Last night took dog for a walk in park. Ahead of me a couple (of the big boned variety) waddled past the rubbish bin and out of the side gate and heading to their car. On continuing past them I reach the park bench that they had recently vacated, where I discover the pizza boxes and polystyrene chip boxes that they had left there, the scruffy bastards. I looked back to see if they had driven off so I could ‘have a word’ but they had gone. The lazy, lazy ****. Grrr.

The other one that boiled my piss yesterday was getting overtaken by a woman in a silver Nissan Micra for the second time in a few weeks. She never deviates from her kerb hugging line so passes me within inches of my elbow. FFS!!

Before you start, I know I’ve typed without random Caps and the grammar is reasonably accurate so it’s crap rant. My tyre logo’s line up with valve caps and the garden isn’t in too much of a mess though.

Been told how best to keep my kids safe this morning though it’s been coming a while!
Riding to school, rather than taking the kids (5 and 8 ) on a narrow pavement next to a really busy road we take a small shortcut down a wide one way street (pavements on both sides and about 100m long). Every day an old guy in a people carrier shakes his head at us and this morning he stopped next to me to tell me that what we were doing was illegal. I’m not stupid but I also know I’d rather risk them riding the 10m of road without a pavement in the wrong direction where they can be clearly seen by incoming cars than risk getting wiped out by a wagon on the other road.
Needless to say this has only made me want to piss him off even more.

isitafox: speak to the council, state your case and get them to sign it as a cycle contraflow. That’ll piss him off 😀

we live on a very quiet cul de sac, a yoof who lives with his parents over the road and down a bit, in early 20s, doesn’t work but somehow affords to run a newish mini. Parks it outside someone else’s house and without fail leaves the house at 12.10am to give his gf a lift home, both of them talking and laughing loudly in the street, loud music in the car and engine noise. Then the same loud music and engine noise 10 mins later when he comes back, often sits with the engine running for several minutes or sometimes conducts loud phone conversations in the car with the engine running. His dad looks the sort who’d lamp you for suggesting his son conducts himself otherwise so I don’t ever mention it and just carry on moaning to my wife and wishing he’ll see sense and chuck his son out.
First world problems and all that.

Cycling home the other night and my nose was streaming, to the point where it was running back down my throat (nice eh?!). It is something i don’t like doing and have probably only ever done about 3 times in my life, but i stopped on the quiet country lane i was on and spat into the hedgerow, basically i needed to breathe.

A lady pulled over and gave me a right rollocking, but couldn’t see the irony that she was driving a D-reg Volvo estate with more pollution coming out of the back than Sizewell B

We park on the street outside the house , when there is a space, only for some numb nuts to park soo close it makes getting out In the morning a PITA … Yet behind their car is loads of space.. Knew there was a good reason to have a towbar fitted.

I never get why people who park on the road just bung it in the middle of a gap, rather than park it so that 2 cars could park comfortably in there.
People who drive through pedestrian precincts which are ped only except for deliveries and disabled between 08:00-18:00.
One oaf had a go at me for daring to walk through it at 17:15, when it was pointed out that it was no vehicles until 18:00 he just said “so?”. The red mist descended, I dragged him out of the car and shut the door on his head several times until he lost conciousness. That showed him!
*not really, but in my head thats what should have happened*

Driving to work this morning, off the M8 and onto the Clydeside Expressway (for any interested locals). Car is front is dethering at 40mph in the ‘fast’ lane, nobody to their left, nobody for a distance in front, they seem to be unaware of what’s happening in the world around them. After a shortish distance they pull over, I make progress past and notice the reason for the dithering – a **** dog on the drivers lap!!

What really grated on me is that I wasn’t able to get a decent look at the reg plate before they left the dual carriageway, otherwise I was up for giving the Police a call

Not being able to find the owner of the cat that shits on my lawn.

The longer it takes to track him down the more I’m going to kill him when I do.

Joking aside are you sure it’s a cat? We have wild rabbits that shit on the lawn at our place. The cats normally shit in the flower beds of gardens.

