My dad’s been suffering from the Big C over the past few years. He’s been in his third bout of Chemo since Jan but given his age and a previous bout finishing not too long back, he’s struggling to cope with the treatment. Was down visiting at the weekend and they were to have a meeting today with the consultant which will effectively decide whether to continue treatment.

I need to phone home later. I don’t want to.

A difficult phone call to make, but maybe your dad would like to hear from you, and even discuss it with you or explain the reasoning behind any decision. Be supportive and respect his informed choices, maintain his dignity.

Not much I can say to that mate, I think your feelings are entirely understandable. Good luck for what it’s worth.

Talking about that sort of stuff over the phone is hard. You have my sympathy.

Sorry to hear this and good luck tonight. How else can you look at the phone call? What’s best for your Dad here (both re. the phone call and of course the bigger picture).

However much it hurts you, he’ll be hurting more. He needs you and will likely want to see as much of you as he can.

Best wishes O.P.

Good luck with this, it’s a terrible thing to have to do and I hope the news is better than expected.

I recently had to sit in with my Dad while the doctor told us they were having to switch off the machines keeping Mum alive. didn’t want to be there and it wasn’t easy but I’m glad I was with him. I really feel for you.

Best wishes buddy.

Been through similar with my Dad nearly 3 years ago now. He decided to stop the chemo himself as it was very hard.

Just pick up the phone and be prepared to get in the car and visit tomorrow. No matter what the decision.

I feel for you mate. We’re going through similar with my dad at the minute. We also don’t think he’s being completely honest with us about his prognosis and is trying to ‘protect’ us. I now have permission to speak to his consultant directly. I’m pretty scared.

My dad was diagnosed initially with the bigC, later transpired it was a herniated asophigous. He also has heart, lung and arthritis to add to his problems and isn’t fit enough or likely to be to allow what is described as a 50/50 chance of survival even if they could operate!
This was 3mths after we sat by mum whilst she passed away….

MrsT lost both her parents to the bigC.

My dad was living on borrowed time near the end. I used to phone him and sometimes no matter how much I loved him I would dread the call because it may have brought worse news.

Dreading the call is okay – it’s not wrong to feel this way. Do call though because you could regret it in the future. Going forward even if the news is negative you might want to grab every chance you can to be together (Depending on your relationship obviously).

Having been in a similar situation, I really feel for you jimmy.

All the best,

J

Been there too!

Very hard call to make, but ultimately there will be relief all round.

Good luck. Be Strong. Make the most of every minute.

Been there,it’s shit. Just phone him. He will keep you strong.

The thought of the call is much worse than the actual conversation. My grandad was in a similar situation, once he’d decided he’d had enough of the chemo, his last few months were much happier and we had tears of laughter as well as the other. You’ve got my number.

Thanks people, made me get on with it. Mum picked up the phone sounding cheery, treatment continues tmrow. It’s not over but “Today is a good day” she said.

That’s great news.

Excellent. Keep talking. My dad died suddenly the day after we’d had a big row and the next thing I heard was about him dead on the bowling green. It screwed me up for years.
Everyone you know will die, cherish the time you have with him. And everyone else you care about.