Over two years of history with a violent bully who lives next door. Wife and two teenage daughters. I’ve had one confrontation with him after he reversed his guests car into mine, quite heavily and went to disappear back into his house. I stopped him, verbally and he went mental. I retreated inside fearing for my safety.

Tonight there was a really horrible violent kick-off in his house. It sounded like a bad bar brawl. Lots of effing and banging. It sounded like he was being restrained from attacking his eldest daughter.

Me and Mrs s were really shocked.

He is a MASSIVE weed user and I’m convinced he is suffering psychosis as a result.

Anyway I’ve waffled on. My question is – what is the trigger for dialling 999?

sounds to me like a reasonable step to take if you fear someone is in danger

Now.

Tell the police what you’re hearing and let them decide.

Prob best if the neighbour doesn’t know it was you who called though if that’s possible

I’m going to take a guess it’s not that serious if you’re taking the time to take advice from an internet forum.

Seems you have a strong suspicion he was about to ‘attack’ his daughter.

I reckon that makes it time to make a call

Before posting on social media.

yes ..i’d notify the police at least ..sounds like he deserves a visit anyhow.

I’d let it play out. He might do something terrible and get himself locked up. Peace and quiet for you and your Mrs. Two less neighbours to worry about in future as well.

Only when the internet has reached a consensus can you act

He might do something terrible and get himself locked up. Peace and quiet for you and your Mrs. Two less neighbours to worry about in future as well.

This is completely incorrect.

It’s two fewer neighbours.

Last time I hesitated it turned out the guy was having a heart attack, so call now

46 minutes ago?

derek_starship – Member
I’ve had one confrontation with him after he reversed his guests car into mine, quite heavily and went to disappear back into his house. I stopped him, verbally and he went mental. I retreated inside fearing for my safety.

about then.

the correct time was 2 yrs ago

A long time before you need to call the ambulance

It’s a difficult one, no harm in calling but there’s little they’ll do unless someone in your neighbour’s family makes a complaint and chances are they would have already. Also depends how seriously your local force takes domestic violence (if that indeed is going on).

When I was young and nutty I heard what sounded like our neighbour attacking his wife in the middle of the night. Got out of bed, dressed and banged on the door. He opened it to my bleary eyed “Shut the F up!”. He did.
Nowadays I’d definitely call the cops.

I reckon domestic violence is one of the top things cops are called out to. They have to be expert in assessing and dealing with it. I’d call em.

It’s a difficult one, no harm in calling but there’s little they’ll do unless someone in your neighbour’s family makes a complaint and chances are they would have already.

though

He is a MASSIVE weed user and I’m convinced he is suffering psychosis as a result.

if it smells like it then it would be an ample opportunity for them to have a look around really.

You can still call the police about last night’s incident. The wife and daughter may need the intervention to be able to seek help if he’s abusive.
Better to do something rather than nothing at all

Obviously the moment has passed now, but another thing to consider – it could be helpful for the Wife and Daughters in the future if they can prove a history of abuse – a couple of calls by Old Bill to sort out a domestic would do that.

The weed might equally be the only thing that calms him down and keeps his temper under control though…

101 now.

999 next time. If you hear violence, call the police and let them judge. Better to call the police than wait until you have to call an ambulance.

FuzzyWuzzy – Member
The weed might equally be the only thing that calms him down and keeps his temper under control though…

Then the police need a chat and his GP also.

Mrs Gti and I witnessed a farmer going bonkers one day, while his wife and teenage son cowered in terror. He looked like a man at the end of his tether with stress, it was unpleasant to see. I don’t regret not calling the Police because I remember seeing my Dad in similar fits of rage and he never actually harmed anybody but if you think somebody is being assaulted it might be time for a quiet word with your neighbourhood beat officer.

I don’t know about England and Wales but in Scotland if you’d called the police there is a very high probability the guy would have been lifted and been locked up overnight (unless he was very savvy and knew the game). It’s taken really seriously now and there are strict protocols that they follow.

Basically you report you heard a serious domestic incident, then the police knock the door and ask what’s going on. Any response other than “nothing” corroborates your report and the suspect would be taken away while the facts are worked out. Past experiences suggest the risks are too great to leave them to it.

– but there’s little they’ll do unless someone in your neighbour’s family makes a complaint and chances are they would have already.

ah, the myth that lets it keep going on…

Ah, the second myth – its only a problem if he hits someone…

Mrs Gti and I witnessed a farmer going bonkers one day, while his wife and teenage son cowered in terror. He looked like a man at the end of his tether with stress, it was unpleasant to see. I don’t regret not calling the Police because I remember seeing my Dad in similar fits of rage and he never actually harmed anybody but if you think somebody is being assaulted it might be time for a quiet word with your neighbourhood beat officer

Well you’re right, somebody should have involved the Police because the man was absolutely apoplectic with rage so at least it might have saved him from a heart attack. I think nowadays I would make that phone call as 101 is available for this kind of thing. Judging from the run-down state of many of the hill farms we see when out cycling in Lancashire I’d be willing to bet there’s an awful lot of stress, abuse, breakdown and drugs and alcohol going on, hidden away from any neighbours.

