Ok, here is a genuine attempt at a actual description of my style
I ride hard tail because not being mechanically adept there seems far too much stuff to get confused with on a full suss.
My legs feel like lead weights at the start of rides, and any initial uphills are painfully slow.
At trail centres, I try and get up these step ups, but my pedals normally hit rocks and my bike jams and I have to stop.
To get over tree roots, I try and pick up just enough speed so that if I yank the front up, my momentum will somehow get me over.
On uphill siwtchbacks, I alwats seem to wobble and go way too wide and then the handlebars go like that and I’m off.
Going downhills, I am heavy on the brakes as whenever I seem to pick up speed, there never seems to be enough track to go round even modest cornners and I am worried about hitting boulders by the side of the trails, or just falling into ditches if there are no berms.
I always have to stop when appraching drop offs which I assume are jumps at trail centres, but get annoyed when a few inches further and you see that in fact it slopes and was probably rideable.
Things seem vertical to me when I am at the top of them, and I just imagine the bike hitting terminal velocity in microseconds, but then you see other rides not even flinch and ride down things like they are not even there.
I have just tried to start getting a little bit of air on those bumps at some trail centres, but anything else I roll over. I have tried doing a few more dop offs but can’t get over thinking I am going to fly over the handlebars (and have done so on previous occasions).
I have tried that flat plank at Dalbetties, but can’t even get on my bike without wobbling off, and have fallen off the red route northshore at Mabie on the wide corner bit.
But after saying all of that, if there is something I happen to be able to ride over it is a brill feeling, especially if you have someone to try and explain what to do.
For me it’s just about getting out there in the trees and mountains and watersfalls and stuff like that, and when you do get to the top of a massive climb, and scan the view, you just think, dang, I did that!
And yeah, assuming no major crashes, pretty much always get back with a massive smile and a bit horse from shouting woa yeah a lot on the down bits 😀
Not too sure if that fits into your 1, 2 or 3 scheme of things, but there is actually no element unfortunately of false modesty!