So, "ice axe" is the new "bombers" ..which one do I go for?
Great review here but it doesn't mention which one is best for 'owning' bike thieves / fences? (or sticking through car windscreens)
And anyone know of a telescopic one (it might look a bit obvious sticking out of the rucksack when there's no snow around)? Or is that the idea? In which case are there bike mounts available at all??
I thought the review [link above] very appropriate
The Lord of the Swings – choosing one axe to rule them all - everything you need to know about choosing a general-purpose ice axe this winter by Winter Mountain Leader, Paul Lewis.Adore Your Tool
I love my ice axe. I know its weird and I should just say that I don’t mean love in the cuddle up on the sofa with it and watch a good DVD with a bottle of chilled Chardonnay kind of way.
But I do love it in a faithful companion who’s shared some great adventures and is always there for me kind of way – and yes, I know that’s still weird. But hey, if you’re feeling a bit jealous about my metal and I, don’t despair – just read these top tips and you’ll find your perfect match too!
Looks good monty, something with a bit more weight behind it might be better tho? Still possible to get something with a wooden shaft at all??
Would not go for wood.
Modern materials is the right way.
I had an older version of this until the ex Mrs smashed it to bits levering huge rocks in the garden !!!!!!!!
I had an older version of this until the ex Mrs smashed it bits levering huge rocks in the garden !!!!!!!!
Cheers monty, just goes to show ice axes are the new bombers 
I can't tell whether you're joiking about the other thread with the axe/fence/stolen bike or genuinely want an axe; it's too early. Grivel manufacture a telescopic walking stick/ice axe; seems gimmicky to me.
Soooo I'll give you some pointers, walking axes need to be the right length for you. The old measurement was to hold the head as you would for an arrest and the spike at the end of the handle should be at your heel. Newer approaches go a little shorter, but a walking axe that's too short won't work. Technical axes are used in pairs, 50cm is a pretty good size for most. They're all quite similar, but it's the usage that affects the tweaks you want. Picks come in different ratings dependant on what you intend to do with them. Black Diamond walking axes are particularly comfy, Petzl technical axes are "trick" as the kids say.
UKClimbing.com classifieds is a good place for both types.
I have a strong feeling I've missed the irony. At least you now have a little advice on how to get one (or two) 
If you really want to assault a ruffian/scallywag/bounder in style, surely a rigid carbon 29er fork is the trend way to do so?
So, "ice axe" is the new "bombers" ..which one do I go for?Great review here but it doesn't mention which one is best for 'owning' bike thieves / fences? (or sticking through car windscreens)
I would have thought that the Black Diamond Reactor was most appropriate here.
Appropriately, it's an ice tool rather than an ice axe.
EDIT - Too tenuous?
One of the old-school mountain technology ones would be my preference. Petzl quarks are a bit nouveau, but would fit better in your bag and is shaped for easier removal from the victim's skull ice.
You want one with a hammer too, obviously.
A pair of these bad boys - DMM anarchists!
Chouinard Super Zero.
End of Thread 
One of the old-school mountain technology ones would be my preference.
Yup. Last forever.
R1016822 by stuartie_c, on Flickr
I like the shwing of me Black Diamonds.
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