Make yer own effing sarnies! What do you think this is? Eh? A hotel!!!!

Keep yer effing hands of my unsliced loaf then, I’m fed up with repairing it after you’ve mutilated it.

HAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
So says the man that was worried about the wifely reaction to the bike parts he bought the other day!

That was only because I wasn’t able to tell her before I bought them. I was quietly surprised when she saw the workstand I bought an said “that’s quite impressive – you deserve one anyway”. Sweet!

Anyway, still doesn’t alter the fact my wife is an ace bread cutter an yours isn’t. 😉

Maybe it’s because she’s a Yorkshire woman and not cutting it straight would mean valuable bread would be wasted.

Electric knife helps.

good god no, how would anyone learn if they used electric knives?, if ever there was a waste of the earths resources it’s the production and use of electic carving knives

This is clearly a hot topic. Who knows where it go?

Don’t get me started on acceptable amounts of butter or spread deemed acceptable by males and females.

Electric knifes, like chainsaws, just mean more devastation happens more quickly.

As for jam in the fridge … I feel an aneurysm coming on.

Karinofnine – Member
Make yer own effing sarnies! What do you think this is? Eh? A hotel!!!!

Nope, but as we share the same house I expect her to do her share of stuff… I bought my g/f a new bread knife, through her old blunt POS out…. she’s still no good at it.
Showed her the thread, she made a snorting noise and flounced off (surf-matt would have been proud), calling us all nerds.

Some great posts here, but.

I see your wonky bread or cheese cutting, and raise you…

loose jar lids !.

Why is it that women can’t screw the cap back onto a jar of branston ?.

So I go to pick up the jar, and then I’m wearing the jar contents.

Same for the tooth paste, pickled onions, jam, ketchup. all of it has the lid cunningly balanced on edge of the container, ready to slip off once the container has reached a height to cause maximum contents distribution.

Yeah, bread and jar lids.

It’s not just women, I’m left handed and have been banned from slicing bread and carving potatoes and carrots
If she’s not left handed maybe she just isn’t bothered, I’ve found over the years that it’s not that they can’t, it’s just that they don’t actually care
It’s a male OCD thing

As for jam in the fridge … I feel an aneurysm coming on.

LOL! 🙂

We now have a humungous fridge. So all the jams and sauces are in it, despite spending the last fifty million (Roughly) years in the cupboard!

Apart from the home made jam, which is properly preserved without chemicals so doesn’t need it.

oh, and:

there’s a place for everything and everything in its place.

Unless you’re a girl in which case: fight the system! Anarchist filing!

it’s just that they don’t actually care

Yeap, after years, years I tell ya, of research, I’ve come to this conclusion.
🙁

has anyone pointed out how stupid it is to call women a ‘species’? yes? oh well, i’ll just be on my way …

I’ll take wonky bread and 7 fridges full of jam jars any day over being unable to get all the pee in the confines of the toilet bowl.

Vive la difference, and all that.

My wife complained the other day that I don’t throw the toothpaste away when it’s empty…but there’s loads left in it!

RE margerine, spreads etc….she spreads them so thin it’s like there’s a shortage. Personally I like to actually be able to taste chocolate when having choc spread on toast.

We get sliced bread although she insists on cheap brown bread.

We get sliced bread although she insists on cheap brown bread

I use to eat brown bread, until I heard an article on farming today.

Oh how I cringed/gagged during that program.

I’ve never looked at brown bread the same since.
Its white bread only now.

Also, I can assure you that your OCD habits drive her just as insane as her bread slicing habits bother you
And if all you have to worry about in your relationship is wonky sliced bread, your doing allright

I’ve never looked at brown bread the same since.
Its white bread only now.

??? 😯

Another one in agreement with the OP here. My missus can’t slice bread for toffee. Sometimes I’ll get one of htem posh Tiger loafs, nice a crusty outside, soft inside. Within five minutes it’s been squashed and turned into some wierd naan bread/poppadom hybrid!

