What I’d like to do this weekend:
Go to an old friends housewarming party. Half Scottish, half American, there will be food and beer and it’ll probably be a laugh.

What I will be doing this weekend:
Going to “Fat Aunty Sandra’s” *40th wedding anniversary. Hosted at some local sports club bar, with a crap DJ, and carb based nibbles and attended by mostly the other half of the OH family and their friends, so she barely knows anyone, let alone me. Those who do attend spend the other 362** days of the year moaning about how much they resent them.

Apparently I’m not allowed to duck out on this one because I’ve avoided the last 2.

At a previous occasion I was told “You’re brave turning up” after expressing my feelings for the aforementioned Aunt, I my defense she started the argument, I just had one of those flashes of inspiration that are usually only had 30minutes later and prefixed by “I should have said……….”.

Urhhhhhgggggg…………….. anyone else got inlaws they really can’t stand?

*The OH’s words not mine
**they also host equally bad christmas and summer parties.

Apparently I’m not allowed to duck out on this one because I’ve avoided the last 2.

Gambled and lost. Should have gone to the last one 😉

3/10 for the rant. A little less for spelling and grammar.

Just tell them to **** off and go to your mates McYankies carb loading party.

Occasionally MTFU is the correct response. If you only ever see then at these events I’m not sure there is any obligation to go

Although 40yrs is impressive going

Sounds like you have your mind made up. Time for a killer dose of the shits.

a killer dose of the shits.

Timing’s everything with this.

Just before they do the toasts is probably the best moment to lose complete bowel control.

😆

My wife’s pretty much stopped turning up to my family do’s. She likes them, just in very small doses very irregularly. Doesn’t bother me, I’d rather go and have a good time without her saying she wants to leave every half an hour. Go to your mate’s party, leave your OH to go to Fat Aunty Sandra’s.

Seriously????

Them: “Are you coming to our 40th anniversary party?”

You: “Hey, I would, but I don’t want to.”

Life’s too short etc.

or go – spike the punch with picolax and then never have to worry about seeing them ever again due to the embarrassment…..

You’re going to have to tell us what you said about fat aunt sandra previously.
Another way out is to have a big blazing row with your partner the day before so bad that you’re not talking to each other and you can get out of going coz she hates the sight of you.

Surely the trick, as has been alluded-to, is to ensure you’re never invited again. How you do that is up to you and your respect for your reputation!

Spend the whole evening trying to flirt with your OH’s cousin(s), it won’t get you out of this one, but you’ll never be dragged along in the future 😆

EDIT: Too slow 😳

One is invited with an invitation.

Either-

a) don’t go, life’s too short etc…

or

b) get so drunk you pass out

I’d go with ‘life’s too short’. F- that. Family gatherings are always shit.

you could talk about the economy all night, pound to a penny you won’t get invited again. 😉

I wouldn’t go. My wife would know I wouldn’t enjoy it and so wouldn’t “make” me. I do 90% of the stuff you mildly dislike, leaving me plenty of space to swerve the remainder which I would hate.

Aunt’s party? Err, no. And I like all my aunts. Luckily none of them have ever had a party. Or if they have I wasn’t invited…

Strictly speeking I dont get invited already, that caused an argument in itself when I didn’t accept a stream of friend requests on facebook from people I barely knew. The OH gets invited and unilaterally accepts on my behalf.

The argument revolved arround me having broken my arm (not for the first time) on my bike and her passing judgement “that she didn’t know why my OH put up with me and my sporting activities”. My response was (word for word, bearing in mind the original comment was made about me but not too me) “if any other fat people would like to offer an oppinion on my exercise regime then I’ll happily comment on their lack of any”.

I carry the sense of smug satisfaction with me to this day.

Apparently I’m not allowed to duck out on this one because I’ve avoided the last 2.

I would have thought that this is a pretty good indication of your attitude to the proceedings, and as such why you won’t be going to this one.
Life is, indeed, too short to have to spend time in the company of people to whom you’re at best indifferent.
Sack off, citing a dose of norovirus, and go get shitfaced and overeat.
Of course, the consequences may ultimately be indistinguishable from the excuse used to avoid the original party, but achieving it will be lots more fun… 😀

Maybe mess with the flan?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/9569671/Jon-Snow-I-drove-down-the-M40-on-acid.html

…maybe not 😉

As above, don’t go, lives too short. If the OH insists then ‘show face’ and bugger off early to the McDude party.

