Just in a reflective mood, looking back on the last decade and trying to figure out if its been a good decade…

In some ways it has been a good decade, I completed my GCSEs, ASlevels, A2 levels, got into a top 10 uni, completed my degree this year found a well paid graduate job and now living with another graduate, my mother who is terminally ill has made it through the decade, and thankfully I have not lost anyone close to me. I have everything I need, friends to go drinking with, a job that I enjoy doing but I'm still un happy.

But i sit here looking back, and think that my life is not going in the right direction, I have the foundations in place to have a good comfortable life, but I also think that life is moving to fast and experiences are passing me by and I'm set on this course and I'm not sure if its the right course for me.

How do you know if its the right direction? or is it ok to be uncertain? has anyone else found this and what did you do?

Post Christmas,omnes anima tristes sunt.
Ian
(With apologies to Aristotle)

I've been thinking it for 2 months now, i was expecting christmas to get me out of the thinking but it hasn't.

money and work i need! new woman too. 😉 house aswell!

but I'm still un happy

your just one of lifes misserable sods. . . . . . na what you need is sun, brother and the sooner the better.

I'm 40 yrs old and still don't know what i want to do, or what life is about…

But i'm very happy indeed, i have a wife i love very much.

You don't say whether you're single?

To quote Aerosmith:

"Life's a journey, not a destination"

Think in terms of days, not decades. I've recognised winter gets me down so refuse to do any long term planning – I save that for spring and summer. Oh other than planning for a great summer holiday of course – slovakia and croatia this year.

41 yrs old, happily married, 2 lovely daughters – still not sure what I want to be when I grow up.

Desire is the cause of suferring. You life will happen just as it should so just chill out and cheer up dude! 😀

And make sure you have some fun!

Badnewz – my views are the complete opposite. Don't just live for the day, instead look forward and set goals you want to achieve in life.

I feel that too many people are stuck in an endless cycle of Christmas/summer holiday/Christmas and so ad infinitum, an think it far better to have long term goals.

I'm 28, when I'm 30 I'm going to Everest Base Camp and climb a 6000m peak, by 35 I will be a director in my company and have done Mont Blanc, by 40 I'll have completed the Munros and an 8000m peak and by 45 I want to have climbed Everest. There's no point in thinking small.

My views on work have changed, its only function is to let me do the things I enjoy so it can't really be that bad

AlasdairMc – fair enough, although I'm not saying it's a bad thing to plan – I'm making the point that its generally not a good time to think in terms of decades when your not feeling too great, which for a lot of people tends to be the winter time.

Well I am single, i generally push people away before forming a bond. Perhaps I need to let more people in and start enjoying life a nit more rather then looking to the future.

I'm 28, when I'm 30 I'm going to Everest Base Camp and climb a 6000m peak, by 35 I will be a director in my company and have done Mont Blanc, by 40 I'll have completed the Munros and an 8000m peak and by 45 I want to have climbed Everest. There's no point in thinking small

…ah, the best laid plans of mice and men…

I think you're right, i was pretty bored with life and always on a mission like AlasdairMc. I travelled the world for 5yrs but got bored with that. Then when i was 33 yrs old and although never wanting kids EVER! my then girlfriend found she was pregnant.

This stopped me in my tracks and i was pissed off, looking back it was the best thing that could have happened because it stopped me being a selfish f%ck and i had to grow up.

We split up and have since remarried but i'm unbelievably happy and chilled. Maybe like me you're crap single, you just need the right partner, took me 40 yrs to find her though….

In some ways the last 10yrs has been shit, in some other ways the last 10 yr has been great – on balance the decade has been decidedly average, but then again it's been ridiculously eventful.

Have the time of my life doing my degree,
Get the best job in the world,
Dad gets cancer,
I leave best job in the world and get a decent job,
I get married, burgled, shot at, parental death, have a kid in the space of a year,
I take 6 months out due to ill health,
Start a business,
Move to one of the best biking spots on the planet
Have another kid,
Business fails,
Go start another degree and finally find what I should be doing with my life.

It's been eventful.

Sounds like you are doing well and have achieved alot but you feel you need to achieve more. Being uncertain comes when we concentrate on the negatives of your current situation. Get with the positives and carry on achieving goals wether small or big. Right down what is mostly on your mind right now, just one thing at a time, and concentrate on that. One thing at a time. Slow down and look around!

Mixed decade, highs, lows, start a band have a blast, have a kid, have a serious nervous breakdown, get through it, realise that staying together for the kid is not the best thing, kid is still monumentally happy and loved, hit 40 decide that my job sucks and decide that i've grown the cohones to go do something about it next year. All in all i've nothing to grumble about, nothing killed me and things made me stronger. Think its called life!! Happy new year and decade to all on the forum.

The past ten years have been great.
Bought a nice house very cheap.
Got re married
Saw two great kids grow up.
Started a business.

The only downside was nearly losing everything because of my business, I got taken for enough to buy a small house last year.

The next decade?
Re structure my business.
Prep my house for my later years 😐
Keep riding and racing.
Look after my wife and kids

I spent years thinking I wanted to be successful have a career and earn loads,acquire things etc.

