The facts:
1. Locked myself out of the house.
2. Consoling myself in the pub.
3. While Mrs spw3 drives from Slough to Birmingham with the keys.
4. By the time she arrives I reckon I will be on my third pint.
5. Then an early morning meeting means she has to drive back just after letting me in.

Dead man walking ( or drinking in this case)

Slough to Brum?

If she hits traffic, you’re going to be proposing to a lamp post with a soggy onion ring by the time she arrives.

Pint no.1 is history

Pint no. 2 begins.

Consoling yourself is tough love.

Only 3 pints from Slough to Brum?

Lightweight 😉

Well I was just wondering whether I might as well be shot for a sheep as for a lamb…

My condolences to your family for your impending demise

Wait till she finds out you’ve posted in the wrong forum. THEN you’ll be for it.

Really???

OMG.

Mods, save me!

What bikes, can I have them when you’re gone?

I’m afraid I only have 26″ bikes and nothing newer than about 2006

Oh no, she’s 5 minutes away.

Pray for me?

That’s nowt I got to lands end to do mobile phone mast test the next morning to realise the laptop was sat in the kitchen in Andover. Cue very upset wife with a long drive for me. Doh…

do you think it is your lucky night as well 😉

I’m with leffeboy, ask for some rumpy pumpy when you get in 🙂

Errr, already been put straight on that one.

Can’t blame a bloke for trying though?

Well, the good news is I am in.

The bad news is we have just found my keys…in the back of the gate.

So if I had just climbed over the gate I would have found them and saved everyone* a lot of hassle

*not everyone obviously, just one person.

TBH I’m tempted to drive from Glasgow to Brum and give you a smack with some bombers myself for being such a div

26″ would be ok.

I think I’m in the clear!

She’s just left saying “stop apologising” and something about “saving his one for later”.

I’m not sure what that means though.

Start saving up, is what it means…

kitchen in Andover. Cue very upset wife

Can’t say I blame her.

Andover?

😉

“saving his one for later”.

She’s planning a new patio.

Does the fact that we’ve been married for precisely 8 weeks make this better or worse?

She’s pregnant ……… 🙂

If that’s true I will bury myself under the patio.

Ha ha if you say so

Two schools of thought:
1 – Better the be hung for a sheep as a lamb
2 – Better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

1 applies here.

check your shoes in the morning, they may be damp

every 4 weeks or so, you will be reminded of this incident for years to come.

Wasn’t my choice and didn’t last long cfh lol