a metal ring became stuck on a man’s penis

A fire brigade crew used an angle grinder to remove the ring.

It said the man had put on the “titanium-based ring” seven hours beforehand and attended the emergency department after suffering from “pain and swelling”.

Angle Grinder 😯

He’ll go for something you can cut with tin snips next time…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-39285486

I thought the best cure for swelling was discreet massage.

It sounds like a story with a happy ending, anyway.

the man has since had a “full functional recovery”.

I am presuming there is an official medical test for such things.

I chatted with a firefighter once, he told me a similar story. Guy turns up at A and E with a metal ring on his wanger. It’s been on for three days, is now the size of a can of Stella, reddish purple in colour, starting to smell and every time it’s touched it hurts intensely. A and E staff can’t remove it so the Brigade are called out. It’s removed with no issues. When asked how it ended up on his old chap “My friend put it on there whilst I was asleep…..”

I wonder if his “friend” is this guy:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-who-put-two-live-10036054

Why do they even ask? Pretty obvious what happened, and the chap’s going to be embarrassed enough already.

“Tell me an interesting lie about your genitals.” would be a more honest question.

That’d be fun to get off, you get lots of sparks when you grind titanium. And it heat-hardens too. The titanium that is, I suspect the appendage heat-softens.