Had my boy realised I want none of it,all I want is to have fun with my family and friends

I also noticed since moving from Britain that we winge a lot which I think used to be one of the things that got me down

Most this decade –

Single and broke.

Next decade

Probably Single and most likely broke.

Dont give a F*ck, it'll just be another 10 years of riding my bike and braking bones.

I read this with interest; I thought I was sorted great job, two wonderful kids, happily married. Then two weeks ago I found out my wife is having an affair, no longer loves me and we have separated.
I'm in bits and absolutely bereft, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other…..

"Nothing good last forever"
Enjoy what you have folks.

I'm 28, when I'm 30 I'm going to Everest Base Camp and climb a 6000m peak, by 35 I will be a director in my company and have done Mont Blanc, by 40 I'll have completed the Munros and an 8000m peak and by 45 I want to have climbed Everest. There's no point in thinking small.

I am 33 and have done all but the last two. If you're going to think big make it real big – real big does not include Mt Everest.

my 19yo mate climb everest, youngest britain at the time, died last year climbing mnt blanc age of 21

If I was everyone I'd think about what is going to happen first when fuel prices really go through the roof, then food then the end of civilisation as we know it.

I give us 15-20 years as we know it.

42yrs old, my own house, pet dog, Carbon full sus, Titanium hardtail, Willier road bike, good job, my missus for the last 26yrs & mother of my 3 beautifull daughters died of cancer 2 months ago!!!!!!
Whatever you have cherish it with all your heart,- cause one day it might be ripped from it, and your whole world will never ever be the same.
reflect on that…

judderman…what a heart-breaking post. You must have been childhood sweethearts. Really hope you have found the strength to give your girls a loving(if not sad) Christmas.

Indeed, forget long-term plans, and just live, and love for today.
No-one has any idea what tomorrow may bring.

Sorry to hear that judderman.

And so it seems everyone, live for today, be cool, enjoy.

Good night.

xx

I will beat my incurable cancer.

I will love my wife forever.

I will give her the opportunity to become the amazing mother I know she'll be.

This is not a wish list. These will all happen. Because we don't give up. Ever.

I have had a few major life events occur during the last decade, Dad dying, two kids born,business opening and failure, becoming professionaly qualified.

However, the thing which has had the biggest impact on me has been illness. Six months after my Dad died I developed stomach and gut problems. I was diagnosed with H-Pylori but the antibiotic didn't work. I took all sorts of stomach tablets over the next year but nothing was really working.

I took the idea in my head that I had cancer or was otherwise seriously ill. After going back and forward to my GP for over a year I went into some sort of denial and stopped seeking medical treatment. I got sicker and sicker, I could eat fewer and fewer foods, my ability to exercise was limited as exertion seemed to aggravate it etc.

Then, earlier this year when my business partner was acting bizarrely and I became seriously stressed, I stopped eating almost entirely and my stomach seemed to clear up. It has come back a bit recently but fingers crossed it's just over indulgence at Christmas.

The single biggest effect thinking I was ill had was to stop me thinking long term. I just lived for the day and that was the worst thing I could have done.

There were things I really wanted to do with my life which would require careful planning and putting groundwork in place over 3-5 years. I didn't do it because I genuinely thought my illness would get worse and could stop me working altogether.

My view is that you have little or no control over the future but for your own peace of mind, do everything within your power to create the future you want. It's doing the best by yourself that matters.

Carpe diem.
I was going to work, but I'm off riding instead. Nicely frozen again.

Goan when did you do mt blanc?

Which route and how did you do it?

Most of the last decade has been marred by crippling OCD.
Still managed to get married twice 8O, divorced once, have a lovely little girl and a little'un imminent. Destroyed my wrist, forced to give up career, started a new one, got promoted a couple of times, bought 3 houses, gave up bmx (sort of) and surfing, re-started mountain biking, had a couple of courses of therapy, had a load more tattoos done, gave up drinking, stopped going to see bands (again sort of), and lost my dad.

All in my 30s, roll on the 40s – a little less stressful would be nice (2 liitle rustys, it ain't gonna be is it?) 😕

When I was feeling contemplative many years ago, I got this printed on a few t-shirts for my mates:
"Happiness is the art of balancing the fact that every day could be your last, against the risk that it probably isn't."
I have a good life, but never dare take it for granted. Too many do.

last decade has been pretty good to me. hoping the next one will be at least as good…..

Kiril. I am in a very similar position to you. Drop me a mail if you want to share/ vent with someone who understands what you are going through. timbod1975 at googlemail dot com

grievoustim ygm!

Thanks

ianpinder – Member

I've been thinking it for 2 months now, i was expecting christmas to get me out of the thinking but it hasn't.

me n all

To Quote Eddie Hitler;

"You get born, you keep your head down and then you die. If you're lucky"

😆

life is hard and shit stuff happens – to everyone, no exceptions

the key is how you respond. petesgaff will succeed because he has decided that he will. others give in.

don't label things as bad or good, they're just circumstances to be overcome or sometimes ignored. why should shit not happen to us?

the last 5 years for me would make a great movie – I used to see it all as a disaster, but it wasn't – it was just life. I could go on, but i won't