First there was the close pass from a lorry this morning. Then he used the bus and cycle lane to get a jump on the traffic onto a big 3 lane roundabout.

Then there was the knob on a Planet X bike at the same roundabout, weaving through the traffic who nearly weaved under the trailer of a van which he hadn’t noticed.

And then there was the bastard on an Orange Crush who drafted me for a good mile and a half, who wouldn’t be dropped without me having to make it very obvious I was really having to work hard to do it.

It’s a cat. I’ve seen it do it.

Harry_the_Spider – Member

Not being able to find the owner of the cat that shits on my lawn.

The longer it takes to track him down the more I’m going to kill him when I do.
I am able to find the owner of the one who does it on mine. It’s me (technically Mrs V)…

Stupid cat, doesn’t it know that that’s what other people’s lawns are for…

😉

Another shit one I’m afraid… there’s a path that goes past my house, kids use it, people walk their dogs down it, I walk or ride down it to get to the local shop… on Sunday I went down it and there’s bits of dog shit strewn all over the path! Who the bollocking hell leaves their dog’s crap on a public path?? I scooped it into a bag and walked the all of 20metres to the nearest dogcrap bin.
Wanted to put up a sign “If you leave dog shit here YOU ARE SCUM” but seethed instead.

The person who walks their dog by letting it loose in QECP. WTF? – random massive hound loose about the place with no owner in sight.

And it likes to chase bikes, especially those with kids on them – oh joy. Perfect for our kids club nights 😕 😈

The wee fanny in the red audi last night who overtook me and several mates on the wrong side of the road just as I was about to turn right.

My boss, when I say I am going to do something and then they come back after a week of me having discussions with outside agents and say “I thought I made it clear I didn’t want that” – No. You didn’t. Your opportunity to do so was last week immediately after I said the words – “Right, I’ll get onto that and start the ball rolling.”

Yesterday the fannies on the train complaining about the suicide on the tracks which disrupted one morning of their lives.

These rants are piss poor. All of them. I was recently unable to sort out my bike’s gear changing issues. New cranks, chain and cassette.

I’ve done this 100s of times and after trying a new mech hanger I gave up and cycled the three miles to my LBS.

Three days later I get the call. Bike’s all ready, come and pick it up.

The whole thing’s still slipping, slopping and generally being crap. I EVEN TOOK **** BISCUITS!

For the second time in the last 12 months or so: A dog owner grabs his dog when I’m running past and then asks why I don’t thank him. For what? preventing his dog attacking me? Grrrr. This country is overrun with bloody dogs. I’m sick of them.

i went to try and get one of those cheap Aldi stove fans on sunday, and they’d sold out!

It was only 11.45!

FFS, what kind of loser is up and out of the house buying stove fans before 11am on a Sunday? 😡

I was riding down a track with my trailer on the back of my bike, passed a woman with a small kid and a buggy. Also with them was a Rottweiler, which took a look at my trailer and ran along next to me growling. I stopped, called it over and petted it. Lovely thing. I likes dogs me.
(not a rant)

Five of the parent and child spaces at Tesco this morning taken up by selfish pricks lazy pricks who couldn’t be bothered to walk an extra 20 or 30 yards.

“lifes to short an all that” sent on an errand last night full of cold for lots of fresh fruit to Asda at 9.30pm in the van(newish), so I park in an empty row away from the store so no one parks next to me just incase I might get doored. I come back 20 minutes later and an big grubby volvo is parked right next to so much so I could not load the shopping in the side door!!!!! WHYYYYYY

The inability of humanity to a) get along collectively and b) agree with me, pisses me off every day.