Interestingly, my Mum could produce perfect slices, however she was a surgeon so maybe falls into the 5% category mentioned earlier…

Also concur about my good lady’s cutting bread abilities, so now have sliced bread. Unfortuantley when placed shoved in the freezer, it comes out all mishapen so only good for feeding the ducks. Similarly, when grating a nice rectangular block of cheese, please keep it that way not attempt to create a wonderful rhomboid or other do-deca-dooda shape 😕

Seriously, I CAN cut bread straight – there, I’ve said it. Does that mean I’m not a proper woman? 😆

Don’t worry Karin, there are always exceptions to the rule – I can use the toilet standing up without getting piss on the ceiling, and perfectly capable of cleaning up after myself if I do …

I guess wonky bread has it’s place – the sawtoooth edges will help secure loose fillings such as tuna fish or grated cheese.

LoL @ Within five minutes it’s been squashed and turned into some wierd naan bread/poppadom hybrid!

PMSL @ not attempt to create a wonderful rhomboid or other do-deca-dooda shape

Karin, I SERIOUSLY can’t, so I think you may have stolen some of my genes.
I want them back!!!!!

Oh and as for –

there’s a place for everything and everything in its place.

Yeah, the floor.

And does it really matter? Once it’s in your gob it gets chewed to mush anyway
Do the aesthetics of your butty matter that much?
OCDOCDOCDOCDOCD………..

LoL @ Within five minutes it’s been squashed and turned into some wierd naan bread/poppadom hybrid!
PMSL @ not attempt to create a wonderful rhomboid or other do-deca-dooda shape

+1
LMAO!!

Another one with a horizontally slicing gran!

I never knew how she managed to spread butter on slices so thin without ripping the bread apart until I caght her at it one day spreading the butter on the end of the loaf, THEN slicing.

That’s proper bread-smarts, that is.

Love you, gran!

I never knew how she managed to spread butter on slices so thin without ripping the bread apart until I caght her at it one day spreading the butter on the end of the loaf, THEN slicing.

That is amazing. That’s the sort of skill and inventiveness you just can’t teach.

I can use the toilet standing up without getting piss on the ceiling

not first thing in the morning you cant I bet 🙂

I never knew how she managed to spread butter on slices so thin without ripping the bread apart until I caght her at it one day spreading the butter on the end of the loaf, THEN slicing.

That is amazing. That’s the sort of skill and inventiveness you just can’t teach.

That was a home economics tip from one of the war-time newsreels for getting thinner slices

not first thing in the morning you cant I bet

Pffrt, I just get in the shower ….

carving potatoes

Carving spuds? Really? Carving? How big are your spuds? I just cut them

hels – Member

I’ll take wonky bread and 7 fridges full of jam jars any day over being unable to get all the pee in the confines of the toilet bowl.

Vive la difference, and all that.

I bet you would miss if you were standing up.

As for jam in the fridge … I feel an aneurysm coming on.

My mother put the Nutella in the fridge over Christmas… I may have shown that I was somewhat disappointed when I and her precious grandkids couldn’t have chocolatey toast for breakfast…

Being a little bit sexist feels jolly liberating don’t you think.

My mother put the Nutella in the fridge over Christmas… I may have shown that I was somewhat disappointed when I and her precious grandkids couldn’t have chocolatey toast for breakfast…

Did you deck her 😡

IanMunro, no, you can’t have your genes back – I need them to dweeb over the handbook for my car, which I have finally managed to track down – it arrived yesterday – ahhhh, nerdy bliss !

carving potatoes
Carving spuds? Really? Carving? How big are your spuds? I just cut them

I like to think I peel them, but it dosnt quite work out like that in reality 😕
10lb of spuds turn into 5lb of peeled spuds

Mrs. Starship can’t cut a loaf either but she can untangle several phone chargers and sets of earphones that have got all tangled up in a drawer. Something that I cannot do :oops:.

It’s definitely something to with them not doing woodwork or a craft apprenticeship.

Mrs ADH did woodwork and metalwork while at school, whereas I did cookery.

Yet it is still me that fixes bikes, cars, computers, bits of building, all the DIY and all the cooking.

But that is becuase I want each of these things done properly FFS 😡

[/control freak]