Sometimes we all loose the plot and get shouty, (thats what this forum is for) but he obviously hasnt got a log in, so either wait till you get at least 5 pages, or ring the police, and if the kids are under 16 ring NSPCC, they love this sort thing.

ah, the myth that lets it keep going on…

OK so the police turn up, knock on the door and ask what’s going on. No one in the family says anything (other than there was a bit of shouting), exactly what are the police going to do? Nothing – that’s no myth (and what could they do in those circumstances?) . Maybe, if there is domestic violence going on, the police turning up would be a catalyst for the wife/daughter making a complaint (which is why it’s useful to do) but my point was if they don’t and all the OP has witnessed is noise then they won’t/can’t act.

Sure some forces will be more up on things and may give out leaflets or advice and ofc if someone is showing obvious signs of injury they’ll act but the original post doesn’t confirm actual violence is going on, just a lot of banging and shouting. The police aren’t going to arrest him for breaking a vase.

You are alpin and I claim my €5

they love this sort thing.

What’s the phrase..? Oh yeah: Stay classy.

My ex heard something similar when we lived in an Edinburgh tenement years ago.

Police turned up, almost banged the door down until the guy answered, then they went inside and had a nice wee chat with him.

They kind of spoiled their impressive response by leaving the property and immediately coming across the landing to speak to my ex, giving Mr Psycho next door a good wee clue as to who had phoned them 🙄

Only when the internet has reached a consensus can you act

Five pages at least before Derek is allowed to do anything

FuzzyWuzzy, well for a start half the time when the police turn up he’ll lose his temper at them and that will get the ball rolling. even if he is calm and collected Then they will usually expect to come in and have a chat, and usually that will mean speaking to the other occupants alone, a lot easier for them to share a concern than pick up the phone and call the police. It does not require a “victim” to make a complaint, and an admission that there was a bit of shouting will be enough in many cases as tomd said.

I know not all areas are as proactive. But Certainly here though if there is even a hint of violence (including throwing things) or coercion to keep quiet they’ll intervene. Even if that is not by prosecution it will go in the intelligence system so next time, or the time after, etc they have a basis for opposing bail when it is eventually needed.

At the end of the day though a decent police force will treat oppressive partners with the seriousness they deserve, and attitudes in the police have moved on a lot since the 1980s.

Poly wins the correct answer prize . DV is a massive priority when I started work in the 80s I used to advise victims to say it was a stranger or rapist trying to get in the house never an ex or current. Now DV is the hot button cops will turn up with body cams on , isolate “victims”from partner and gather evidence to proceeded based on hearsay ,res gestae and circumstances without a willing complaint.
Ring the police the bare minimum result will be a call out record to back up the next allegation and some protective monitoring.

tomd – Member
I don’t know about England and Wales but in Scotland if you’d called the police there is a very high probability the guy would have been lifted and been locked up overnight (unless he was very savvy and knew the game). It’s taken really seriously now and there are strict protocols that they follow.

And if it’s not the guy who is the abuser? Serious question, based on my own life experience.

And if it’s not the guy who is the abuser? Serious question, based on my own life experience.

Then he gets a night of relative safety, away from his abuser, where he can tell the police what’s going on.

But given the OP, do you really think that’s what’s going on? And even if it is happening that way round, does that mean the OP shouldn’t phone the police when he thinks someone is being attacked next door?

If the woman isthe abuser the women gets locked up instead. I have seen this while working for the police.

You don’t live in Oldham/shaw do you???

They kind of spoiled their impressive response by leaving the property and immediately coming across the landing to speak to my ex, giving Mr Psycho next door a good wee clue as to who had phoned them

I had something very similar. Gave me a very low opinion of the police force.

Lived in a giant semi detached on which both sides had been converted into 4 flats. Heard the neighbour beating up/abusing his wife through the wall. Eventually called the police, but they were utterly incompetent and couldn’t proceed without the neighbour’s postcode. I told repeatedly that I didn’t know the neighbour’s postcode and had no way of getting it. In the end I gave them my postcode and told them it was NOT that postcode, but the other section of flats attached to it. I gave them detailed instructions on how to get to his flat and told them that on no account must any policeman turn up to my house.

About half an hour later 4 brainless moron police were knocking on my door. Took me a while to explain the concept of semi detached houses to them and sent them on their way.

Ten minutes later they’re back to tell me that he said he hadn’t done anything.

NO SHIT. Will you please **** off from my front doorstep so that I have a chance of living through the next 24 hours.

Cretins (possibly the controller, not the plod, but either way)