She's five and half months old, and rather large. Not particularly fat mind beyond a fair amount of baby fat, just normally proportioned. She can sit up but not for long, she hasn't got the hang of not throwing herself around for purposes of not falling over and hurting hurself yet.

Anyway, the problem is we don't know what to do with her physically. I mean, we want to do housework or other things but she has to be held and entertained constantly. She has a swing with toys on it but she's too big for it. She's also just about too big for all those baby walker/entertainment centre things as well. She's as big a a kid who you'd just pop in a playpen with some toys whilst she amused herself and you did the dishes, but she's not old enough for that.

You also can't get anything done when she sleeps, because there's only a couple of naps a day, and they are only 30 mins long.

Got any ideas?

Lay her down on the floor and let her play with a toy. Our lads are huge, thats what wee did. Dont be affraid to let her cry for a bit either.

Dont be afraid to let her cry for a bit either.

+1

Sounds like she has you wrapped around her not so little finger.

^^ what he said. Put her down and let her get on with it. She won't like it at first but that's because she's had constant attention.
She'll get over it and be all the better for it.

Lay her on the floor. Get one of those frames with hanging toys on.

Don't lay her on the floor near the washing machine while you put some washing in – if you drop the washing powder it's go all over them and you'll end up holding their head under a shower to wash it out of their eyes, then having to go to A&E…

our youngest is going through a clingy stage and makes it a bit of a nightmare…best to let her entertain herself and make sure shes plenty toys to hold etc. if she cant move too much then she cant come to any harm, trust the advice on here…its much worse when they do start to ctawl!!

door bouncer?

she has to be held and entertained constantly

you only think that. she's trained you well

we used one of those laid back chair things

mikeactually – do you work for H&S? – that was a bizarre thing to post

Yep, I just let mine get on with it, having a good old whinge/cry. Remember you do have to still function and cant hold them all the time. My two are now nearly 3 and 5, especially when you have the second they learn pretty quick to amuse themselves. You might feel a bit mean at first but they soon learn.

What they said, the baby needs to HTFU Door bouncer or just leaver her. YOu may know that we've got twins and therefore my wife had no option but to often leave them alone, they don't bother about it at all once they are used to it

I'm guessing that mikeactually is talking from experience rather than from a H&S background.

mikeactually – do you work for H&S? – that was a bizarre thing to post

That's the voice of experience speaking that is.

Lay her down on the floor and let her play with a toy. Our lads are huge, thats what wee did. Dont be affraid to let her cry for a bit either.

She really doesn't enjoy being left on the floor with the hangy things. I know she doesn't enjoy it, so I don't like leaving her there. She cries to tell me she doesn't enjoy it. If I were forced to do something I really didn't like, I'd be pretty frigging miserable too. So leaving her cry just doesn't appeal to me since I don't want to make her miserable.

we used one of those laid back chair things

She's too big for all those. Including the door bouncer. If we left her on the floor she'd not be able to play with her toys since she'd be on her back. She's had a good couple of hours on the sofa with us playing and whatnot but we have to keep righting her every 1-5 mins since she falls over.

You asked what to do. Everyone told you the same thing. If you don;t want to do it, it's up to you. For my 2p, I was going to say "let her cry". She'll soon get the message. If not you'll end up like my sister in law where she has to spend every waking minute keeping her 6 year old entertained.

She really doesn't enjoy being left on the floor with the hangy things. I know she doesn't enjoy it, so I don't like leaving her there. She cries to tell me she doesn't enjoy it. If I were forced to do something I really didn't like, I'd be pretty frigging miserable too. So leaving her cry just doesn't appeal to me since I don't want to make her miserable.

We've all been there, but you have to be cruel to be kind. She doesn't need to be held continually, she cries because that is all she is used to and knows that if she does, you will pick her up. BUT its unsustainable for the reasons you identified in your opening post.

She will moan for a while, but will get used to it and learn to explore and play by herself if you stick at it.

MTFU – you will all be better for it in the long run.

She'll soon get the message

What – f*ck off?

She's independently minded but frustrated. When she's old enough to learn how to do stuff herself, then she'll be fine I am sure.

