Had a major falling out with my MIL earlier this year when my mother was staying.
My inlaws are amazing people, and are hugely helpful, but it is all on their terms. Well, it came out and came out in a big way – my OH screaming at her mum to leave our house could be heard throughout the village.
My mum hasn’t visited since (in fact we haven’t seen her since) and I’m not 100% sure what will happen between her and my OH when she does next weekend.
I apologised to everyone for my part in it. I figured taking responsibility for saying hurtful things (however much I may have believed in them) was still the right thing to do.
I feel for you OP. Stand by your wife and do as someone my OH works with – whenever her inlaws visit, she makes sure she is in another town. Even if that means missing a day of the weekend with her own children (her in-laws do sound very like yours).