FFS. Having spent AGES trying to convince a foreign company to organise a warranty repair on something, two weeks ago they sent me a link to book a collection with TNT.

Duly done, then spent the whole of what was a beautiful day waiting inside but predictably the driver never collected the package. It’s taken 10 days to get a response from them as their customer support is useless, and it now seems that the driver is claiming no one was at home.

Interestingly no card was left, I didn’t see anyone, the owner of the shop opposite didn’t see anyone (they have to park in his entrance to access my house), and the CCTV for the time the driver claimed I wasn’t in shows no one either. Obviously a ninja.

Oh yes, and the pickup slip has my phone number on it.

So if you’re Googling yourself, TNT, you’re a useless shower of ineffective half-arsed knuckle-dragging pillocks.

Had similar with UPS dropping off a bike.

Turned my new bike day into a “drive to depot, pick up said bike” evening*.

****.

* Once I’d spent 30 minutes on the phone to the depot manager explaining that his driver had parked in the street a few doors down from my house, then driven off without even getting out of the van.

All couriers can be totally rubbish at times, I’ve found. TNT once lost a Rohloff wheel I’d sent to Australia. After lots of arguing, they eventually paid up about 1/3 of what it was worth.

Three years later, a TNT van turns up with a very dusty wheel box. It hadn’t got any further than Milton Keynes.

I was expecting this to be a failed attempt at retribution following some kind of scam personal injury claim.

TNT are useless.

UPS are out go to.

I can cope with the occasional no show as shit happens. It’s the lying that deserves total disrespect. When found out the customer should have the choice of which orifice the insert the missing object.

Ask them to check the tracking on the van. did it go anywhere near your address on that day?

TNT once left a box full of blood samples on top of somebody’s car in a hospital car park, and drove-off without them.

My favorite was a dog-walker who found a TNT package (containing a signed contract addressed to me) in a ditch by the side of the road! It had my details on it, so he phoned me….. that was an interesting conversation! TNT tried to tell me that it was caused by a faulty door on one of their vehicles.

Total shower of sh*t.

DHL aren’t much better – we have just been issued an official warning by the ministry of health in Taiwan because they have been importing our goods into the country without filling out the customs paperwork – effectively smuggling them in. Potentially a $150,000 fine and up-to 7 years in (a Taiwanese) prison for me 😯

DPD (who are normally pretty good) drove past my house (lights on, car in drive) to leave a package at my neighbours… Sometimes they just do stupid things.

DPD failed to delivery my new failed shock just before a holiday scheduled for am delivery. I called and they said they only make one attempt per day. You’ve not made any says I. Yes we have, red door says they. No, oak door at number twelve, red door at 17 says I. We only make one attempt per day says they. You’ve made no attempts to the address on the packet says I. Ended with me having to go to the depot and create a scene for someone to go and fetch it out of the back of a van which was simply impossible for the ten minutes previously while I was asking nicely.

The way some couriers act is shite but I can’t help thinking we’re all partly to blame. No one wants to pay delivery charges (or at least very little) so drivers get paid peanuts on crap contracts and we still expect them to give a shit about our delivery (among the hundred others they have to fit in that day, some likely on their own time). For sure though the lying part is indefensible (although I guess if you’d lose your job otherwise…).

TNT guy tried phoning me when my bike was to be delivered, I called back but he was already 20 miles away. Arranged to meet halfway and gave me bike out of back of van.

DPD, unusually failed a delivery when he phoned he was outside the house I gave him instructions, just as the delivery instructions, got home no package. Next day first thing package arrives. Driver reckons it was a temp on first attempt and “they just don’t give a shit mate”

The only delivery drivers that can find my flat are royal mail and DHL

Several years ago TNT failed to deliver a relativly expensive piece of wall art we ordered. Supplier who was a small independent artist was furious and immediately sent a full refund. A few weeks later we were contacted by a church minister who had found the packaged art in a ditch. He spent quite while tracking us down as addressee as when he contact TNT they didn’t want anything to do with it.

To cut a long and weird story short, we got hold of the art, the artist went round to ministers house to give him a small art gift to say thank-you and they ended up getting married!