I'm thinking " Now Suck My Cock Gary" but I've had a few drinks.

Take one dose every 5km.

Does it really matter? With your eyesight you won't see it anyhoo!

They do brail.

They do brail.

just replace it with a cheese grater, he'll bleed to death trying to read it

Just got me some of them new fangled spectacles. Christ my place is a mess and who's that ugly bitch who keeps getting into my bed?

Will blow goats for cash…

Live life to it's fullest. Drink this flask to it's emptiest.

How about a Sailor?

Get some updoc on there.

Fanny basher?

shaken not stirred?

"I wish this was mummy"

Name and emergency contact details?

'I've pissed in this you know'.

In very small lettering.

Sailor could be tops at the mo.

"this belongs to some pretentious **** from singletrackworld" – but everyone will already realise that the moment they see you're riding with a hipflask so you might as well just get "The Sweede" on it. 😛

Mates' wife bought him an iPod a couple of years ago and used the Apple engraving service.

She was a bit pissed when placing the order, so mate now has an iPod engraved with 'With kove, sory for all the nagging, Love Gill'. 🙂

Swede – Its got to be a Sailor on the bottom!!! Ooo-errr missus!

Since it's the sort of thing that they gift you when you bought a Rover 75 or Rover 45, do you not want something that follows on from that text already on the side?

Your retirement date perhaps? 😉

"Look at the chin on that"

open other end