I was thinking some kind of seating arrangement with a place to play with her toys, but that's not a crappy plasticy beeping annoying in your face thing. And can take babies above 10-11kg.

she cries because that is what she likes being held

If that were true she'd stop when you picked her up. She doesn't for more than abotu 5 seconds. She cries cos she's frustrated.

What – f*ck off?

Mmmm – wonders where she gets her petulance from 😆

EDIT – Aaah I see it was a question rather than a retort. Muchos apologies – you are still being too soft though.

[mother in law] You're making a rod for your own back [/mother in law]

F*ck off wasn't from me now was it.. read the post..

molgrips – you could do worse than try the advice given above before dismissing it out of hand. She has you wrapped round her little finger. If you dont change that now, its going to get worse and worse and worse.

Also try laying her face down on the floor. Encourage her to push herself up and start towards crawling.

rod
back
make
your
for
a
own

arrange as necessary…..

if she doesn't stop crying when you pick her up, then maybe just do what you need to do while she cries on the floor? have you tried the TV?

I agree, (have 2 boys) It's hard, but let them whinge for a bit. If she's not old enough to get about, then just stick her in the middle of the floor with some kind of entertainment. We had a big blanket thing with loads of "entertainment" stitched in. No size issues there (my boys were both 98%ile on their height and weight, so big uns)

you could do worse than try the advice given above before dismissing it out of hand

Do you really think that in the 5 months so far we haven't tried lots of different things, learned to understand what makes our daughter tick and how she reacts to various things? Do you think we haven't learned the difference between angry attention seeking, fear, tiredness, hunger, illness and frustration? Cos we have. And we deal with them all differently. So easy with the patronising parenting how-tos please.

The question was about seating not parenting. Sorry for the poor wording.

She has you wrapped round her little finger

That's just the conclusion you jumped to.

have you tried the TV?

Yeah, that sometimes works. She loves tennis.

molgrips – you obviously know it all. Good luck with it and god help you if you have another before your little princess is about 18 😆

Well, seeing as you're the expert, and none of us have ever been through anything similar what are you going to try?

"She's as big a a kid who you'd just pop in a playpen with some toys whilst she amused herself and you did the dishes, but she's not old enough for that."

Both ours went in a playpen from 5 months, why not old enough?

I would listen to the advice above if I were u…

My ickle monster is 7 weeks next tuesday and I know me and the Mrs are going to have some fallouts 😆 . I am in the old school don't pick them up every 5 minutes mind set, as from what i have seen pampered babies turn into right pains in the butt. If they are not in any harm, not hungry, not soiled and are perfectly safe let them cry it's not doing them any harm is it. Pandering to their every need will bite you in the ass at a later date.
That's my 2ps worth

Our kids are **** massive for their age. My girl was 3 last Sunday but she looks 4-5 years.

The boy is 20 months but looks 2-3 years old. He can't talk properly and gets really frustrated when he's trying to communicate anything to us. Most people think he's a retarded 3 year old!!!

We had the self same problem. I agree to a certain degree that she has you trained – it's just classic conditioning, she'll do whatever gives her comfort/pleasure etc.

Ours hated being laid on their backs and got VERY LOUD. We bought a Bumbo, and it solved the problem to a large degree – you can leave them in it – they can't get out, it's very stable, they can see all around and "participate". We sat them in front of their activity stations or telly and they learnt (eventually) to entertain themselves.

Trust me, Bumbos are brilliant.

http://www.preciouslittleone.com/acatalog/Bumboo_Baby_Sitter_Blue.html

2nd for Bumbo here
(and to listening to advice when offered, after asking for it… 😉 )

Both ours went in a playpen from 5 months, why not old enough?

She can't (or won't) sit for long, so will end up face down on the floor screaming in a right mess.

We've gota bumbo – she hates it and tries to get out of it by straightening her back.. and she almost manages it too.

Thanks for the positive advice people, and for the others will you please take note that I am NOT pampering her (for example, we just put her down for the night and let her scream – knowing that she was just tired and grumpy, and not upset). We know the difference between whiney I-want-my-own-way crying and genuine I'm-really-upset-for-a-real-reason crying.

and to listening to advice when offered, after asking for it

I'm being given advice I really didn't ask for and don't want, which I have tried to explain.

molgrips – you obviously know it all

I know a fair bit, but I would like SOME ADVICE ON SEATING ARRANGEMENTS NOT PARENTING HENCE THE BLOODY POST!

