I’ve been asked to ‘diarize a site visit’…

I was hoping for some assistance in responding in an appropriate fashion.

Draw a picture with pretty colors.

Dear Sir,

Please accept my resignation.

Yours Etc

“Diarized to the max! Stoked, Metalheart”

“Sure, I’ll run that up the flag pole with my on-site colleagues and blue-sky a narrative synergistic with the goals and values of visiting delegates. I’ll loop back to you with a proposed agenda at the top of next week”

That should just about cover it.

Write a diary entry in the style of a primary school child about a “site” visit you have made. Be creative with the site you visit.

Sorry guys, but these responses are just not jargontastic enough…

Ideally I don’t even want to be able to comprehend the response…

Oh, a ‘colourful & robust’ verbal response has already been made but there’s a cc list crowd to play for…

Like, Oh Me Goord, Gag me with a spoon, like, totally!!! Tuesday at 2pm ok?

I’m in (what could loosely be called) the construction industry.

Dealing with a Building Surveyor…

I have contacted his agent and he is free to do a song or two onsite

Ah! Darius!

I remember a thing in the paper about how he used to go and sit under the bridge at the back of school to escape the bullies.

My brother’s response: “Well, that’s bollocks, then”

“Why?”

“Because that’s where we went to smoke, and seeing as we were the people making his life a living hell…”

Surely, something like:

“Hopefully our joint ideation will yield an opportunity to ring fence the unicorn.”

diarize is an actual proper word, you know?

If you’re colleague had suggested that you “Align your work route to do a personal at the client locale”

then you might have had a point

I can’t as I’m lactose intolerant

diarize is an actual proper word, you know?

Yeah, maybe in your world, but what they are actually trying to do is organise a site meeting & survey.

We’re simple folks us engineers.

aP, nice Zappa reference there!

“Americanisms are ruining the English language”

May I suggest, that rather than respond using the whole group cc. You should , tell all the other people via CC that you will befriend them and piss in their kitchen sink.

Carry out the task of befriending them, then send out a picture of you mid stream in their kitchen to all, including the ‘diorizerer requester’

diarize is an actual proper word, you know?

It is, but I wonder if the requester knows what it means. From the OP I’d have assumed it meant to write a schedule of work for your site visit, to draw up a timetable; but having Googled it simply means “put it in the diary.”

This page is in American. Do you want Google to translate it for you?

“Oi Knobbers,

I’ll be swinging by to make sure we’re not going to get fisted by the Health and Safety people next week.

We’ll knock it off in fifteen minutes and head straight to the pub, yeah?”

I assumed it meant, ‘write a report’, in the way you’d write a diary – after the event. Anyway, still spelt wrong.

it has to end with “boomshanka”

I assumed it meant, ‘write a report’, in the way you’d write a diary – after the event. Anyway, still spelt wrong.

Yeah, that was my point. So the correct response is “it’s in the diary as requested, if this isn’t what you wanted then don’t try to sound clever by using fancy words you don’t understand.” Though you might want to paraphrase that slightly.

it has to end with “boomshanka”

^This.

And start with “Darling Fascist Bully-boy”

Thanks for everybody’s assistance.

This was my actual reply:

I need to integrate a suitable vertical synergy event with my line manager in order to shakeout an optimum fulfilment strategy for going forwards to achieve the desired outcome (crosschecked to relevant kpi’s) with respect to your expectations.

Having instigated a full review of the relevant data vis-à-vis interpersonal availability it has been discerned that, unfortunately, the required syngerization will not be crystallising on the immediate event horizon resulting in a requirement to kick the can down the road until such times as all participants immediate annual vacation allocation is expended and we can align our work routes to facilitate a personal at the client locale.

The recipient took it in the correct spirit 😀

http://keypharmaceuticals.com.au/products/what_is_diareze.php

This was my actual reply:

Good work, but you lose a point for failing to ringfence the unicorn.

Yeah, maybe in your world

the world that has access to dictionaries? 😆

Good effort on the reply.

Wise to leave out the unicorn reference. Some in the cc list probably think your actual reply is genuine, the unicorn might have given it away.

Dear Boss,

Sorry to hear of your poorly stomach. I’ve stocked up on dioralyte ahead of our site visit

Good work, but you lose a point for failing to ringfence the unicorn.

Sorry, I’m in the public sector, everyone knows that unicorns were all sacrificed to the Gods of Efficiency some considerable time so was never going to fly. Likewise boomshanka was definitely a step too far (although for a minute I was tempted).

@nickc: stop whinging, I lifted your suggestion (it was, after all, exactly what I was after). Cheers! I’m known for calling a spade a ****-ing shovel.

As per the earlier post, what was wanted was a meeting on site (to discuss extent of works required). they could stick as much shit in my diary as they wanted but that wouldn’t get me in the Broch!

I had someone request a document so they could “socilaise” it with their sales team? I asked if they were taking the document out for drinks- no response…