The missus and I are off to Scotland next week for a spot of wild camping. What’s just crossed my mind is….

What is the etiquette for taking a dump in the wild?

Do you I take a shovel and dig a latrine? Bury it? Leave it al fresco but bag the paper? Bag it all and bin it (at the next available bin)?

Do what the dog walkers do, hang it in a tree…

no real guideline, other than a healthy dose of common sense.

“leave no trace” is a good way to think about wild camping generally (although I’m sure you know that already), so on that basis I tend to bury the crap and take sealable bags for the paper (dumping in the bin with the rest of my rubbish).

I could technically stick the crap in a bag too, but see that as a step too far 🙂

Don’t try to burn the paper, it will only end in tears for you or the local scenery

Take a trowel and dig a hole, a good distance from water (ok it is Scotland)wipe doup with spagnum moss, fill hole. Any paper you take in, PLEASE double bag and take out. Go high and enjoy the poo view! (with apologies to person on the ring of steall last month, I didn’t see you in that green jacket…. 😳 )

^ ah, i meant to ask how you got on at the weekend duckman?

at least the weather was good. Sorry if I missed you in the Clachaig, we decided to head up to Skye on Saturday afternoon to play on the Cullin after a cracking couple of days climbing at Polldubh in Glen Nevis.

duckman has it.

Cheers folks. Thought as much. I too was slightly uneasy about carrying my crap around in a bag dog walker style. Makes sense to bury it and carry the paper.

Same as a trail poo really.

You can get properly bio-degradeable paper if the idea of carrying it isn’t stomachable. I find you can normally lift some turf and dig a little hole with the heel of your boots fairly well.

Blinding idea, hora.

I read somewhere that you should smear it over rocks so it dries and then washes away, although that might have been in the Himalaya.

The advice I’ve always followed is NOT to bury it, but to smear it around to provide the largest surface area for decomposition.

scottish access code says – understandably – that if you’re burying it, do so well away from water.

thass def.something to keep in mind. human waste has an incredible ability to leach through the soil over long distances, so the farther away, the better.

I read somewhere that you should smear it over rocks

Is that some kind of dirty protest against the access laws?

My usual philosophy when taking a dump mid ride is “what would barger/fox/dog do?” and leave it as long as no ones going to stand in it.

There is a whole book on this: “How to **** in the woods”

When you make a hole to deposit, make it shallow because decomposition is rapid in shallow holes which have more oxygen available. Do not do near water courses as you increase their bacterial load. Ideally, remove and replace topsoil intact.

Considering the poor quality of mountain soils, you are helping enrich the soil. In the Khumbu, they love tourist trekker poo because the enrichment increases their farming yield.

Just avoid being insanitary.

10-15cm hole (deep as wide as you need however)

Last time in the wilds of Oz had held on for 2 1/2 days until having to go dig a hole then snapped trowel….

Also in popular places the easier dug soil is there because someone already dug there if you know what I mean……

Yep, I like the idea of dig shallow hole / dump / bag the paper technique.

Smearing is just wrong. I’d considering flicking the poo about with a stick or putting on the end of said stick and chasing our lass with it although I’m not 10.

I would have thought that pooing in water would offer the serene wilderness equivalent to some toilet time. Obviously not.

Smear? Are you Gillian McKeef? What next pop it into a sandwich box and rattle/exam it?

I got stuck offsite at a camp carrying a small folding shovel in the howling winds on the Dales and dug a shallow hole in a hollow where I was squatting for cover and covered my poo up. I turned round to see that the farmer had driven up behind me on his ATV and was sat there smirking at me. I just didn’t blink and walked away.

Then there was the poo on a rocky island in the Lake District after canoeing out to it and then realising I was unable to paddle back to the camp without having an accident. The next day one of the blokes said he had been caught out the same way, dropped his pants and went to squat only to find mine right under him. He said he was confused for a few seconds wondering whether he’d gone yet or not.

