I think the bottom line here is that all people who go running are, for one reason or another, completely mental, have probably lost the will to live, and are subconciously, if not almost wilfully suicidal!
Lets be brutally honest here… have you ever seen a runner look like they’re enjoying the experience? Have you ever seen one smile? Even slightly? Ever seen one not grimacing?
No. Exactly! They make most roadies look like Michael Mcintyre. The look they all wear ranges from:
1. I’m only doing this to get out of the house, away from a wife and kids who despise me. If I don’t, I’m so pathetically brow-beaten, I’ll only be forced to watch the Eastenders omnibus again, uncomplaining, while building up a seething, potentially murderous resentment that can only end with a new patio. I’m going to run in the road, towards traffic instead.
2. I really need to lose about 5 stone, so I’ll lift one leg slightly higher than the other, at the same pace a 60 year old arthritic wouldn’t find taxing, then maybe it’ll all magically drop off. I suppose there might be more chance of that happening if I didn’t go home and cry myself to sleep while cramming chocolate into my face and rinsing it down with cheap chardonnay. It really isn’t worth carrying on any more…..
Then there are fell runners, who quite frankly terrify me. The look on their face as they appear from nowhere, out on the moor, while you’re out night riding, tells me they’re utterly oblivious to their surroundings, and are only listening to the voices in their heads telling them that they need to kill again.