We all know that only a gifted few claim (claim mind you, no proof) to be able to fart and pedal standing up at the same time.

What else can’t or shouldn’t you do whilst guffing?

Talking to the Queen obviously.
Snuggled next to Kylie? Possibly not worth the gamble.
Whistling?
Reciting Vogon poetry?

Any more?

What else can’t you do whilst guffing?

Can’t or not brave enough to try?

I’ve tried the pedalling thing for years.
Uphill, downhill, knee out.
Not a squeak.
Couple of emergency stops though.

It’s a young person’s game, tbh.
No one wants an unexpected item in the bagging area, not at my time of life.

Whistle.

Can’t help smiling…..

Tightrope walk.

Burping, its nigh on impossible to do both at the same time.

You probably shouldn’t fart whilst on the receiving end of some, *ahem* oral pleasuring… 😉

Administer a stern rebuke to your children.

Floating an air biscuit totally ruins the effect.

Burping, its nigh on impossible to do both at the same time.

Rumour has it you implode

You probably shouldn’t fart whilst on the receiving end of some, *ahem* oral pleasuring…

ah but this thread’s about capability rather than etiquette.
If you want to know if guffing’s acceptable during fellatio, look in Debretts.

You probably shouldn’t fart whilst on the receiving end of some, *ahem* oral pleasuring

You can’t fart whilst necking half a bag of Tangfastic? I did not know this.

Either way, you make the same face.

Sneeze, it causes a vacuum,which causes implosion

Either way, you make the same face.

julians – Member
Sneeze, it causes a vacuum,which causes implosion

Nah I’ve sneezed and accidentally let one rip from time to time.

Pedalling out of the saddle – no problem but it will come out in time with pedal strokes.

Kylie thinks mine smell of roses so no probs there.

Burping I’ve not tried though…

have read that breaking wind whilst tromboning could put you off your rhythm.

personally i think that it would ruin any majestic rendition of motzart or any other famous works imho 😳

🙂

Guitar solos too then?
Is it possible to let slip the dogs of war whilst attempting a tricky glissando?

Todays word

Guffellatio… The pleasurable feeling associated with total enjoyment of a children’s fairy story at Christmas

Diffuse bombs
Negotiate the release of hostages
Talk people down from the rooftops of tall buildings
Read the 10 o’clock news. Unless it’s the ‘and finally bit’
‘”I pronounce you man and wife”
Wear a gimp suit

Plug your stash

Goes off like a rocket

I can’t not lift a leg

Inhale. After yes, during no.

Blow candles out

racefaceec90 – Member
have read that breaking wind whilst tromboning could put you off your rhythm

Especially if it’s rusty!!

Especially if it’s rusty!!

For clarity I meant the trombone and not the OP!!! (just noticed his name 😯 )

Riding a fixie – unless you like to do an involuntary nose wheelie down the road as you forget to keep pedalling…
Er, so I’ve heard…

Pedal a unicycle.

Really?
Not even during that backwards/forwards palaver whilst juggling and/or trackstanding?

No one would notice if you unclenched for a sec.

Keep a straight face 😆

Feel sorry for the people around you

Have a poo, that would be just having a poo.

Ducking underwater to stalk somebody ‘gator style.

Go on a successful first date.

Have diarrhea

Do a bong.

Either way, you make the same face.

I manage to keep a perfect poker face while releasing ninja farts, so there.

Take confession

Be taking notes in a disciplinary hearing at work. I did it and it changed the tone of the whole affair. In fairness to me, I couldn’t hold it any longer and I made the grave error of deciding it would be a stealthy, odourless air biscuit. It was the exact opposite