I’m designing a new project at work but need to do a load of data analysis to do it properly. Boss rocks up at my desk asking why i haven’t got the plan for him.
“I’m doing the analysis needed”
“Why are you doing that? Just do the project”
“I can’t do the project without knowing exactly where to target it”
“Yeah you can, you just do it. Get on with it”
“It doesn’t work like that, the project is to specifically target wastefullness and needs to be precise”
“Well i just want it to happen now”
“It can’t happen without the analysis or it’ll just be a waste of time and money”
“Just start the work” – Turns his back and buggers off 🙄 👿

Morons who park with three-quarters of their car (usually a SUV of some sort) across the pavement, making it impossible for parents to get past with prams.

Couple of offenders on roads near me, but most often happens near the school as mums and dads cause other parents to have to walk in the road to get round their Range Rover or Nissan Juke.

Personally I always used to make a point of trying to get through the gap, even if it looked a bit tight and there was a chance the pram might scuff their paintwork. And of course folding their wing mirror in, for safety.

Any given car park, anywhere in the country on a Saturday morning: rammed to the gunnels, except for the rows of empty disabled spaces right outside the shop door!

Why are there so flippin many of them?? Whoever did the maths, did it wrong.

I used to start ramming the push chair into the gap that was clearly too small.
Was ace when they were actually sitting in the car scratching their big fat arse.

I was having an easy ride in along the canal, and caught up with/ passed a couple of people. One of them then sped up and stayed about 10m behind for the next 5-6 miles.

FFS don’t make me pedal hard when I’m trying to chill out and enjoy the scenery for once! (I did manage not to, but it took a lot of effort)

Joking aside are you sure it’s a cat? We have wild rabbits that shit on the lawn at our place

Not that I’m a poo expert* or anything, but cat poo and rabbit poo look very very different. Goat/Sheep/Rabbit I could excuse you getting them mixed up, but not cat!

* really really not

Passed a young girl this morning on her way to school and in one hand she had a can of Red Bull and a bag of crisps in the other.
Jesus wept, we are doomed, when are folk going to stop slowly killing themselves by eating/drinking crap, it’s not unusual to see women over 20 stone waddling with their kids to school.
Come on folk get a bloody grip, your on this earth for a short time, why would you want to spend the last third of it in dreadfully poor health.
I know a guy who has type 2 diabetes, even the risk of losing limbs can’t stop him eating cakes….. and relax.

“It doesn’t work like that, the project is to specifically target wastefullness and needs to be precise”
“Well i just want it to happen now”

On the plus side, you now know where the wastefulness is 😉

People who like to moan really annoy me. Like the people who come along to community meetings about our local park, but refuse to make any suggestions, dislike anyone else’s suggestions, don’t volunteer for anything, and seem to think that if they sit on their far arses and whine then magically everything will somehow happen.

Companies that make you fill in a ridiculously detailed application form on their own website, which keeps going flakey while you’re trying to do so.

Do they only want really desperate people to work for them or something?

Getting a group bollocking from the manager during a team meeting at work because of the abusive practice of one member of staff, who WASN’T AT THE BLOODY MEETING!!!
It wouldn’t be so bad, but the only reason he knew about this person being abusive was because WE had told him, so his answer was to tell US not to be abusive!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t help thinking that Legoman’s oversupply of disabled parking spaces might be related to twinw4ll’s worries about the forthcoming obesity/diabetes/limb-loss crisis. 😐

“Do they only want really desperate people to work for them or something?“

A job I applied for last year, the salary on offer had dropped twice by the time an interview date was agreed, and then again when they rescheduled the interview to a really inconvenient time (knowing it was a two hour drive for me, they rescheduled it from 1pm to 8am). So I withdrew my application, fully expecting a further drop in the salary if I got a job offer.

Your point ^^^^^ was my conclusion.

People smoking/eating crap in front of/feeding crap to their kids. If you want to smoke or get fat then fine, but don’t pass the habit on to your kids.

Drivers who say speeding isn’t a problem, it is.

People who get off the train then stop immediately to faff. Get out of the way you moron.

People who are late. If we agreed to meet at 11am, you arrive at or before 11am. If you’re going to be late send a text or call. Don’t just turn up late without apology. And if you start faffing when you do get here words will be had.

