I got married with a sausage in my pocket.
Was too nervous for breakfast so carried emergency supplies on me.

Why are you reading mums net, OP?

Is that a screenshot from an app?

we had sausages (and mash) for our wedding meal.

I may have ‘slipped one into the pocket’ later as well.

I got married with a sausage in my pocket.

I bet mrs_zippy was flattered by your reaction though.

You see, that’s the biggest problem with women’s jeans – no room for an emergency sausage…

Rachel

Why are you reading mums net, OP?

https://twitter.com/mumsnet_madness

they read it so you don’t have to…

Sausages need a wash too, especially if they’ve been in a blokes pocket.

I’d say it’s a smoke screen, there’s something else he’s not confessing up to.

😆

allthegear – Member
You see, that’s the biggest problem with women’s jeans – no room for an emergency sausage…

Rachel

POSTED 4 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

Must. Resist. Commenting.

Must. Resist. Commenting.

I’ve written and deleted the same comment about 8 times already……….

But there was this one girl where i used to work, who was renowned for going to clubs BITD in tight hot pants with her lipgloss ‘tucked away’

Urban myth, I’m sure. She was called Rachel too, though…..

i take it by ‘lipgloss’ you actually mean ‘pills’, right?

What halfwit doesn’t check jeans pockets before putting them in the washing machine?

What halfwit doesn’t check jeans pockets before putting them in the washing machine?

The sort that puts a couple of sausages in the pockets ‘for later’?

Pies I can understand, but sausages nope

What halfwit doesn’t check jeans pockets before putting them in the washing machine?

The sort that puts a couple of sausages in the pockets ‘for later’?

He leaves stuff in his pockets, but she is the one (presumably, as she’s complaining about it) who loads the washing* machine. Why doesn’t she just check before slinging them in?

(* – Oddly appropriately, I typoed that as “mashing machine” initially.)

It was Binners.
Unless they were Waitrose Low fat sausage, then it’s Perchypanther.

monkeysfeet – Member
It was Binners.
Unless they were Waitrose Low fat sausage, then it’s Perchypanther

Or of dubious tinned/spreadable nature*, in which case, bearnecessities.

“I just found two pork sausages in DH’s dirty laundry”
Perhaps beef sausages would have been more acceptable.

What on Earth is the point of low fat sausages????

Rachel

Emergency sausage in the pocket? That’s just freaky!
Now if it was a Scotch egg, I’d completely understand it.

What on Earth is the point of low fat sausages????

So you can have 2?

He leaves stuff in his pockets, but she is the one (presumably, as she’s complaining about it) who loads the washing* machine. Why doesn’t she just check before slinging them in?

yeah! she should stop being so lazy, right fellas?

doris5000 – Member
He leaves stuff in his pockets, but she is the one (presumably, as she’s complaining about it) who loads the washing* machine. Why doesn’t she just check before slinging them in?
yeah! she should stop being so lazy, right fellas?

The real question no ones asked yet…

What’s she doing away from the sink?

allthegear – Member
You see, that’s the biggest problem with women’s jeans – no room for an emergency sausage…

Rachel
I’ve just been reduced to tears laughing at that!
I so love threads like this one. 😀

..and that children, is where the phrase Pigs in Blankets comes from.

yeah! she should stop being so lazy, right fellas?

You know very well that’s not what I meant.

Christ, I even tried to explain my reasoning as to why I thought she’d be doing the laundry and also added that I do it, precisely because I knew some donut would have a pop otherwise, and that’s still not good enough. 🙄

So did she wash the porkers or not?

I’ll just leave this here:

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_kXIGvB1uU[/video]

I bet DH has them served up for breakfast tomorrow….

“There you go….DEAR….”
“I was looking for those…..I was saving them for MOTD!”

Unless they were Waitrose Low fat sausage, then it’s Perchypanther.

How very dare you. 😯

I’ve never bought anything low fat in my life…….or anything from Waitrose either for that matter.

I only keep square Lorne Sausage in my jeans. Fits the back pockets perfectly.