I think my stanley knife with a fresh blade in it must be pretty close.

It seemed to slip into my left index finger with incredible ease during a DIY session this morning producing a very impressive flow of blood all over our bedroom furniture.

That's todays afternoon ride knackered 😡

The wit on STW?

Get some superglue on it, it'll be reet.

Gee Jay's reflexes, it would seem…

Don't tell Ton, he'll be off castrating peados with it before tea time

MikeT-23 – Parry and Riposte?

I used to do a lot of woodcarving. Lots of wee cuts – usually while sharpening tool (oh right that'll be sharp now)

I gave up on regular plasters as they wouldn't stay on, so i'd keep a roll of plaster strip to hand instead. But never any scissor.

So i'd wrap a cut in the plaster strip, awkwardly the strip with stanley knife, then commence dressing the new wound, awkwardy cut the strip, then commence dressing the new wound.

One cut resulted three further stanley related injuries once

Ouch. Food processor blade must be in the top 10. 😳

Hora?

🙂

I've also got a new supersexy circular saw with a pre-scoring function, give a beautiful factory-edge crisp square cut on MDF. Its guarded and safety featured to the max, so you'd need to be really keen to cut yourself with it.

BUT

Two sheets of 18mm MDF, with flawless square edges, sliding across each other, with a bit of speed and momentum makes a really good pair of scissors

I've often wondered if that carpet gripper stuff was invented by Hitler, it's the most evil stuff ever invented.

Scalpel, or a prehistoric flint flake tool, had a look at some when I was doing my degree, hundreds of thousands of years old, and the bastard was still so sharp I didn't feel it slice open my thumb until the blood started flowing.

Sharpest things in the world are the tools used inside electron microscopes IIRC, and you physically can't get any sharper, they're single-atom-wide tips used to push other atoms around.

My Wusthof bread knife. It scares me.

The wife's tongue – I'll get me coat…

Broken glass is the sharpest thing in the world. It's edges also go down to single atom thickness. But it blunts after the first contact.

Alternatively, a mouthful of fizzy hairbos washed down with a lemon'n'grapefriut chaser is pretty dam sharp.

My dad used to do a bit of silvermithing. He was partway through making a ring once and decided to put it on, it was a bit tight so took a few twists. Then realised the was a sharp burr on the inside of the ring and nice spiral cut all the way up his finger. Just as tight to get off again but a lot more slippery.

Houns' dress sense

The wife's tongue – I'll get me coat…

LOL – beat me to it!!

PeterPoddy – Member

Hora?

Funny that I was going to post: certainly not hoora 😀

Scotabroad Hope your finger is feeling better, didn't think when I emailed you earlier that I wouldn't be around to receive your email.
If you were planning to turn up on Sunday let me know, we are planning to depart from the carpark opposite the shop. I have tracked down Johnny Ninja and he is even going to lay off the drink on Saturday night to come out 😆

In my experience, the blades of an electric plane are quite sharp

mmmm bacon

yup, new blades in an electric plane…. found out when it touched the edge of my thumb. green i was back then.

my ori nomi (wood chisels) from japan are **** sharp once sharpened up on a water stone. so sharp you can shave with them (with care) and they stay sharp for ages if not dropped or chinked.

they're made in the same way as a samuri sword; folding soft metal over hard. you end up with a grain/damascus (although they're not) look to them they take a while to sharpen and if you have a chip in them ages it takes ages to remove it, but they stay sharp for an age.

mne

Beautiful chisels dude. I want one. Who was it said there is nothing more useless (or dangerous) than a blunt chisel.

Can I just say that chop saws are not "sharp". Check out the mess they make when they cut you. I caught my thumb for a second on a table saw blade once and it made a right mess of the tip. They work by obliterating anything in their way!

My kittens claws as it shimmies up my leg

A Samurai Sword ?

ffs Corporal Flasheart has a special bread knife. Wouldn't you have known it.

My kitten bit me eating sliced ham out of my hand the first night I got her. Drew blood, but because she is a kitten she got away with it. **AWWW**

The wit on STW?

Sadly lacking for years. Its all bitterness, jealousy and fake attacks on car drivers.

hi Eric, just read your post, meant to come up but had a lazy start today. Went out with the wee lad up to Heathhall ofest for a wee birl, then had a quick blast down the side of the nith and up over the crichton in the Sunshine tonight.

Which was nice 😉

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

Dunno, but I bet the smelliest (and thickest) thing in the world is a michelle mcmanus jobbie!.

Off at quite a tangent there nobeerinthefridge.

What time's your CPN due round?

My Veritas Jack plane blade……. only a scratch mind. Don't strop plane blades on your thighs 😳

The lid on a tin of beans + absinthe = Still no feeling/nerves in one finger.

Those chef things for making hand (sic) sliced potato……….. I'll say no more

"Don't strop plane blades on your thighs"

so you were sat there one day and thought;

"I know, I'll take me trews off and run the plane blade up and down my thigh to give it a really good edge"

?

wwaswas I think it was one of those specialist self-pleasuring sex games..

I knew a plasterer who'd been using the same trowel for over ten years. It had worn down to about two inches across the face of the blade and was so sharp it could do your fingers without much effort.

Tracey Emin.