People who who are homophobic. Who I, or anyone else chooses to sleep with has nothing to do with anyone else. As long as the person is old enough to consent it is no ones business but theirs.

People who just like to moan (yes, I do see the irony). If there is a problem either try to fix it or at very least suggest ideas on how it can be fixed.

And breathe.

People who are late. If we agreed to meet at 11am, you arrive at or before 11am.

People who are early. If I agree to meet at 11 and you arrive 10 minutes early don’t expect me to drop my sh1t and start to look after you just because you can’t tell the time.

I’m designing a new project at work but need to do a load of data analysis to do it properly. Boss rocks up at my desk asking why i haven’t got the plan for him.
“I’m doing the analysis needed”
“Why are you doing that? Just do the project”
“I can’t do the project without knowing exactly where to target it”
“Yeah you can, you just do it. Get on with it”
“It doesn’t work like that, the project is to specifically target wastefullness and needs to be precise”
“Well i just want it to happen now”
“It can’t happen without the analysis or it’ll just be a waste of time and money”
“Just start the work” – Turns his back and buggers off

Honestly, this boils my piss! **** rude bastards and my inability to not tell them to **** off!

I’d probably be loaded if I could keep my gob shut and let aresholes be arseholes!!

Legoman – Member

Any given car park, anywhere in the country on a Saturday morning: rammed to the gunnels, except for the rows of empty disabled spaces right outside the shop door!

Why are there so flippin many of them?? Whoever did the maths, did it wrong.

All the disabled drivers are parked in the parent and child spaces. Wish I was joking.

My rant is quite appropriate for the title of this thread.

Took a day off from work to attend my yearly visit to the Queen Elizabeth National Spinal Unit Spinal Clinic outreach appointment at my local hospital (35 miles away) to get the results of my 3 thoracic x-rays and Kidney/Ultrasound scan along with urology/renal results which took place at above local hospital two weeks prior. I’ve had repeated kidney/bladder infections since the start of the year and despite 14 weeks of various antibiotics i’m still suffering from it so i was keen to get the results.

Nope…no results as they cannot find them, no x-rays, no ultrasound report, no urology or renal report either so i will have to continue to dribble rancid piss and generally feel like shite till they get their **** finger out and find them.

As a cherry on top of the above i am waiting on an appointment to see a biomedical/bio-mechanical consultant that was initially set in motion March 2015 by the Spinal Clinic, despite two letters written by my doctor, two letters written by my spinal consultant from the Queen Elizabeth National Spinal Unit (glasgow) and 3 emails written by myself i am still awaiting an appointment, I raised the issue with Spinal Outreach clinic earlier today and their response was as follows (as close as i can can remember anyway).

It’s extremely disappointing that you have not heard from Dr Henrik Gollee but we in the spinal clinic/NHS (the **** national spinal clinic of Glasgow non the less!) have no means of measuring power output nor analysing your gait so i can only raise this issue with him again and take it from there.

My response was rather abrupt and may have contained a few choice words so i’ll continue to wobble/wobble/fall down (no i’m not a weeble) for the few hours a day that i can stand and support myself, 3 hours a day at work is about my limit before i don’t have the strength to place one foot in front of the other, by this time i’m absolutely **** and pedalling the 4 miles back home on my Scott E-bike is a real struggle to get my legs to turn round, even on “Turbo” mode which my bike seems to live in these days.

Rant over, hey ho…….Guess i’ll be going private for Bio-Mechanical assessment, i already attend a private physio up in Ayr and she’s done brilliant/effective work on me (unlike the previous 7+years of utter shite NHS physio’s) and i’ve had a few appointments with the team at Hampden Sports Clinic who are also very good and recommended the Ayr Physio so i’ll probably get in touch Hampden to arrange a full assessment. Spent £1000+ on treatment sessions so far this year so what’s another few ££, another few ££ is actually quite a lot considering my current pitiful earnings but i hope it will be worth it.

EDIT : just read that through, wow!…..that was quite a rant!. Feel much better now 😀