Overheard in the Lochore Meadows Country Park cafe queue.

“Can I hey a moccacino and a pie to take oot”

Lol, to be fair mcmoonter, that’s mainly in southern Fife.

Cowboy country as I like to call it.

“He wisnae dyslexic efter ah made him write it oot twenty times!”

Words actually spoken by an ex-colleague of mine. Old School.

‘Fife Flyers 2, Durham Wasps 5’

Ok, so it was a long time ago.

Lol, to be fair mcmoonter, that’s mainly in southern Fife.

Cowboy country as I like to call it.

The lady behind the counter promptly served him, sounds like a regular order this side of the Lomonds.

Dundee – “Stovies – urr ye waantin salad wi that?”

“This spesh is pish” (ok, not just Fife)

“Hi y’all! Here we are in St Andrews, Scotland, England….the home of golf.”

“Would you like relish with your Haggis Supper.”

“No nukes here son, move on!”

“It pronounced Cur – coddy/Lou…kers.”

“It pronounced Cur – coddy

I was caught crossing chevrons on the A9 at Blair Atholl nearly thirty years ago. The policeman who served me with the ticket spelt Kirkcaldy as you do. I refrained from correcting him.

” I think I might need some more logs ”

Things you could only hear in Fife;

‘Thank you for coming to interview. We’ll let you know in three months.’

(Teachers applying for jobs at the Fife Council ‘generic’ interviews held several weeks ago.)

“I’ll have the salad”

Oh sorry could.

“Hi y’all! Here we are in St Andrews, Scotland, England….the home of golf.”

Was out in the Highlands with an Italian friend last Autumn who kept calling them English mountains. The more he drank, the worse it got. The more paranoid I got about being English.

“That’s Edinburgh across the water”

‘Just what is Gordon up to now…?’