Disappointing!

This year my firm merged with another firm. The other firm’s recruitment policy seems less equipped to filter out the mentally unstable. The other firm’s head office’s Christmas party was on Friday night last week. A disciplinary matter was the outcome. A “serious fight” on the dancefloor of a hotel followed by one of the perpetrators having to be removed from the office building at 6am having defacated (outwith the bathroom 😯 ) then spent several hours running amok with no clothes on.

Vintage Christmas party behaviour!

Christ!

I missed mine (which had some semi naked, fat greek dancer as the ‘special guest’) but stories are:

senior manager getting off with a young girl (he’s married, done it before)
another serial adulterer trying it on with a young lady, then texting her, asking to get back to hers, but she was outside with her boyfriend, being sick (stay classy).

sick on the dance floor, pictures of people unconscious outside the venue.

Oh yeah!

Not this year but a few years ago, the Christmas party overflowed into a local pub, a drunk colleague managed to throw up on the MD’s shoes. The MD was very good about this.

He then proceeded to start clowning about moving pool balls on one of the tables at which the MD was playing. The local who was the challenger in the match took objection to this and when the MD tried to stop a fight breaking out found himself in the middle of the ruckus.

At the next party the same chap got so drunk he threw up on the new MD’s shoes, got put in a lift and was sent up and down by his colleagues for quite a few trips. It was only at the end of the last trip that they found when the door had opened, he had managed to projectile vomit bright red (wine) vomit over the floor, all four walls and the ceiling of the interior of the lift.

I should drop my friends at that company an email and find out what he has done this year.

Another lad I used to work with who was of a somewhat diminutive stature has since been known as Sam the Ram after he spend an entire Christmas party head-charging/butting everyone he could find.

Such normal blokes day to day but loopy after a few glasses of free vino.

was plumbing class christmas drinkies last night.

Im out of my depth at these things nowadays, so took myself off the pitch for the last train from Worcester to Malvern at 23:00 last night. That just left me a 6mile walk home along the Malvern Hills in the rain until 2:30 this morning.
I consider that a more enjoyable use of my time 🙂

This is why I refuse to go.

a 6 mile walk home stoner? light a fat one up, tunes on, be there in no time. 😆

A big company I used to work for had a number of departmental christmas dos, some with open ticket sales to anyone from the company who wanted to go. The most popular party was other wise known as ‘slag bashers’. There where always some good stories after that, often involving fights, sex in inappropriate places (snooker room was adjacent to the hall used for the party) and/or with inappropriate people.

As i now work from home and rarely see colleagues I think I’ll just have a mince pie and a small sherry tomorrow when I finish for the year.

I passed on my office party due to my unwritten rule of not taking part in forced jollity and never drinking on the company time.

However, I _am_ going to my wife’s Christmas meal, which promises to have much nicer food (if I can remember what I ordered) better wine and a more reasonable cab ride home.

Mine starts in 41 mins. Wooooooooooo.

I have 2 tonight. One in Greenwich with the project team and one in Chiswick with my firm. I really don’t want to go to Chiswick, but seeing as I’ve paid 1/6th the cost of it I suppose I’d better go.

9 mins. I don’t really want to go but I do want to leave the office!

Stoner I bet that was a bundle of laughs!

My mates IT department night out began looking up when they bumped into a group of good looking girls enjoying their works night out

Turned out they were lap dancers on a night off!

Saw him again tonight – he greeted me with “Have I told you about our night out…..”

Several million times!

Boss went home pukeing in a taxi after buying everyone lots of drinks, restraunt we went to kicked us out and told us not to come back next year.one lad got arrested for punching a girl,as she jumped on him and started punching and scratching him for spilling his drink on her.

and the rest of us were out till around 9 the next morining.

mine had table top dancers, bunny girls and live music by Kasabian. quite tame really 😀

A friend worked for a large Ad Agency in the mid 80’s their Office was on Gt Portland Street. One of their Christmas parties turned into a huge binge of Romanesque proportions to such an extent that the MD was found at 8.00 the following morning in a skip outside the office.

Lucy still refuses to admit to what happened in the boardroom but does go bright red every time it gets mentioned.

I avoid them but a biking mate had his last Friday. Ended up with one of the young fellas being extricated from the mens bogs of a strip club having locked himself in, shat himself, puked on himself etc. Floor to roof doors so required an angle grinder to get the door off.

A couple of years ago we got our three regional offices/yards together (Glasgow, Manchester and West Thurrock) to try and foster a bit of team spirit as up until then they all moaned about each other. It was in the Bolton at Reebok Stadium’s corporate hospitality.

The Glasgow lot were a bit boistrous early on (heckling Director’s during speeches, etc) but weren’t much hassle as they had got pished so early on the bus down they were pretty subdued by the evening.

There was niggle from the moment their eyes met between the Mancs and Essex Boys; culminating in the manager from darn sarf (an ex-Royal Marine PT Instructor) trying to fight the Northerner yard man who was a bare knuckle boxer. It was a comedy scene with about 5 folk hanging on each of their arms as they punched each other really slowly. Luckily the MD (68 year old fella) defused the situation by pouring a pint over a bouncer’s head. Then one of the lads shat himself in one of the corporate lounges.

The next day was Christmas Eve, and when I left there were about 10 folk from different ends of the country staggering about an empty, rainswept car-park. Busses long gone.

Ah; Christmas parties…

I was on my works do on Saturday night, had a moment of clarity about 10pm and thought “these people are all w@nkers” & went home

We had Maverick Sabre at ours. He was shite.

Some lad that trains mma was asked to demonstrate a choke hold after too many lagers and ended up nearly getting sacked after the other guy passed out.

Then one of the managers thought it’d be cool to do the catapiller on the dance floor until he tried to round it off will a little somersault. Gave himself a bad concussion then spent 20 mins accusing various people of lamping him until the paramedics arrived and carted him off. I left at this point……