Maybe I can give you guys some advice on how to read internet forum posts? 🙂

I know you probably feel really frustrated because sometimes its hard to know what to do especially when the baby cries. I remember getting this horrible churning feeling in my tummy everytime my first (Joel) cried. He was a weighty bugger too about 9lb when he was born, so by 5 months was huge. I would sit him in his push chair in the house cause those bouncy seats etc were too small. Plus if they are in the buggy they are a bit higher up and can see whats going on. If I was on the phone or email I could push him back and forth for a bit to settle him.

Hope that helps, and yes like I said before I left mine to cry etc and they learnt to amuse themselves but each parent has there own way of doing stuff. Oh and I never on any account have ever let them sleep in our bed, thats when the real problems start!!!

Oh and I never on any account have ever let them sleep in our bed, thats when the real problems start!!!

I agree.. She's been in her own room from day 1 (see?). And when she slept in our room cos we had guests problems did start up actually. I'm not really frustrated about the crying baby (unless it's right in my face and I am trying to get something done), because as outlined above I have a fairly good understanding of what she's thinking. The problem is physically where to put her to stop her getting angry, bored and frustrated. Pushchair is not a bad idea… wish our living room wasn't upstairs tho 🙂

OK so have you tried these?

or

The door bouncer is 11kg max, which is what she just about weighs now. She likes it for about 30 mins maybe. The nest thing is an option but I just wish they were a little less in-your-face with all that primary coloured crap dangling in the poor kid's face. But maybe that's all the options we have…

Was a while ago & can't really remember the detail but…

somebody gave us a sort of bond-villain command centre thing. had a seat in the middle that was like a door bouncer but that could swivel through 360 degrees and around it was a series of kiddy gym type toys, plus a couple of "desk" bits they could rest stuff on

They both really liked it. Was height-adjustable too, so you could have them hanging in mid air or half-standing

You need to reduce her apparent need to be attached to you – she'll be crawling soon and then you're knacked.
You can get musical keyboards with lights, which rotate, so they can be played while on your back – ours liked that.

Have another one – stopped us fretting so much about the first. We'll soon see the impact of number 3.
😯

sadly all the horrible primary coloured crap is belligerent and numerous.
argh we are at the whole pink stage now she's 3, although she has a Castle Greyskull which is pretty cool and a green balance bike instead of the usual Disney princess nonsense. Its hard to let them not get sucked in by Barbie and all that shite.

Ar, baby bond villain things are something we've looked at but most are 11kg or so max.

Primary colour crap? Why on earth do you think they do that? To annoy parents or maybe to stimulate the child (which may stop them from getting bored like yours does). If you are avoiding things in bright colours you are narrowing your options somewhat!

Well my own impressions are that they are far too busy and 'loud' to spend much time with (and a few people have written about that too) so I'd rather go with something simpler. Just worries me that with too much junk (like some have) that she'll not really get into any one thing in particular.. and end up with the attention span of a walnut like my sister 🙂

But yeah – one of the inflatable nest things might be our best bet. As I say the sit in things are mostly too small.

Primary colour crap? Why on earth do you think they do that?

To sell their stuff to parents who automatically think kids means primary colour overload.

What a bunch of hard hearted swines on here..!!!

From personal experience with my two boys (oldest is now 3 and is taller than his 4+ year old cousin) rather than trying to find someway to prop her up so you can go do stuff, why not get a sling and take her with you.? Both of ours were carried around while doing dishes/hoovering/tidying up/washing etc. and it turned into a rather fun activity for both parent and child, you can have a laugh and interact with her while having both hands free to get things done, plus you know she is safe and happy.

And for the record, neither of my boys were 'just left to whinge' at all and they are both happy, independent, self realised people.

In case you don't know anything about slings….
http://www.littlepossums.co.uk/slings/soft-slings.htm#mayatie

Our 3 year old boy still gets carried in these slings on days out when he gets tired.. Bloomin Mountain Buggy was a waste of money..! 🙂