I’d go with ‘life’s too short’. F- that. Family gatherings are always shit.

And, they’re not family.

It’s posts like this that make me glad that both my wife and I come from small families.

“There’s a family do and I don’t want to go…” – fine, don’t go then.

“But the family might fall out with me if I don’t go…” – fine, let them. You don’t particularly like them and if they’re going to get pissy about non-attendance of a party then they aren’t people I’d be in any hurry to improve relationships with.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; life’s too short to spend it in the company of arseholes. Especially out of a sense of obligation. Go to the housewarming, enjoy yourself, set a precedence that you’re not going to pseudo-auntie Sandra’s parties again, otherwise you’ll be in the same boat for the summer party, the Christmas party, their 41st wedding anniversary next year…

MTFU seriously !! I wouldn’t go and Mrs Taxi couldn’t make me, but she wouldn’t try because she’d be with me having a laugh at the old friends house warming.

Seriously, are they too far apart that you can’t show your face at FAS and then move on to the real party? Sounds like it might go on a bit later too…

“Thank you for the invite but I’m afraid I have made other plans”

Doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that!

Life is to short to go to places you don’t want and spend time with people you don’t like.

FFS – really just don’t go unless you have done something really awful and are totally in your wife’s debt.

or follow Peter Cook’s example

“David Frost rang Peter Cook up some years ago. “Peter, I’m having a little dinner party on behalf of Prince Andrew and his new bride-to-be Sarah Ferguson. I know they’d love to meet you, big fans; Be super if you could make it: Wednesday the twelfth.” “Hang on… I’ll just check my diary.” Pause and rummaging and leafing through diary noises. And then Peter said “Oh dear. I find I’m watching television that night.”

I haven’t seen any of my aunts or uncles since 1989. 8)

Apparently I’m not allowed to duck out on this one because I’ve avoided the last 2.

Sounds rather like your OH has made the decision already. It strikes me that family life is full of things we’d rather not do but do to keep the peace. Or perhaps I am just too hen pecked…?

My OH’s family live about twenty miles away, which can be reached by some nice quiet lanes, with some decent hills en route.
I tend to always take the opportunity to have the mrs turn up on time, I set off at the same time as they leave in the car…

Of course you could show up, say something to really offend them the minute you arrive, be forced to leave then go to your mates do. You’ve then fulfilled you obligations, not compromised your views and got to do what you wanted.

Win, win, win 😀

If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Are you a fully grown man able to make your own decisions, or do you need permission for everything you do or not do?

Go, you’ll be able to see what you & your wife will be in 40 years time.

km79 – Member

If you don’t want to go, don’t go. Are you a fully grown man able to make your own decisions, or do you need permission for everything you do or not do?

I’m the second one 😆

I would also feel awkward about going if I’d had a bit of a blow-up with Auntie Sandra. She’ll have a few drinks and want to fight you I reckon.

or follow Peter Cook’s example

or George Bernard Shaw’s and be “unable to attend due to a subsequent engagement”

or Gazza’s and wear a plastic belly under your shirt ?

I’m of that age /disposition where I’m generally honest and say something along the lines of ‘I can’t be bothered /I’m having a night in as I’ve got a lot on at work and I’m tired’

If it’s political and family.. It’s generally ‘I’ve already got plans to go out with so and so, we arranged it a few weeks ago, his cat just died and he needs some work advice as his boss is bringing him down’ so we are going to the pub to have a good chat and get smashed! Soz!’

But to be fair I have the kind of relationship with extended family where I can just say ‘it will bore me, it’s not my idea of a good evening, so I’m not comming’ and it won’t be held against me.

Edukator – Troll

I haven’t seen any of my aunts or uncles since 1989.

I haven’t had any aunts or uncles since 1965 😆

I can’t believe people don’t know how to stage their own break down to avoid going! Are modern cars so rubbish you can’t stop them with a neat removal of some small, easily replaced part?

Is it a good mate? ie the one thats been going through a really rough spell in his life at the moment and you need to be there to show moral support through his emotional dificulties?

of course it is…

Is it a good mate? ie the one thats been going through a really rough spell in his life at the moment and you need to be there to show moral support through his emotional dificulties?

This may well be true, although “I’m going because she’s hot and recently divorced” probably isn’t the best tactic.