Would it be a 24 hour race, a multi day stage event? A single afternoon?

Would it involve all riders cross dressing? A weekend dedicated to one niche/brand? Cheap booze and strippers?

Would you like big prizes and a higher priced entry fee or the other way round?

Describe your ideal event … you know, if that certain brand of lager did mountain biking.

Urban races are epic. Short lap, pairs or solo, an hour long. Make sure its got lots of steep short climbs and stairs and drops. Small prize, small entry fee.

A bit like That Welsh Ride Thing that was plugged to death on here a few months ago, ideally involving lock-ins at the pubs on route and the chance to “bivvy” in the Wendy House located in the pub car park. If it involved riding across Monks Trod at 7.30am on a crystal clear sunny morning, it would be just about perfect. No need for prizes if all that was on offer. 😆

Plugged, plugged … I recall it had a brief mention 😉

Like Trans-provence, 25 od timed DH singeltrack stages on a big old ride, but through the highlands. Why does this not exist yet? WHHYY???? I’m looking at you No Fuss

SPAM set2rise, only with running water, bikewash and a few showers. Its pretty much my perfect event.

-it’s at night!
-team pair or solo enduro
-nice longish lap.
-proper noodly funny singletrack.
-big old climb do-able lap after lap on a singlespeed (if you want: I won’t!)
-low riders-per-km ratio (set2rise is one of the best iirc)
-did I mention the night bit?

Sadly the Erlestoke site doesn’t have much in the way of running water or even a stream nearby, and I suppose that limits it in terms of the size and duration of even you could hold there, by needing plentiful water supply water to wash bikes and people after a certain amount of time. Ace to have a proper surfaced car park if its really boggy, mind.

The Shred night-time cyclocross at newnham the other week was truly hilarious as well. The opposite of a mountain bike enduro really, but still one of the funnest races I have done.
-It was at night!
-Some singletrack involved.
-Live band pumping out proper pub raaaawk!
-Course had to be laid out like ‘intestines’ to keep it at least a bit floodlit, but consequently great for spectators and indeed other riders heckling each other, as you passed within the same patch of jeering/cheering folk several times a (about as short as is allowed) lap.
-commentator was good: knew the riders well, and was just the right side of dastardly and sarky and got the spectators shouting a lot.
-Did I mention that it was at night?

All it needed was a beer tent (preferably with the course running through it), and a couple more daft/tricky obstacles/features.

Of course my children (who have been to watch/fallen asleep in campring chairs at most of the races mrs julian and I have done) still think that the king of all bike events is that annual southern softy stw love-in that is always being punted about on here. 😀

1-1.5 hours xc, 15-20 minute laps, le mans style start (run to the bikes pref about 400m running so I can holeshot!) technical ish lap, muddy as hell and raining! Failing that I like the gorricks.

Iain

Completely impractical, but i quite fancy a urban endurance race. 8-12hrs in a city centre somewhere would be immense.

I did this in the Summer..

Pretty much nailed it for me..

Avalanche Enduro style, with the aforementioned night stage.

And first place for me, obviously..

I put on my ideal MTB event back in April Stu and you were there 😉

I dreamed up a sort of side-event race involving:

Two flat pedal, singlespeed hardtails with or without forks.

One short loop involving a climb or two, technical features and a descent with passing lines, all within view to the spectators.

Two riders stepping up to race

Lots of drunk spectators heckling and placing bets on the outcome.

Much like the BUSA Champs basically.

My dream event would be the Roc D’Azur and luckily I am going back on Thursday!

Bring on the sunshine and girl’s in bikinis on the beach section. It’s the best race I have ever done and I have done some epic events before.

I recommend it to you all.

A 100 mile Enduro . 10 mile laps. Start at 10am saturday . Finish when you have ridden 100 miles. Solo’s / 2’s / 4’s . Hot showers and real toilets.
Then big beer related party, BBQ with band , heckling at the soloists and fat knackers still lapping , hopefully in the dark.
All for a £30 entry fee, which gets you food and beer tokens.
Lap timing for willy waving afterwards.
Large cake stall plus massage tent.
Like CLIC24, but only for 100 miles

A 1-2 hour race round some awesome singletrack with enough open bits for overtaking.

Reasonably cheap entry fee. Some little prizes for the winners as well as maybe some little spot prizes.

2-3hrs with lots of difficult technical/muddy bits and scary descents.

Several mandatory checkpoints around the course with tables covered with doughnuts.

Each one you eat knocks 5 minutes off your time.

What julianwilson said.
Set2Rise 12 hours overnight on Salisbury Plain.

A 12 hour version of the FoD Enduro would be good too.

Coast to Coast Woodcock style starting around 6pm on a Friday evening so a good ole nightride over the Black Sail Pass and Walna Scar road then finish in Scarborogh probably by Sunday morning for good uns.
Maybe do it in legs in a team of Four

Megavalanche in Alpe d’Huez minus the falling off hurting my wrist and failing to finish:-(

48 hour StrathPuffer with somewhere warm & comfortable for my wife to sit and moan as I circulate 🙂

Oh and she’d want h&c running water in clean bathrooms. (Can’t have the poor soul suffering too much while I’m enjoying myself)

Slightly downhill for 20 miles and everyone but me has to wear a full suit of Armour and carry a shield in one hand

Like Trans-provence, 25 od timed DH singeltrack stages on a big old ride, but through the highlands. Why does this not exist yet? WHHYY???? I’m looking at you No Fuss

Something like that would be awesome. I’d fancy a timed ascent followed by a rest and then a timed descent. It would force you to use the same bike but it wouldn’t really be a cross country race. You could do it at a trail centre or in the hills. Maybe there’s such a thing already?

40 – 50 miles, lots of hills, nice fast rideable descents (no steps or big drops – I know, I’m a jessy), handicap system giving mins./hours start depending on how old and decrepit you are :lol:.
Lashings of beer and cake to follow.

off road between pubs, in the summer. No rain. All downhill.

Riding round and round in circles in a flat, muddy field. 😛

Like Trans-Provence but with uplifts!

I read an article about jousting recently. Looked fun.

I reckon you could do that on a bike ? Kind of an agressive version of dual slalom.

Then we could test all the protective equipment available and come up with some reliable and verifiable (by witnesses !) statistics on how useful helmets etc really are, and finally put an end to all the yapping on the subject.

You could do it at night, under lights, with music, beer and scantily dressed damsels, for those for whom atmosphere is more important than biking.

I am beginning to think something like a Super D that they do in America.A kind of downhill and XC race combined.Maybe 2 hours max and maybe limited to 5″ trailbikes? Would get a lot of people racing! Maybe a few beers and a party afterwards?
Thanx Max