhere, and Keensy and I are a mile in front of you, and it’s raining.

Still, it can’t be any worse than that shonky 5 Spot you bought, can it? Have you learned how to ride that one yet, or is it all ‘wrong’?

Well the anglesets in and the rear suspension is starting to ‘break in’ now.

I was spoilt abit with the SX’s slack head angle so its getting used to normal frames again I guess.

See, that’s what I don’t understand. I can quite happily ride the Sunday one day, the Patriot the next. Chameleon takes a bit of getting used to if I’ve not ridden it for a while (e.g. months on end) but even then, it’s an hour tops, and I’m happy.

Oh, Morton should be out on the Sunday as well, with his gel saddle cover and 1960’s outdoor clothes.

Ah there you see..

*Good riders can easily jump on any different bike and auto-adjust.

Average riders need to get onto well-thought frames or that are neutral in design and set up to feel comfortable IMO. i.e ME!

*If you like I could recommend you to Jedi for some skillz?

I was spoilt a bit with the SX’s slack head angle

…and the absolutely enormous amounts of travel. So going from that to a 5 spot feels weird and strange and disorientating. So the solution…..

a carbon hardtail. Obviously.

Has anyone suggested you get some kind of medical analysis of your ‘logic’ monkey boy? Its like someone’s unplugged all the wires and plugged them back in some random order for a laugh

Binners I am allowed to one more than one bike you know. Do you grasp the concept of having abit of a contrast within my biking wardrobe? 🙄

From Jedi’s UK BIke Skills blog:

Mark (Hora) contacted me about a training session, telling me that he didn’t need it, but his bikes were not quite right. After postponing seven times because it was raining a bit, he finally turned up.

As per usual, the first thing we did was look at his bike setup. For once, his bike was actually pretty well there but he insisted that it felt ‘dead’ so we adjusted the bars, stem, brake levers, saddle, just about everything. This went on for two hours, every time we adjusted something, he claimed it still felt dead. In the end, he went off and bought a Blur 4X and finally agreed that it felt ‘spot on’, so we could move on to looking at his skill set.

Now I obviously made up the five Key Core Skills but with this fool, I have to make up another twenty on the spot, including a rather obvious one, don’t sit down on the bike when trying to go off a drop. He keeps on doing it though, right up to the point where I have to smash a Coke bottle and glue it to his saddle. We then move onto the mental skills, but I have to have a quick rethink and call them the ‘thinking skills’ because he looks a bit mental and I don’t want to offend him too much.

We start off with getting him to ride in a straight line through the Field Of Dreams ™ and even that is hard enough, with him weaving all over the place like a drunken poodle trying to cross a wet bouncy castle in a gale. This isn’t looking good and every time I try and explain how to ride the bike, he just starts showing me photos of some weird looking dog and starts blubbing like a girl.

I want to get to the pub before last orders, so I move him over to the jump and drop area. Bad idea. The smallest drop is literally three inches and the run out is into a smooth field, but he has a shit fit and tells me that he isn’t a downhiller from London, UK, any more.

At this point, mental fatigue sets in and I call an end to the session. Seriously, ten minutes more and I’d be as mental as he is.

He asks to see a demonstration of the key core skills but I can’t be bothered so tell him to **** off home. No High Five for you, freak. Now get out of my Field.

🙂

8)

Why *is* the word Stout included in the thread title?

On form today Jason! Great last line.

I will one day visit Jedi’s field of dreams(TM) and learn his core skills 8)

Why *is* the word Stout included in the thread title?

I was wondering that too.

Also wondering about starting a sweepstake on when Hora will snap and batter Binners to death with his latest bike purchase.

That’s it, I’m never coming back here again, everything will be a disappointment compared to Stopadoodledoo’s last post…