But the most memorable one was when I had an upset stomach in the Peaks and climbed over some barbed wire into a small wooded area on a 70deg slope. I turned round, facing my arse downhill and only just got my pants down in time as it blasted out down the hill, covering trees and bushes everywhere in a narrow arc for about 10-12m down the slope. I was in hysterics when I turned round to peruse how I’d ‘redecorated’ the wood, and when I clambered over the fence back to a mate I was out walking with I was stumbling around, dribbling and waving him off, saying, “DON’T!…..go down there……just don’t!”

He said he was confused for a few seconds wondering whether he’d gone yet or not.

Thanks, really given me the giggles, that.

mrdestructo indeed. Sh1t stories 😉

Stuck working on a glacier in Arolla – 3 of us for 12 weeks.
Soil depth aroundabouts non existant.
Only plan was to pick up a rock, take a dump and replace rock.
After 6 weeks it was a challenge to find fresh rocks.
Also developed the sport of turd splatting.
Pick up rock, deposit load, hold rock above turd, drop and jump at same time.
Winner is the one with clean legs.

Good job I’ve not had lunch yet. 🙂

http://amountaintophigh.blogspot.co.uk/2009/04/how-to-poop-in-woods.html

what you need is one of these

http://www.gooutdoors.co.uk/mini-folding-trowel-p184992

You can get those trowels in Poundland and they are useless as too small and fold back on your hand too easily when used on hard wild ground. Just get a fixed garden trowel, a lightweight one, it’s not too much to carry.

Just hoof a hole with your heel and nip off into it then hoof the spoil back over to cover. I always include the paper with the poo. In really remote areas it’s OK just to lift a fallen rock behind a wall then replace it.

Best “field” experience was when I was a joint leader on a Brathay group doing a 2 week walk through Knoydart. We lived on Raven freeze dried ration packs, which we carried or picked up at loch and road heads. On the first morning various members of the group disappeared behind the bothy with the entrenching tool and came back looking puzzled. When my turn came I was amazed to see that halfway along, my poo suddenly turned from a healthy pale brown to bright dayglow green! For the rest of the two weeks we were all reporting dayglo green!

My worst WC experience: I was at Karachi domestic airport waiting for a flight when I suddenly realised I needed to go. The terminal was a brand new building in beautiful marble and in the gents was a young Pakistani lad, shuffling around with a mop looking very proud of his job. As usual somebody had been standing on the seat (why?) so I just dropped my kegs, bent over avoiding the seat and let rip an evil stream of hot spicy brown sauce. I thought it was funny that I hadn’t heard anything pouring into the pan so I looked round and realised to my horror that the stream had shot out horizontally behind me, hit the wall and was already spreading like spilled brown paint all over the pan, down the wall and out across the floor. Now I knew how the French always managed to make such a mess in campsite squatters. I cleaned it up as best I could using the ablution hose but had no choice but to leave most of it, sitting gently suppurating like a nuclear meltdown and oozing across the spotless marble floor. I washed my hands and was on my way out of the door when the young lad opened the trap to have a mop around and saw the mess; his jaw dropped and he went pale with shock. I could only smile apologetically, make a “sorry” gesture and make off as fast as possible. Poor bloke.

Peter, got thundered off the annochs, headed into grog for one and ended up back at the worst bunkie (the grey corries)too early.

The MCofS does publish guidence

http://www.mcofs.org.uk/assets/access/where-to-go-leaflet.asp.pdf

http://www.mcofs.org.uk/assets/pdfs/wildcamping.pdf

One are of contention is the paper – some say burn it insitu ie put a match to it after your performance but this has caused serious fires. Others say always carry the paper out.
around popular spots poo is becoming an issue with contamination of water sources.

I won’t let my DoE kid go near any water within 1k of Derry Lodge as an example of what teej says above. Once the snow melts there you see all the little white flags waving….Mind you I have taked a dump off the Annoch Eagach ridge before so maybe I am the pot here.

This is what can happen if you try to burn the paper, an ember lands on some dry grass, which catches fire, you stamp on that to put it out and more embers land on more dry grass etc etc etc.

That small dot in the circle is my mate the firestarter…